And Still Can't Stop Hoping
by Samantha Aswad
Summary: AU: Neville was named the Boywholived. Harry’s mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?
1. Prologue

**_And still can't stop hoping_**

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the character belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_**Warnings:** There will be child abuse, violence, bad, bad words ;) and Harry won't have a happy life…poor guy. Later (much later) there will be also Slash.  
And: My first language isn't English! But I have one of the best Betareaders you could ask for, so don't worry too much about that warning ;)  
So I'd like to thank searinox a lot! Thanks for all your time!  
So…and now let's get started and please let me know how you like the story!  
Thx,  
Samantha Aswad_

* * *

_**Prologue**_

At first glance, it seemed to be a night like any other. A Halloween like every other year. Some families were visiting relatives and having a quiet dinner; others were just enjoying the company of their significant other. Most children had come back with more sweets they could eat hours ago. And some, like James Potter, were sitting in a pub and trying to find answers in a glass of alcohol.

Most people would think that James Potter, one of the best aurors of the ministry, would stay at home and have a nice evening with his two kids. Most would also think that over three months after the death of his wife he would be able to at least look after his kids. But most people were wrong. Very wrong.

James was still trying to come to terms with the fact that his lovely, beautiful, intelligent wife was no longer with him. And he was still trying to find someone to blame. He remembered her so clearly- her red hair, her emerald green eyes, her smile. He took another sip from the whiskey he was drinking, continuing his thoughts about his lost wife.

He remembered how happy Lily had been after the doctors had told her that she would have another baby. Another boy. Just a half year after giving birth to their firstborn son, Jonathan David Potter, Lily had been happily pregnant again.

James wondered while asking for another drink if she would have been so eager to give birth to another "little wonder", as she called Jonathan, if she had known that Lucas would be the death of her.

The doctors just weren't able to stop the blood, and just a few minutes after Lucas had been born and placed into her arms as a last wish, she had died. With a smile on her lips. "Take care of my little survivor," she'd told him. Why couldn't she be the survivor?

James sighed while looking into his half-empty glass. He remembered the talk they'd had about the names so clearly in his head. How much Lily wanted to name their second son indirectly after her. Lucas, because Lily also started with L; like how Jonathan had named after James. And his second name was to be Harry, after his Grandfather on James' side of the family; like how Jonathan had his middle name from Lily's father, David. Such a small thing to make Lily happy.

He never called him Lucas these days. He just couldn't bring himself to be reminded of Lily so much. But it seemed that Lu…Harry was trying to do everything he could to torture his father.

His eyes were nearly the same shade of green Lily's had been. It hurt just to look into the eyes of his youngest son. And he still wasn't sure if he could stop blaming this small, 3-month-old baby for its mother's death.

In the rational part of his mind, he knew that the child was innocent and would never want to kill his mother. But James just couldn't stop what he was feeling. He sighed and sent a silent prayer to anyone who would listen that there would be a sign to show him who was guilty of Lily's death.

_- Another place, the same night-_

Voldemort had the perfect plan for this night. No one knew how many spies he really had within the ranks of the _Light Side_ and he was very proud of that. It was so easy to find traitors there to help him. So very easy.

Voldemort knew about a prophecy made about himself and a little brat born at the end of July and there were only two boys that fit that description – Lucas Potter and Neville Longbottom. And tonight, both of them would die.

Voldemort knew where both the Longbottoms and the Potters were hiding; he would send his most trusted Death Eaters to kill one family and he would go with three other Death Eaters and kill the other one. He knew where the Potters' house was because of Peter, and one of his spies had gotten the address of the Longbottoms.

The Longbottoms, who suspected nothing, would have nothing more than the customary wards around their house- those would be easy to break. The Potters, who knew that Voldemort was after them, had erected special wards that required either for the intruder to be keyed into them or for someone within the house to unlock them. And Peter was waiting within. There wouldn't even be James Potter to worry about- he was out getting himself drunk, Peter had told them. And he wouldn't have to worry about the Longbottoms either. One of his Death Eaters had managed to slip a potion into their drinks at a local pub earlier that night- they would be too weak to put up much of a fight. It was just too easy.

As Voldemort made his way to his victim's house, he thought about how easy it would be to enter the homes. One house would be opened from the inside and the other family didn't even know that they were on his dead list and were already weak. There would be no problems for either him or his Death Eater. He smirked at his servants and they nodded respectful back. Yes, too easy.

Finally Voldemort stood in front of the cradle that held the brat that could make his life a living hell. He looked into the baby face and only sneered. He would never understand why something so little, so obviously weak, could become one day a strong wizard. Babies always looked so helpless and innocent.

One of his trusted Death Eaters also looked at the small kid. "His birthday fits exactly with the prophecy. His name is-"

"I'm not interested in his name. Just in killing him," Voldemort interrupted his servant, stepping up to the slumbering child. No one else in the room was important at the moment, and Voldemort ignored them. No one made a sound, no one moved- they all knew better than to anger Voldemort at this moment...

He looked down on the small child, just three months old. He was too young for any likeness to his parents to have appeared; not that it mattered. The Dark Lord smirked, thinking that it wouldn't live long enough for anyone to find out which parent it would grow to look most like.

No longer wanting to waste his time, he said the words of the killing curse while watching his victim. "Avada Kadavra," he said, and as if in slow motion he saw the killing curse leaving his wand and flying towards the small child.

He never had the chance to duck as the curse came flying back at him. The last thing he heard before everything went black was the crying of a child and his servants' frightened screams.

_- Back at the pub -_

James was still sitting at the same spot he had been in for hours. He sighed and looked again at his watch. It was time to go home. He knew that he had made Peter wait long enough already.

He just hoped that there hadn't been any problems. The truth was, neither of the kids really liked Peter. They adored Sirius and Remus, but neither had been able to stay with Jonathan and Luc… _Harry_ that night, and Peter had been more than willing. He just hoped the house was still standing- Jonathan and Harry had been known to give out bursts of magic when particularly upset.

And with a strange calmness, he was also sure that if it was Luc…_Harry's_ fault that his mother had died, there would be a sign. A sign that James wouldn't be able to miss.

With that in mind he drank the last of his Firewhiskey, slapped some sickles on the counter, and left the pub without looking back.

He didn't yet know that his children hadn't been sleeping peacefully all night.

He didn't yet know that they haven't been alone with Peter the whole time.

And he wouldn't ask himself for a long time what really happened the night that Lucas Harry Potter got a scar in the form of a lightning bolt on his forehead.

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_And? What do you think? Please let me know if you like the prologue! Like I said it's my first English story and I'm kind of nervous about that :) And I really love reviews, so please write me one!  
And I know, that there are a lot of AUs, but I promise that will be different and I hope you'll be surprised a few times :)_

_Thanks for reading and thank for you review!  
Chau,  
Sam :)_


	2. Chapter One

**_And still can't stop hoping_**

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_And here comes the next chapter...after let me upload again...I hope, you'll like it :) And thanks again to searinox for the fast work! Thank you:)  
Samantha Aswad_

* * *

**_Chapter 1_**

_6 years later_

Lucas Harry Potter (or just Harry, as he was called these days) sat in his small room, looking out of the window. He should be happy. If an outsider were to look at his life, they would probably think that he was one of the happiest children in the world.

He had an older brother who was really popular in his school but always found some time to play with Harry. He should be happy because he was one of the best in his class at the same school his brother was.

He had a father who had become Head auror just that year and, even if his mother had died when he was born, his father tried to spend as much time as he could with his sons. He had two godfathers who tried to come by as often as they could- at least, on the weekends or birthdays and the like.

He should be happy, but he wasn't. And if you were to look a little harder, look at more than just the statistics of his life, you would see the truth. Harry Potter was more than unhappy. He was miserable.

He couldn't be happy because his older brother hated him, thanks to his father. He couldn't be happy because his brother made sure that he made no friends in his school, and everyone believed the lies about him.

His father took time out for his kids; but spending time with Jonathan meant playing with him and praising him, and spending time with Harry meant that Harry had done something wrong and needed to be punished. He had two godfathers, but Sirius was only interested in the more active Jonathan who was so much like his father and already a prankster.

And Remus just came once in a while, and always tried to spend the time equally with the boys. Remus never saw how quiet and introverted Harry really was. Remus believed James when he told him that Harry was just more interested in books than in people.

Harry was unhappy for all of these things; but what made him most unhappy, what made him truly miserable, was the knowledge that he could never change a thing. Life would always be like that for him. No matter how hard he tried to please his father, in school or at home, it was never enough.

"Your mother was so much better than you! This is how you repay her death- the death that you caused?" Harry's father would say. "She would be ashamed to see your marks! Get out of my sight!"

"Is it true that you made your professors hair turn blue? Answer me boy, is it true?" But when Harry would answer that he never wanted it to happen and that he was sorry, his father would punish him all the harder- sometimes he just slapped him across the face, but sometimes he'd draw his wand and curse his youngest son into unconsciousness. And all the while, he would tell him how ungrateful he was for having his mothers' magic, and that it should have been him, Harry, who had died; not Lily. Then he would tell him that Neville's mother had died protecting Neville, and that Neville had killed Voldemort that Halloween night six years ago, and would ask him why Harry couldn't have done something so special. James would tell him that he should be thankful to still have his father and brother and not have everything taken away from him like The-Boy-Who-Lived who lost his parents and was now living with his grandmother.

Harry knew at the age of six that no one really knew what happened that night but there were signs were enough to say that Neville Longbottom had somehow managed to kill the most feared wizard of the time- after all, what other conclusion could be drawn? The Longbottoms had been attacked, the parents had been done away with, and Neville had been unharmed, while Voldemort- he had been vanquished. His father had told him the story countless times.

Both Neville's parents had been killed by Bellatrix Lestrange and 2 other Death Eaters who had tortured both of them before they were hit by the killing curse. Voldemort had probably wanted the child for himself; but when he spoke the killing curse it must have been somehow rebounded and hit him, leaving just his ashes.

Aurors had come into the house all said that all the Death Eaters were holding their arms and Bellatrix was crying and screaming for her master while looking at the ashes in front of the small boy who had a cut on his forehead. But when the Death Eaters saw the Aurors, they began firing curses and in the battle all three Death Eaters and the two Aurors were killed.

When healers were looking after Neville after the battle they all agreed that the cut would leave a scar and that it was from a very dark curse. And so it came that that night all people knew that Neville Longbottom killed You-know-who and survived with just a star shaped scar on his forehead.

His father would than normally be quiet because he would remember who else had died that night. Peter died that night while walking down a road. His father had told him time and time again that Peter has been in their house looking after them the night Voldemort was killed.

When James had come home he had only found a short note telling him that he already left because he wanted to meet someone. James never found out who he wanted to meet because Peter got caught in a fight between Death Eaters and some Aurors and one of the killing curses hit him. He was dead before he even hit the ground.

But after a while, James had added Peter's death to Harry's list of sins because that was also the night when fate had shown him that it was Harry's fault that Lily died.

Harry was just six years old, so he never realised that his father's words didn't make sense at all- he never thought to question the credibility of his father, his father who had such commanding authority. Harry accepted everything James told him as fact.

Harry tried to atone for his sins, but he just was never good enough. Never as good as Lily, or even Peter. But Harry wasn't just cursed with the blame for the death of two of the people his father had most loved- no, he also was cursed with looking very, very much like Lily.

And since he was 6 years old his father would hurt him just for looking too much like her. He had her nose, her lips, her cheekbones and- most importantly- her eyes. His black hair was not like his brother's (a wild disaster), but was longer, almost reaching his shoulders, and had some red highlights that would sparkle handsomely whenever the sun would shine on him. He even had some of Lily's mannerisms, something James seemed to see as a direct act of defiance intended to insult Lily's memory.

His brother looked much more like their father. The same unruly hair, his nose and lips and his eyes, a nice brown colour. And he was much more interested in Quidditch and pranks – a perfect son.

Whereas Harry…well, he tried to be like his brother but he never found any friend to play games with. His father never took him outside to explain Quidditch to him and so he found a home in the library where his family never went. It became his home when he learned to read when he was four years old and found stories about fairies, unicorns and dragons. He loved every minute of it.

And his father would not see him until dinner. When they ate dinner his father would ask him to stay behind and then try to change his feature or at least his hair. Whenever his hair was cut it would just grow back over night, but James never stopped. He would cut his hair and try some charms that would change his face but the next day, his face would always be back to normal and his father hated him even more for that.

Today was another day like this. Harry sat quietly on his chair and ate a few bits of everything. His father and brother were talking about Quidditch, school, Quidditch, Jonathan's friends, Quidditch and everything else Jonathan wanted to talk about. James loved his older son. It hurt Harry every time he saw how much his father loved his brother and hated him.

Finally they finished eating and his father asked him, as usual, to stay behind. Jonathan walked out of the room, a smirk plastered across his face. He already knew that his brother would come out of the room with an ugly hair cut and some new charms across his face to make him look differently.

Harry just stood there and waited till his brother was out of the room so that his father could say his spells and he could go back to his room. But today, something was different.

His father put a silencing charm on the room, and locked the doors to be sure that Jonathan wouldn't enter. Normally he would just close the doors and begin charming Harry. But not today…

Harry didn't even see the fist until it connected with his nose and pain shot through his face. "If I'm not able to change you with magic, then maybe I will have to use muggles means".

While Harry was holding his broken nose and telling himself that crying wouldn't change a thing, his father took an old knife out of a kitchen drawer.

First Harry was really scared that he wouldn't only break his nose but also hurt him in other places, but his father just took a handful of his hair and cut it off.

But it wasn't the sharpest knife, so his father had to use more force than was necessary; he ended cutting into both the hair and his son's skin. Again, Harry told himself that it was only pain and that pain would go away. It was only a matter of time.

But before he could find out how long it would have taken him to stop hurting, his father's fist hit him again to make sure his nose was really broken. His vision blacked and Harry didn't know anything after that.

---

Harry woke up the next morning in his bed and found his hair back to normal and his nose healed perfectly. But when he looked into the mirror he saw the bruises covering his face, he shuddered. Even if his nose was back to normal and didn't hurt anymore, he couldn't stop wincing when he saw the bruise on his cheek. He looked at himself sadly, but before any tears could form he shook his head and turned away from the mirror.

But he couldn't stop the thought that crossed his mind before he walked into the bathroom. 'Maybe that will make father stop, when he sees that nothing helps.'

But hope was something that young Harry would learn to hate...

---

After that day, every evening James would break Harry's nose and cut his long hair (along with the thin skin of the boy's neck) until, about a month later, he at last saw that it was doing no good. Then he would just punch and kick Harry until the boy was unconscious and his frustration gone. But the last night James broke Harry's nose, the night he realised that it was all futile, something changed in Harry.

When he was standing in front of the mirror like all the other days and his nose was again straight and his hair again long, he finally broke down and cried silently on the hard floor, all the while muttering to himself.

"I don't want to look like my mum anymore. I don't want to look like my mum anymore. I'm sorry mummy, I love you and I'm sorry I killed you, but it just hurts too much to look like you. I don't want to look like you anymore, I'm sorry," he would murmur over and over again.

This day changed Harry not only in the inside but also on the outside. His face gradually looked more and more like that of his father and his hair became short and unruly like his brother's. Only his eyes wouldn't change.

But after a while, as his father found that reason enough to beat him, he began wearing glasses that were round and big and hid his eyes as much as possible behind the thick glass.

When his father asked why he was wearing glasses he just told him that the school nurse gave them to him because he needed glasses and his father didn't ask again. He wasn't beaten again for looking too much like his mother and he was thankful that his father wasn't interested at all in his school life.

So Harry again hoped that finally he would be left alone and wouldn't have to be careful what to wear to conceal the bruises. And of course, again he would be disappointed.

Because sometimes, when his father wanted to hurt him but didn't really have a reason to, he would beat him up for looking not like his mother anymore and how ungrateful he was for not remembering his mother. And Harry arrived to the conclusion that nothing would make his father love him. Nothing. But he still couldn't stop trying

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_What do you think of the first chapter? Liked it? Didn't like it that much? ;) Please review! Even if it's just a "I really like your story", because I really want to know what you are thinking, even if it just "It's a good story".  
Thanks a lot to animegurl088, lily was a marauder, flower123 and jka1 for their reviews! This chapter is for you :)_

_So ...thanks for reading!  
Chau,  
Sam :)_


	3. Chapter Two

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Thanks to searinox for all the work you've done! Thank you:)  
Samantha Aswad_

* * *

**_Chapter 2_**

_3 years later_

Harry was sitting in the library, quietly reading a book about potions. He loved this subject, he loved books about magic, and he loved the library - his haven. After years of living under the same roof as Jonathan and his father, his life hadn't become better. It had become even worse.

When Harry became so good at school that he just couldn't get better marks his father became angry at him again. For being better than his perfect brother. For being even better in some subjects than his mother had been as a child. And again he had to suffer the abuse. But this time his father wouldn't beat him physically, no.

He would use magic to make his youngest son suffer, telling Harry that he wouldn't want to touch him because he was full of sins and that no one would ever want to touch him in any way.

And it hurt. It hurt so much to hear these words because he knew that his father was right. He had no friends who would give him a hug or even just a handshake. The other children would avoid him so that no one would think that they liked him. Harry hadn't felt a nice touch since the first grade, when one of the teachers had ruffled his hair because of a homework well done.

The only touch he had felt in recent years was his father's fist.

From all the times James had cursed him, Harry thought that he probably knew now every curse and hex one could find in a book that wasn't Dark Arts. Of course, he didn't know them when they were cast on him, but later he would research the curses, look them up and find the best method to stop the pain or to repair any damage. He became really good at that.

But when he tried once, when he was seven, to borrow his father's wand to magically heal himself, he was cursed so badly that he hadn't been able to move for three days until some of the house elves could give him some potion to heal him.

Harry had instantly fallen in love with potions when he had seen that they could take his pain away. At first, he had been sceptic when the house elf gave him that bad-smelling and awful-looking drink. But after he could breath normally again and the pain nearly vanished he was so happy he even hugged the cup. After that day, he began reading more and more about potions.

It was something his father wouldn't know if he was careful because he didn't need anything his father would miss. And they were the only thing that made complete sense in a life that he just couldn't understand.

When he was younger it had been so easy. He killed his mother, it was his fault that Peter died and he was never good enough and didn't deserve a thing.

But then he was being beaten for being too good and he couldn't understand the world anymore.

He couldn't understand why his teachers loved him and told him how good he was while his father would say that he could do nothing right and that he'd be just a waste of space.

He couldn't understand why his brother was loved by nearly everyone and was so popular when he was always trying to beat Harry up or hurt him any other way.

And then they had begun to study the human body and how a child is born in his biology classes. The teacher told them that sometimes the mother died giving birth. And that this wasn't the fault of the child.

Never.

He even asked his teacher, who just looked at his a little strangely, if newborn babies were innocent. His teacher told him that they were.

Always.

And then he would go home and his father would say that it was his fault that his mother died.

Always.

And when he asked his father what it means to be innocent and if he'd ever been innocent, his father's answer was always the same.

Never.

And he couldn't understand the world anymore.

But then he found his potions. There, it was always the same. It wouldn't matter if you would make the potion in the cellar of his house or his school, you would always get the Draught of Living Death if you add powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood. You just have to use your logic and knowledge about the subject and your ingredients and it would work. It would make sense.

And in the hours of brewing a potion he would only have the potion. Nothing else would matter, not who he was or what he had done. It was just the cauldron, the ingredients, and him.

He loved potions.

And when his father used a cutting curse on him and wouldn't heal the cuts because they were on places his clothes would cover and no one would see them, he would wait until the blood would stop floating and then he could use a cream he had made and heal the cuts.

He loved potions.

But now that would be history. Harry would have to give up potions. At least, he thought to himself, it will only be for a year, and them I can have them back.

With a heavy sigh he closed the potions book he was reading. He looked sadly at the clock at the wall and closed his eyes. It was July and he would go and live with his aunt and uncle. His father had told him that the day before.

His brother would start his first year at Hogwarts, and his father had accepted the DADA- position at school. And Harry….Harry would live with his mother's sister and her family.

Harry had long ago given up hope oh finding someone who would care for him and maybe even love him like his father loved his brother. He was cold towards his father, his brother and the kids at school who made fun of him. But when he heard that he was going to live with his mum's sister…he couldn't help but hope that maybe they would accept him, and maybe even like him.

He hated to hope.

He hated hope because it was something that just wouldn't leave him alone even if it disappointed him so often.

And he hated himself for hoping.

---

Once, when he had heard that Dumbledore would be coming over, he had been full of hope. Hope that the older wizard would see what happened in this house and would help him. Take him away or maybe show his father that he was lovable. But nothing had happened.

Dumbledore hadn't noticed him. Hadn't even looked in his direction.

Harry hated him for that. For not helping him when everyone was always saying that Dumbledore knew everything and helped everyone. Dumbledore was supposed to be the best headmaster that Hogwarts had seen in many years and one of the finest wise men in wizarding history. He hated that Dumbledore only had eyes for Jonathan and James and hadn't even asked about him.

But he hated himself even more for hoping that things would somehow change.

And now he was hoping again.

Hoping that Aunt Petunia and his uncle and his cousin would like him, welcome him even. But even if he couldn't stop the hope inside of him, he could stop allowing any of his feelings to show on his face.

So he didn't even smile when his father told him that they were going. His father and Jonathan would go to Hogwarts so that James could start making lesson plans whatever else he need to do to prepare for the school year. And Jonathan went with him because… well, because he was the firstborn Potter, perfect Jonathan Potter who could do no wrong and was always right. And a spoiled, arrogant brat who would probably continue being a bully even in Hogwarts.

Harry didn't even allow himself to think about his birthday that had been three days earlier. His family had just completely ignored him (as usual). Of course, they wouldn't even think about getting Harry something for his birthday. At least Remus had sent him an owl with some chocolate and a new book about Potions. Sirius probably forgot about him like everyone else.

And he hated himself for crying because he had been disappointed. And he began hating hope even more with every passing day.

---

Harry was thinking about the man who was walking in front of him as they walked out of the house. He knew that he had no love left for his brother and he was fine with it. He was only his brother, nothing else, he could live with that and just ignored him.

But his father…

As Harry was carrying the heavy trunk along the way he closed his eyes as emotions flooded him.

He hated the man.

He hated him for hurting him so much and confusing him and never even trying to love him just because one day a scar decided to show up on his forehead.

But still…still he had the hope that his father was bringing him to his relatives so that he didn't have to be in Hogwarts watching all the older children do magic while he's not allowed. Hoped that his father gave him to Lily's family so that they would take care of him. And he just couldn't stop to hope that maybe miracles do happen.

Even for him.

And so it was a very scared and still-hopeful Harry that followed his father outside of the wards of their manor where they had been living for the past nine years.

And he already had the suspicion that he would later hate himself for hoping again.

He hated hope and still couldn't stop hoping.

* * *

He stood nervously behind his father and waited for someone to answer the door. They were in a typical, very normal neighbourhood. It seemed that all the houses were the same, all the gardens perfectly trimmed, and nothing out of the ordinary could ever happen here. 

Harry, a wizard, felt immensely out of place as he waited for his aunt or uncle to show up at the door.

Suddenly, he heard footsteps in the house and the next moment the door was opened and a very big man was standing inside the door. If Harry would be honest with himself, he was really expecting someone… less big.

But it didn't really bother him, because appearances weren't everything – he of all people would know that. He just hoped that his uncle wouldn't turn out to be as unfriendly as he looked at the moment.

"Hello, you must be Mister Dursley?" asked his father politely, and the man nodded and stepped aside to let them in. Harry looked again at the man, and couldn't stop thinking that the man wasn't really didn't look very nice; but maybe he just had a wrong first impression.

He never had before…

They stepped into a very tidy living room and set down on a coach. A woman Harry took to be Petunia, his aunt, was sitting in one of the chairs and looked at them closely.

She looked so different from any pictures he had seen of his mother that Harry was at first unsure if this was really his mum's sister. But there couldn't be any doubt, because his father greeted her with a small nod and said "Petunia," when he saw her. Again, his impression wasn't the best.

But before Harry could say anything, his father spoke. "I only want you to keep him here until next summer. I will come back on the 20th of July and take him back. I only ask you to make sure he goes to school, has a room to sleep in, and gets enough food. Whatever you see fit as punishments for when he misbehaves is your choice, but please be careful to not leave marks on his face or arms or where it is very easy to see. We don't need the Child Service to look into him. No permanent injuries, no starving him. It's harder to conceal malnourishment than a few scars on his back. I gave you enough money to pay for his food, so if there aren't anymore questions?"

His father was already standing by the last question and all Harry could do was watch his father in shock. Did he really just tell them what it sounded like he told them? But no, that couldn't be possible! Even his father couldn't hate him that much, could he? But from what he had told the Dursleys, it seemed that the only reason he hadn't disposed of his much-hated son was because it would cause the Wizarding world to wonder where the head auror's second son was. Harry shuddered at the thought.

But maybe he had gotten it all wrong, and everyone would laugh in a second and his father would say that it was all a joke, and now they would talk normally.

But the man who sired him was already out of the room and the next moment Harry heard the front door closing. Unsure, he looked at his new guardians. Somehow, the looks on their faces weren't telling him that his life was about to become any better.

* * *

_So...you liked it? I really hope you do, but you have to tell me, so I can be sure ;) Or tell me what you don't like, so I know what to avoid in future :)  
And here are the answers to you reviews...I love you guys, thanks alot!  
**dodoodoo:** Yes, they will...it's just a better of time, right? ;)  
**flower123:** I think Harry will have to live a long time with the abuse...that's what I really want to show...that it just doesn't go away as easy as some stories show it...even if it's nice as a reader when you think "Finally he is okay again". But that's mostly not true...sadly, it's not that easy and my Harry isn't a lucky guy, too...so you'll probably have to wait a long time till he really gets better...  
**jka1:** Thanks a lot for your big update! I'm glad that you like my story...but his change in appearance is really important for the plot, so I can't change that, even if I wanted to ;)...and well, he left the house now, right:)  
**shieldmaidenoferolingas:** I already answered you review, right? So just another big Thank you :)  
**Queen Selene I:** Well..here you go...he is no longer living with his family...but if it's that much better...we'll see ;)  
**only me:** Till someone finds out about Harry, we'll have too wait longer than most will probably like...but I really try to keep the other characters like they are and don't change them too much...  
**Cassandra M. Clearwater:** No thank you, I don't need a beta...I already have a good one..but thx for offering :)  
**Aamaya:** Lucas will attend Hogwarts...but we still have a bit to go till there...but don't forget your idea too fast...I mean, he is there for 7 years and a lot of things can happen in such a long time.  
**GooglePest:** No, Harry(Lucas ;)) isn't a metamorphogus...I wrote it thinking about "accidental" magic...if a child really wants something than it happens...and that's what happened with Harry. Just think about a Glamour of some sorts, ok:)_

_Thx also to vosbond and momocolady!  
Hope you liked that new chapter!  
Chau,  
Sam :)_


	4. Chapter Three

**_And still can't stop hoping_**

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_I'm sorry, that you had to wait soo long...but sometimes, real life is just too busy for our tastes ;) But I promise that if many review the next chapter will be up this weekend! And thanks again to searinox for your great work! Thank you:)  
Samantha Aswad_

* * *

**_Chapter 3_**

Harry had been in the Dursleys' house for just two weeks and he already hated it. But this time there wasn't a chance that he would let himself hope for a change. He had given that hope up the same night he had decided to not listen to his father anymore – even if it hurt.

He had hoped that his life would improve, but nothing had really changed. Instead of being at least able to hide in the library or learn more about potions, he had to work the whole day. And all his books were in Potter Manor and the Dursleys didn't have anything useful to read, not that he would have the time for that between chores. But on the bright sight, he wasn't hit or slapped. Not being physically hurt was a great improvement. There was still the emotional pain the Dursleys inflicted, though- he couldn't help but listen to the humiliating comments his "family" made.

No, instead he had to clean his fat cousin's room, the kitchen, the living room and just about everything that was possible to clean. But he had a room for himself (even if it was small and with lots of broken toys he wasn't allowed to throw out) and he got as much to eat as he wanted. But he felt more like a house elf than anything else at the moment.

Today his task was to clean the basement. He was, for once, not miserable as he was working. There were old things that were just interesting to look at even if he didn't really have the time to watch all the photos he found. He even put some extra care when cleaning an old mirror that stood forgotten in one of the corners of the room.

As he was dusting one of the boxes with his hands, the broomstick behind him fell suddenly with a loud "thud" to the ground and Harry jumped so hard that the box fell down and all the papers inside were thrown to the ground.

Harry sighed and sat down next to the box. It didn't take long to notice that they were all letters. He knew that he shouldn't read them because they obviously didn't belong to him or even concern him, but he was so curious that he glanced at each one as he stacked them neatly into the box. Halfway through, he saw something that made him stop. At the end of one of the letters was written in elegant script, "With love, Lily".

Harry sat there for over five minutes until he finally decided to read the letter. He had never had anything from his mum; he just remembered how, when he had been younger, he had always been punished because he looked too much like her. But then he'd grown up, and his resemblance to his mother had vanished.

Cautiously he unfolded the letter and read its contents.

_My beloved sister,_

_I know that you probably don't want to hear more from me but I write you anyway because I knew how curious you are. And I have really happy news… _

_I'M PREGNANT AGAIN! _

_I was so happy to find out that I'm again pregnant and again with a little baby boy. I can't wait till Lucas is here. _

_At this point Harry looked confused at the letter. Why Lucas? But then he just shrugged his shoulders and continued reading. Maybe they changed their minds later about his name. _

_I now that he will be a strong little boy, especially with his feet. He just loves to kick me when I have my hands on my stomach. I think he wants to show me that he's really here. Not that there is any doubt as I'm in the seventh month now.  
Like I already said…his name is Lucas, Lucas Harry Potter to be exact. You know that we named Jonathan after James and his middle name after our grandfather and so we named Lucas after my name and Harry after James grandfather Harrison.  
I now that he will be just a lovely boy and I will love him with all my heart. I don't think that anything could every change it._

_I hope to hear from you soon! Someone told me that you are also pregnant with a baby boy. Please tell me about it, Pety! Do you have a name yet? _

_With love,_

_Lily_

Harry never saw his own tears until they made his glasses blurry. Slowly he took them off and looked again at the letter. Carefully he folded it and put it into his jeans pocket while slowly standing up. As if in a trance, he walked over the newly-cleaned mirror and looked at himself.

His glasses were still in his hands and it already changed so much about his face. And then he remembered again the days when he had been beaten for looking too much like his mother. And how he wished that he wouldn't look like her anymore and the beatings stopped because his father wasn't always reminded of her when he saw him.

And now, as he was looking at himself, he wondered if that was the reason why he felt sometimes so uncomfortable in his own skin. Because it wasn't really his, not like it was meant to be. But there was only one way to find out if his suspicious was correct.

He closed his eyes and thought that he wanted to look more like his mother. No, that felt wrong. He wanted to look how his mother wanted him, like he really was. That's it.

And as he opened his eyes he looked into the face of a stranger. A face he didn't seen in a very long time but which felt more familiar than his other face ever had. His hair was tame, and now a few strands that normally stood high in the air were falling into his face, hiding the scar on his forehead. His eyes looked much bigger and more intense without the glasses and his face was finer, his cheekbones higher. Even his nose and lips were different even if he couldn't say what made them different.

He softly touched his face but he let his hand fall as if burned as his aunt's voice screamed that he should make lunch. With a last look at his face he closed his eyes and thought about looking like before again and as he opened his eyes he saw the face of the familiar stranger looking back at him.

With a last sigh and a longing glance to the mirror, he made his way up to the kitchen. But as his fingers found the letter in his pocket he couldn't help but smile.

At least his mother had loved him.

* * *

Harry stood nervously in front of his new class. His aunt and uncle probably only let him out of the house because his da…_James_ had said that it was necessary. Otherwise, he'd probably still scrub the kitchen floor.

School started today and only for today his aunt and uncle brought him here with his cousin. With the words 'You have to remember the way by yourself and we won't pay the bus ticket for you,' they had driven him and Dudley to school. Dudley would take the bus the next time. He of course got his bus ticket, because he was the _perfect son. _

Harry was pretty sure that they could have taken the money from what James gave them but they probably wanted to have it for themselves. Harry didn't have any illusions that he was totally unwelcome and the absolutely normal house of the Dursleys. But it wasn't really his choice to stay there and now he had really other problems to worry about.

School. With lots of children. And Harry had absolutely no idea how to interact with them. He would thank his brother for that next time he saw him.

But then he banished his sarcastic thoughts and eyed his new class curiously but also a little bit unsure. Maybe there **was** a friend for him somewhere…

Immediately following that thought he was scolding himself for hoping that he may find a friend. He never had friends, and if he allowed himself to hope that it was a possibility, he would only get hurt.

He really should know better by now, but still…

Who could blame a ten year old about wanting to have a friend? He told himself that everyone would probably hate him like everyone else but still there was this hope that just wouldn't leave him alone, that he may be wrong. Maybe a friend was just waiting for him.

Sadly, his cousin had probably already told everyone in his class what a freak his cousin was. Dudley usually called Harry "Freak," but sometimes he would think about some other words to call him – none of them were friendly, and most of them oughtn't to have been in Dudley's vocabulary at all.

At first it had hurt that his own cousin thought of him as a freak but when Harry understood that his cousin hated him so much because he was a wizard, he could ignore the comments. He just told himself over and over again that there were a lot of people like him and not all were freaks.

But it wouldn't stop the tears that sometimes came at night.

Finally, the class started and everyone was looking at him. Some were looking interested and some, like Dudley and his friends, already hateful. Harry just hoped that Dudley would leave him at least alone.

Harry **really** should give up hoping.

---

It was lunch break of his first day in school and he already hated it. He hated Dudley and his friends for trying to beat up the boy that had wanted to get to know him. He hated the boy for being so weak and just running away just after Dudley told him that he would regret it. He hated the other children for being so frightened of a few boys and for ignoring him. He hated the teachers for not seeing what happened in their own school.

And he hated himself for hoping.

And as he stood alone in one of the corners of the school playground he really began to hate hope. He began hating the laughing children and how they would talk and play with their friends. Would hate how they were so happy without a care in the world.

And because he didn't want to cry just because he wasn't like everyone else, didn't have a friend like everyone else, he began hating friendship.

Firmly, he told himself that he would never need a friend. There just weren't any friends for him in the world, and he should just accept that and get over it. That's what he had been doing for all of his prior life, after all.

And so he shot a last, dark look at the carefree children before taking out a school book and began to study.

He didn't need friends.

He didn't.

And maybe, if he would keep repeating it, he'd believe it someday.

He didn't need friends.

* * *

_So...here is finally the third chapter. Liked it? Didn't like it? **Please review!**_

_** Galleon-to-Galleon:** yes, there will be Slash, but you have to wait really, really long for that, because Lucas is only 10 right now...and he needs a bit time to "grow up", don't you thing ;) _

_** LooneyLoopeyLupin:** Ah yes...the BWL-thing...I fear that this topic won't be discused for a really long time because it doesn't really matter that much in this story..._

_** HarbringerLady:** Dark side...what is the Dark side? He won't be "light" that for sure but what exactly he will become...I think, we'll just have to wait and see...and review, of course ;)_

_** grincat :** Yes...Lilys opinion would be really interesting, but I think, everyone can guess, that she wouldn't be "very happy" with James..._

_** jka1:** I just tell you one thing...one of your wishes will come true...but which one...you'll see in the next chapter, I promise ;)_

_** flower123:** What I will tell you, that yes, he is going to Hogwarts... but in which house he will be in, is still a surprise ;)_

_Thanks also to momocolady and visbond for their reviews!_

_So ...thanks for reading!  
Chau,  
Sam :)_


	5. Chapter Four

**_And still can't stop hoping_**

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_I'm sorry, that you had to wait soo long...but sometimes, real life is just too busy for our tastes ;) But I promise that if many review the next chapter will be up this weekend! And thanks again to searinox for your great work! Thank you:)  
Samantha Aswad_

* * *

**_Chapter 4_**

It was a weekend like any other. The sun was shining, children were running down the street laughing and birds were flying around and singing happily. Harry didn't know which he hated more. Well…he knew. The children. At least the sun was shining for everyone the same and the birds couldn't care less what a human like him would do.

He was in his room, just looking out of the window. He couldn't really look anywhere else - when he would move just a bit, his back would kill him. Harry snorted a bit when he thought that Vernon had really listened to James.

He never hit Harry anywhere besides the back, but he always struck with more force and more frequency than even James.

James…his _father_.

Probably one of the men that every child thought to be the perfect dad. Being one of the best auror in wizard history and now teaching at one of the most famous schools in the world he himself had graduated with a silk ribbon of excellence. And of course he had to be a cool dad if he teaches Defence Against the dark Arts mostly because of the fact that his first born son started school.

Yes…everyone would **love** to have a father like James Potter.

Harry snorted at the thought.

He would give everything to just get another one…or just be by himself. It wouldn't really be that a big difference, only that it would be official.

To be his own _father_. His own family, because he didn't really need anyone else. His back could confirm that.

As he looked again outside he watched the birds longingly. To be as free as them, to be as carefree…he wanted to be a bird. Maybe then he would be free. Maybe just a little bit.

The warm October sun was slowly sinking down. The light became dimmer, the air colder, and Harry couldn't stop thinking.

His face was as though set in stone, and didn't give any indication as to what he was thinking. School had done that to him. When no one wanted to become his friend, he became everyone's enemy. Dudley and his group tried to beat him up, the other boys wanted to look good in their eyes, and the embarrassing pranks had begun.

When he went to eat lunch on a table, he would suddenly find himself on the floor, the meal in front of him on the ground. When he wanted to just go to the loo, some would somehow look the door so that he'd be late for classes. And when he got again the best marks in a test they would send him hateful and envying looks.

Or at least that was what happened the first month. After that, Harry became worse and worse till he wasn't even better than Dudley. And that's how he wanted it. His uncle wouldn't be mad at him for being better than perfect Dudley and wouldn't take out his belt.

But in reality he spent more and more time in the library of the school, and even if the books were not about magic, they let him understand more about animals, geography and other cultures and languages. And always when Vernon would ask him why he stayed so long in school he could tell him that the teachers let him stay behind to help him with his classes.

And this would satisfy Vernon immensely, because it would mean that his own son was so much better. And as long as Harry wouldn't do anything like being better than Dudley, he would stay bruise free. As long as nothing strange happened around him, he wouldn't fall down the stairs with a little help. But he was a wizard and he couldn't stop the accidental magic that sometimes happened.

It was as if his magic tried to do exactly what he would like to do but would never dare.

When he was thinking about how his teacher was so unfair when he gave him more homework than anyone else and told everyone in his class how bad he was, his face was a stony mask.

But his magic was free and wild and changed the teacher's hair blue.  
And when he went to school the next day some of his bruises nearly had the same colour.

And when he only wanted to escape from Dudley and his friend, he didn't mean to apparate to the roof of the school- he had only tried to hide behind some bushes, and the closest thing to magic on his mind was his wish for a notice-me-not charm.

Even this charm wouldn't have helped him as his uncle belt came crashing down on his back again and again. And the words were repeated over and over again: how they didn't want a freak in their home, how they didn't want him to infect their perfect Dudley with his freakishness.

But as Harry was now sitting in his room and looking out of his window he just wanted to forget about that. He was just thankful to know that magic was a gift, and he would never want to loose it- or who knows how he would react to his uncle's hurtful words.

He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if he had grown up in this house. He'd probably hate himself and would have hated magic. Yes, he was thankful to have at least the knowledge that he was better than them.

But he didn't want to think that much at the moment. Didn't want to think about his lonely life where his only company were the books that didn't judge him but taught him like everyone else who was interested their knowledge.

He didn't want to think about the children in school, Dudley and his gang, his Uncle, or his father. Least of all of his father and brother. So he just stared out of the window and watched the birds.

For a while, two birds had been singing in a tree near the window, but then they had flown away. Harry sighed. He just wished he could be as free as them. To just walk away from Privet Drive and never had to suffer again from the abuse from Vernon. Today had been especially bad because he had gotten, by chance, better marks on a test that Dudley AND had done some accidental magic

His back was still bleeding a little bit.

He really just wanted to get away from everything.

And then a small part of him asked, _why not?_

Why couldn't he just walk away and just come back one or two days before James would come to pick him up?

_Why indeed. _

His eyes hardened and silent determination grew in him as he began writing a letter to the Dursleys. It would make sure that they wouldn't try to contact his father so he would search for him. He didn't want that. He just wanted to be left alone, but even that was so often too much to ask for.

Harry wrote and after a half hour his letter was finished.

_Dear family, _

_If you read this letter it means that my attempt was successful and I have run away from your house. I don't want to see you ever again but I know that I'll have to.  
I'll be back on the 15th of July, a few days before my father comes to pick me up. _

_I think that it's in your interest as well as mine to not tell him that I've run away because then you would be the receiving end of his magic and hexes and you don't want **that**, do you? And he would also make you to take me back after that and we all know how much you'd like to do that. _

_Till the 15th of July,  
Harry  
(Your nephew, if you don't remember my name)_

Harry nodded satisfied to the letter and then looked outside again. The birds were long gone and the sun was sending just its last sunrays to his window. Soon, he would be also gone from his place, soon.

And he remembered back the day when he found his mothers letter. He would be able to be himself…no one will recognize him without glasses and his different face. He would be himself.

And he would use the name his mother gave him. The name the only person that had ever loved him, even if he hadn't been born at the time, had given him. He could be Lucas again.

Not freak. Not a burden. Not an unwelcome son in a large house. He would do what he wanted and no one will be able to hurt him with words. Because they wouldn't be his family…he had no family left.

He looked down on the letter on his desk and nodded again to himself. He would be gone but the Dursleys should at least know why they would wait in vain on Monday for him to come back from school.

And the sun went down and the world became dark.

* * *

Finally it was Monday. Like every Monday, Vernon kissed his wife and son goodbye, threw a hateful glance to the other living being in the house and drove to work. Like every Monday, Harry had to wash the dishes after breakfast while Petunia would help Dudley with some last things.

Like pack Dudley's backpack with the books he'd need that day. Like helping him with his clothes, because he wouldn't be able to tie his shoes or even get the shirt above his head.

Harry had more or less ten minutes to wash the dishes and take some money from the Dursleys. It wouldn't actually be stealing because his father had given them the money to take care of him. But after today, he would take care of himself and so it was his right to take the money.

He tiptoed upstairs and into the room his uncle and aunt shared. He found the money just after looking through some drawers and took more than half of it. He shook his head thinking about how easy it was to find money in the house. But he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth- he was glad that they hadn't hidden the funds more carefully.

After his mission was accomplished, he sneaked back downstairs and began washing the dishes. He just finished when his aunt and Dudley came down.

Five minutes later, he had his backpack and walked down the street. Only it wasn't his normal street to go to school and in his backpack weren't any schoolbooks.

He had money, as much food as possible, and a plan of London and he would run away today.

With a lighter stride he walked out of Surrey and into freedom, or so he hoped.

Would he never learn his lesson about hope?

* * *

_So...here is the fourth chapter. A bit later than I would have liked, but here it is :). And now you'll probably see why we still have a few chapters to go till Lucas goes to Hogwarts..._

_But even more interesting is your opinion! Liked it? Didn't like it? **Please review!**_

_** Galleon-to-Galleon:** I already answered you, so just another...Thank you:)_

_** Aamaya:** I hope that was soon enough... :) And hope to hear more from you:)_

_** alwaysariyana:** Just so you know...there won't be Severus/Harry-Slash...sorry. And the whole romance will start much, much later...I mean, the kid is 10! ;)_

_** LadyNightSky:** Thanks for your huge compliment :) I hope, you still think the same :)_

_** jka1:** now you know which wish comes true...he ran away :) About your other wishes...we'll see..._

_** Page:** I must admit, that I never even heard from the "Unfortunate Events" books...but I'll see, if they can find and read them :) And yes, Harry will get the letter but he won't stay with the Dursleys...because now, James had a good reason for Harry to be there but he won't be able to use it for next year and people WOULD talk...and that's the last thing he wants._

_** vampirelf:** your guess is correct, but...why do you think, he WILL have friends...?_

_** flower123:** Till he goes to Hogwarts, we still have a lot to read more you aren't that far off...Slytherin will be at least one of the possible houses (Hufflepuff isn't...just so you know ;))_

_Thanks also to momocolady, lily was a marauder, imakeeper, MSII and PantherHorse for their reviews!  
You are all the best!_

_So ...thanks for reading and hope to see you soon :)!  
Chau,  
Sam :)_


	6. Chapter Five

**_And still can't stop hoping_**

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_I'm sorry, again, that you had to wait soo long...but first I was on vacaciones and then my beta reader had problems with his mail so I had to wait really long to get my chapter back...but here it is, so...Have fun:)  
Samantha Aswad_

* * *

**_Chapter 5_**

He cursed, stumbled and cursed again. He was hungry, he was cold and above all he just wanted a place to stay.

He never thought it would be so hard to get a place to stay. He even had the money!

But no. "Where are your parents, dear?" "Oh, I'm sorry young man, but without your father here, I can't give you a room." And so on and on…why was it so damn difficult?

In the beginning, he had at least money and could tell say about his dad wanting him to stay here just for this night but after three weeks of going from one hotel to the next, he just couldn't find anywhere he hadn't been yet. And he didn't want to sleep in the really expensive ones, because he didn't have that much money.

Harry- or Lucas, as he now called himself with very good reason- was walking down another street. He was hungry again, but didn't want to eat yet because he didn't know how long he will have to live from the money he had.

He looked already a bit like a street kid because he didn't change his clothes that often and they were already dirty. But thankfully that only helped to set him apart from James Potter's son. Because the head auror's sons were always perfectly clothed…or at least the one that left the house.

Lucas looked like himself now. When he had been far way from Privet Drive he'd gone to a restroom in a McDonalds and changed his appearances again. After he made sure that no one was there anymore, he also applied the make-up over his scar so that it was perfectly invisible if you didn't know that it was there.

But now he didn't know what he was supposed to do. It had seemed so easy. Just run away, like the birds. But with his wonderful luck he wasn't a bird. He couldn't just live off of berries and worms (not that he wanted to, thank you very much) and couldn't just sleep in a tree

Lucas just looked for a short second to the buildings on the left and then leaned on a wall. Or so he thought…

Suddenly a door behind him opened and he could only saw the sign "The Leaky Cauldron" before he fell into the pub.

An older man looked down on him. "Oh…sorry kid, didn't know that I opened that door with so much force," and helped him up.

"It's okay Sir. Thank you for helping me u,p" answered Lucas and looked into the pub behind him. He was thankful that the man thought he had pushed him over. He didn't want to think what the people would have thought if he had landed in the pub face first.

"Where is your family, lad?" Lucas looked up to the man and thought of a good excuse. But then he looked again into the pub and saw that all people were dress in robes or other non-muggle clothes.

He thanked his lucky star (which normally wasn't very bright). First, because he looked so different from James Potter now or everyone would have made the connection; and also because he now knew exactly where he was. How could he forget about the Leaking Cauldron? His father mentioned the name more than once when he talked about the wizard world.

His brother had mentioned the pub also a lot of times. He always loved it because it was the perfect place for getting a lot of attention as the head auror's firstborn son. He always had Harry told how great everything looked like and how much he liked it.

And that Harry would never see it until he had to get his wand.

Just then Harry remembered the man, still staring down on him. "Oh, sorry, sir", he said and thought fast. "They are already in Diagon Alley. I'm a bit late and they probably already went to Gringotts." Lucas hoped that he remembered the name of the bank correctly and the man would buy it.

It seemed that that day was his lucky day. First he'd found the Leaking Cauldron by chance and now that man was telling him that he would open the doorway to Diagon Alley for him. Lucas didn't really know why he couldn't just open the door by himself but stayed quiet. Because…to be honest, he had absolutely no idea how to get to Diagon Alley.

Finally they stopped in front of a stone wall outside of the pub and for a second Lucas thought that the man maybe wasn't so nice and he shouldn't have just followed him…

But then the man took out his wand and touched some stones in the wall and suddenly a doorway was opened.

Harry could just barely suppress the marvelling face that wanted to show itself but he knew that it would make the man suspicious. So he just thanked the man for opening the doorway and stepped through.

After the doorway closed behind him he didn't even try to stop the smile forming on his lips. Diagon Alley was fantastic!

He, of course, had seen pictures of it in some of the books, but this was just beautiful and so, so…magical! His smile widened in view of that much magic and it felt like the sun was bathing him with warmth. He really had missed magic.

Slowly he walked through the Alley and looked left and right, trying to take everything in at the same time. He had read about Diagon Alley…but reading and seeing it was something totally different! Sometimes even he knew, that books can do everything. And that was one of these moments.

Lucas smiled and continued walking along the streets, looking in different shops and just enjoying the moment.

So the next hours where spent walking around, looking at everything that he could possibly see and some things, you couldn't (The Invisible Book – how to make yourself unseen), eating ice cream, looking around some more and…getting lost.

Hopelessly.

It was getting dark, but Lucas thought that the alley he was in was even darker than it should be. There weren't so many people as when he arrived at Diagon Alley and the shops were less friendly looking. Most were of brown, grey and black colour and there weren't many things to look at in the shop windows.

Slowly he looked around, his arms around his backpack to make sure it was still where it was meant to be and walked a little bit more.

Then something let his eyes lit up. A potions shop! He walked faster to the building in the middle of this dark alley and walked in, the dark forbidden alley just outside, totally forgotten.

The smell here wasn't so bad like in the other potion shop he had been before. But there, the shop man had been pretty unfriendly and the shop stank of all possible potions ingredients. He couldn't even understand why all first years had to buy their potion things in the same shop. It had been a disgusting shop.

But this shop…he liked it. It was dark, but the walls were made of a dark wood and the stone floor was clean and dry. You could just find some ingredients to look at and another door behind the counter probably went to the storerooms which contain the more delicate ingredients.

Perfect.

At least there was one potion shop owner who was thinking logically and knew that ingredients weren't meant to be stared at. He really couldn't understand the other shop owner to allow his ingredients to be touched by anyone who would walk into the shop.

Suddenly, someone cleared his throat behind him and he came face to face with a man. He wasn't very tall and from normal built. He had dark eyes behind glasses, dark hair and barely tanned skin. If Lucas had to describe the man, he would say he looked totally normal, totally inconspicuous.

You'd forget him in a heartbeat after a brief visit to buy some ingredients.

"How can I help you, young man? This isn't really the place for small children like you to play." Lucas didn't want to be called small, but when he wanted to reply, he just couldn't open his mouth. And he just couldn't break the eye contact with the man.

Lucas thought that maybe he should have stayed with his family and shouldn't have run away and suddenly the eye contact was broken and the man passed by.

"Ah…I see. So you are looking for a place to stay?" he asked with a dark voice, seemly totally uninterested.

"How do you know that?" asked Lucas suspiciously. "Just a thought that crossed my mind," answered the older man, because he wasn't the youngest anymore, Lucas saw now.

In the light of the counter he couldn't help but see the crinkles around his eyes and his mouth and the bony hands. He had to be about 80 years old, maybe even older.

"And you would let me stay here?" Lucas asked slowly as if weighing this offer. In reality he didn't have anywhere else to go but outside again and maybe book a room in the Leaking Cauldron for a few nights.

And he really wanted to stop walking and trying to find somewhere to stay, because he knew that the pub owner wouldn't let him stay more than a few nights without wanting to know where his parents were.

"I could need someone to help with the ingredients and maybe, if you are not a total imbecile, brewing some of the easiest potions that are still needed pretty often," was the bored answer.

At least the man made it clear that he couldn't care less one way or the other.

"What could you give me, if I accept?" Lucas asked.

"A room with a bed; I fear you would have to share the bathroom with me. Three meals a day", he said with some amusement, "and maybe 1 Galleon per week; it depends on how good you are working."

Lucas just thought for a second about the offer and than held his hand out.

"Lucas is my name, and I accept you offer, Mister…"

The man took the offered hand and shook it. "Mallory, Boris Mallory", a small smile on his lips.

* * *

_So...here is finally the third chapter. Liked it? Didn't like it? **Please review!**_

_** Galleon-to-Galleon:** Ah yes... I thought it'd be nice if he isn't caught (yet? ;)). And thx for ur long review! You are great :) And no, it won't mess up (more than before) with the timeline...His brother was born a year earlier them him...his class mates are still the same :)_

_** jka1:** Just to calm you down a bit...Lucas won't kill himself, alright? And he never will, okay? Because in my story he is one of these people who always stand up again, it doesn't matter what happens! (What doesn't mean that he won't be down...)_

_** flower123:** Now you know who he ran into :) But someone else will come soon..._

_** Fae Child19:** Yes...I hope so but it's never that easy because even if someone cares for him...it doesn't mean that he will accept it..._

_** Noemi:** Thx a lot for ur review! It means a lot to me that people like my story :)_

_** pixy:** He will...it'll be better, I promise :) (but not, that it will always happy)_

_** imakeeper:** lol sorry...but you have to wait for that...and like I said...Slash will be much, much later, so relax ;) But I fear he won't go to Hufflepuff...Lucas is too distrustful for that, sorry :)_

_** Isabel :** Sorry, but this Harry won't have any piercings or anything like that...sorry ;) And he will go to Hogwarts, he can't really change that..._

_** RStone8:** Thx for ur review! I hope you enjoyed that chapter, too :)_

_** Meow-Fairy:** Thanks sooo much for your review! I'm so interested in reading your opinion...thx a lot for that!_

_** momocolady:** Thx :)_

_** LadyNightSky:** Thank you soo much for your great praise! I hope you liked that chapter, too :) But yes...something bad always happens sooner or later..._

_** Aamaya:** Thx! And I really try to do something different so that you'll be surprised as often as possible ;). Hope you liked it, because that is the break you were asking for :)_

_** ginyginger:** It's not going to be too awful...now is a nice little break for dear Lucas, so enjoy :)_

_** vampirelf:** Why does everyone thinks that something is going to be wrong? Relax, people...I can be nice, too ;) And there are already enough "The horrible orphanage"-stories out there. But your other tip wasn't to bad :)_

_** bookworm622:** Don't blame Moond and Padfoot that much...especially Moony...he isn't that often there to really see something...because when he is there he is more happy to see James...and Padfoot is already in love with Jonathan to really see that something is wrong with Lucas...but someday they'll know the truth, don't worry :)_

_16 REVIEWS! God, I love you guys! Thanks sooo much for your reviews and I promise, that if you update soon that the next one is gonna be online on Sunday! So hope I read your opinions soon!_

_So ...thanks a lot for reading!  
Chau,  
Sam :)_


	7. Chapter Six

**_And still can't stop hoping_**

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Here is the new chapter and it's even a longer one! Thanks so much for the many reviews!  
Sam :)_

* * *

**_Chapter 6_**

Lucas looked proudly up over his potion at Boris. The old man gave a small smile and nodded. His potion was perfect- as in absolutely perfect, and finally could be sold in the shop.

Lucas had been in the shop for only three weeks now, but had already learned a lot: how to slice and prepare the ingredients perfectly; how to weight them properly; and how to make a few simple potions from memory. Even if he had made potions before, he only knew how to do them from books. And books didn't really explained how to slice, cut or chop them or what the difference was.

Or how you could do some things so much easier or where you needed to be more careful than the book said. Because books like that were meant to be read by people who already learned how to slice and weigh the ingredients.

And so even if his old potions worked, they weren't perfect. They would need more time than described to help him, or sometimes would not completely close whatever wound he was trying to heal. They would be off-colour just a bit, but before, he hadn't really seen the difference between sky blue and light blue. He learned more and more everyday, and was really thankful that he had found this place.

And Boris, as he was allowed to call the older man, helped him a lot and encouraged him to make a potion again, even if it was nearly perfect. Because like he said, nearly perfect still isn't perfect. And he was right. Harry found himself practicing potions over and over again so that they'd be _perfect_.

And now, after days of trying to make a warming lotion (which would help cold hands), it was finished. He'd tried it four times and always there was something small amiss. So small, that probably no one would have noticed it, but Boris had insisted anyway that he tried it again and again.

"Perfect", said the older man behind him and Lucas allowed himself a small smile. Boris wasn't a really warm man, but he didn't hate Lucas and even seemed to appreciate his help.

Sometimes they wouldn't talk for days and then they would discuss a potion for over three hours. And Lucas liked that, a lot.

Because he wasn't really used to talking that much with someone else and it was good starting with only a few hours a day before he would go to Hogwarts. Hogwarts was famous for the never-ending talks and discussion.

Lucas couldn't wait any longer to go to Hogwarts, but at the same time he was scared.

Scared that it would be like any other school and he would be the loner again.

Lucas shook his head and thought of happier things. Like his life here. It was the first thing he could really could call a happy memory because nothing bad had happened to him while here. Still he couldn't help but think _'yet…' _

But here, Lucas was happy. Not like smiling-all-the-same happiness, but a nice contentment. Because he knew that he lived with someone who wouldn't hurt him and didn't lie to him.

He liked Boris.

True to his word, Boris gave Lucas three meals a day, a nice room and a warm bed to sleep in. He didn't even want to think about what would have happened if he hadn't found this place.

It was November now and it was getting colder and colder every day. But he knew that even if he was cold when he was wandering outside in his new winter cloak ('I don't want to loose my help just when I found it', Boris had said), he would be in a warm room when he was back with Boris.

But he still couldn't really trust him.

Know that Boris wouldn't hurt him?

Yes.

Trust him?

No.

He couldn't trust the man, not really…it was more of a knowing feeling in him that he was sure that the man wouldn't hurt him and that was enough for Lucas.

Well…in the beginning he was really distrustful, especially since Boris always seemed to know exactly what Lucas was thinking.

After a while, he noticed that Boris only knew things when they stared in each other's eyes or just looked for a few moments at each other. Lucas started to avoid looking Boris in the eyes so that the man couldn't read his thoughts anymore, because that was what he was apparently doing.

He didn't know how Boris did it or even why. He didn't care and just wanted his thoughts for himself so he was more careful. But he thought that Boris knew what he was doing, because one time he had looked nearly proudly at him.

Lucas tried to remember if he ever had read anything about mind-reading or such things, but couldn't remember even hearing from it. And none of Boris' books had any information on the subject. Lucas started to think that he would just have to avoid eye-contact with the man forever.

But a few days ago, he had been wandering through Knockturn Alley and had seen a bookshop.

Because he hadn't read a new potions book in some time and hoped that perhaps something in the shop would mention mind-reading, Lucas decided to walk into the store.

And he found exactly what he was looking for.

There had been many interesting books in the shop, and Lucas had had a hard time prying himself away from the potions section. But then he had found it- that ONE book that would teach him how to help himself: _How to Close Your Mind Against Magic. _

He wasn't really angry with Boris because normally a ten year old wouldn't have that many memories he wanted to hide.

But he did.

A lot of them.

Because his name wasn't just Lucas, but Lucas Harry Potter, and Potter was a very important name in the wizarding world. And he wasn't only a Potter, no he was an ab…no, he still couldn't say or even think the word in context with his own past.

Of course he had seen in the muggle newspapers about parents being sent to prison because they had hurt, _abused_, their children. But he just couldn't bring himself to think of the possibility that **he** had been… At least he could admit to himself, only to himself, that neither his father nor his relatives treated him like they should.

No…it was better when he stayed Lucas and no one would ever know about his past.

Just Lucas.

Shaking his head, he remembered how hard it had been to buy the book. First the clerk hadn't wanted to sell him the book, but after a few minutes of negotiating he finally had got it after saying that he had to buy that book for Master Mallory. He had started reading it right away and had finished it the next night. Since then, he began working hard to erect mental walls and it seemed that he succeeded more and more every day.

In the beginning, it had been so strange to think behind his "thinking area". But now it became easier and easier to think behind thinking. It was really strange to explain and he still had problems sometimes understanding the book completely, like when it talked about mist, darkness or clouds in the front of your thoughts, but someone he managed it.

He just hoped that he would succeed totally before Boris found out he was a Potter. He wanted that to stay a secret as long as possible, hopefully even forever.

"You can leave the potion for a few hours and fill it up later", said Boris suddenly and Lucas nodded, thankful that he hadn't jumped.

"If you're up to it, you can try this on next", the older man said, gave him a book with a marked page and went back to the shop. Lucas always worked in a workroom that was two doors from the saleroom, where Boris nowadays worked.

Boris still came and brewed potions but thankfully not the small and easy once anymore because Lucas would do them for him now. So Boris had at least a bit more time for himself and Lucas enjoyed his time in the laboratory immensely.

Lucas looked at the book in his hands, opened to the marked page, and found a sleep potion which would give the drinker a nice dream. It was, the book said, to be taken to avoid nightmares. Lucas looked up quickly, but Boris wasn't there. But he couldn't stop thinking that maybe he **had** screamed in his sleep again.

Lucas had nightmares more often than not, but he hadn't screamed anymore when he had been at the Dursleys. Vernon Dursley's belt had seen to that. And so he had tried to tell himself before sleeping to not cry out in his dreams, and it had always worked.

But now, Boris gave him **this** potion… that was so much harder than the others. Lucas shook his head and thought that maybe it was just a coincidence.

He didn't believed in coincidences.

With a last sigh and the decision that he couldn't change anything, even if Boris knew that he had nightmares, he walked slowly up to his room.

And before he began thinking about how to make the potion best, he just hoped that he at least hadn't screamed any names in his dreams.

A few days later he tried the sleep potion. He had repeated it many times in his head, memorized every step and looked up all ingredients he would need, because he wanted to do the potion right on his first try. And it **was** by far more difficult than the other potions he had brewed.

Before he began, he put his hair into a ponytail, because it had grown so much over the last months that it was now a bit over his shoulders. A small hair-growing potion might also have helped a little.

He didn't even notice when Boris came into the room when he was halfway through the potion. He had prepared the ingredients slowly and with much care so that they would be perfect, and now he only glanced at the book to read the same things he'd memorized days earlier.

But then he came to one point where he was supposed to put in three frog legs and immediately after that one ground grain weevil and then stir the potion four times clockwise. But something in him was urging him to stir it four times clockwise and put the frog legs in the potion when he was stirring and the grain weevil together with the last frog leg.

In this moment he couldn't really remember how exactly the ingredients would react to each other- but he was at least sure that no explosion would follow. But should he follow his feelings?

Unsure, he was looking into the potion and jumped when Boris suddenly moved. "What is wrong?" Lucas looked up and chewed on his lower lip. "The book says to put in the frog legs, than the ground grain weevil and after that to stir it four times clockwise, but I think that I should put the frog legs into the potion while I'm stirring the potion and the grain weevil together with the last frog leg. What do you think?"

Boris looked at him for a moment and then just nodded. "Do what you think you should do. If it doesn't work out the way you hope for, you can always try again. I wouldn't even have expected you to get this far your very first time through…" he trailed off and with a last 'Good luck' he was out of the room.

Lucas looked again at the book, at the potion, and then closed his eyes. Even if Boris didn't really say anything like he would trust him, he did say in a subtle way that it wouldn't better if it wouldn't work.

"Well…let's try it then", he said to himself and followed his feelings…

* * *

"That is even better than perfect, Lucas! Excellent! I see you followed your feeling?" Boris asked and fixed him with one of his sharp stares. "Yes", answered Lucas smiling and didn't even care if Boris read his thought at the moment.

The potion had turned out to be perfect. Like in perfect, absolutely perfect. Lucas was so proud of himself that he didn't see the calculated stare the older man gave him, before he was nodding to himself.

"Excellent, Lucas. I hope you still like making potions because there are some others I'd really need for the shop…" He trailed off not even needing to finish his sentence. The boy loved potions and he was blessed with such talents for the subtle art.

After that day, Lucas began making more and more potions. First the still easier once that they only sold because most adult wizards just don't have the time to make them or aren't very keen on making them. But after a few weeks he started doing more and more advanced potions work and even his perfectly-made Sleep potion looked sometimes easy in comparison.

It didn't mean that there weren't spoiled potions or some smaller (and one really big) explosions, but his success were outweighing the failures by far.

But the best of all was not only that Lucas could successfully do what he wanted most, but also that he finally found a place where he could be himself without his brother overshadowing him and his father hating him.

Here he could be himself, really good at something and no one would hit him for being better than his brother or cousin. Instead of that, he would see sometimes the proud glance in Boris' looks and it made him feel even better.

And then, on the first weekend of March, a tall, dark haired man with a prominent nose entered the Potion Shop looking for some ingredients for his students at Hogwarts…

* * *

_So...that was chapter six. Liked it? What do you think now of Boris? And of course everyone knows who is the dark haired man, right? ;)**Please review!**_

_** DebsTheSnapeFan:** Thx for your review! but he doesn't need the potion anymore..and like I tried to show...Lucas did know a lot about potions but didn't brew that many before...I don't want to show potions as easy as some other fanfictions did...But thx for the idea and the review!_

_** momocolady:** Thx! Hope you liked that chapter, too :)_

_** vampirelf:** I like it when people expect other things ;) But it doesn't mean that murphy's law won't appear later...sorry_

_** LegalAlien1:** Thx a good question...but I think that wizards think that they don't need child services...because magical children are so important to them so no one really expect someone (especially James) to abuse their children..._

_** Snitch713-713:** I think this chapter answered your question...he is a good guy :)_

_** Varnalesa:** Thx for the huge compliment! I hope I won't disappoint you :) Thx for ur review!_

_** jka1:** I fear that Lucas doesn't really know what it is supposed to feel like to have a father (because James isn't really one to him)...but we'll see ;)_

_** alwaysariyana:** Hope I did :) Thx for your review!_

_** Fae Child19:** well...wait for the next chapter and you have your Snape ;) And I hope you like Boris now a bit better...he isn't a bad guy, I promise :)_

_** flower123:** Yes..a nice little break for Lucas before he goes back...you see, Boris is a nice guy :)_

_** imakeeper:** LOL you really like Hufflepuffs, don't you? But I'm sorry...this part is already planed out...but I love your suggestions :)_

_** moonravencrow13:** Yes...James...but I hope that he isn't OOC (well...more than normal in a AU ;)). Thx for your review!_

_** Aamaya:** Thx so much for your reviews! But I fear that Lucas won't like me for long...poor guy has a lot in for him..._

_** Dea Puella :** lol I thought about that for a second but I searched a lot for the name and in the end it was Mallory...but yes, Malfoy would have been interesting, too. And thx soo much that you reviewed to every chapter! Thx!_

_** Lia-derVampir:** Heißt du wirklich Lia? ;) Also nein, sorry. Aber ich hatte eine Freundin die wirklich Samantha hieß, falls dich das aufmuntert ;) Und vielen lieben Dank für dein Lob :)_

_** Sam:** Why is everyone always so revengeful? Revenge doesn't always mean peace of mind...but I'll see, what will happen but fear that it will be worse before it gets better...and thx for your review :)_

_** Snarky B.:** I have a beta reader...and I do put effort into it but my first language is not English so I just have to trust my beat reader...and till you are the only one who thinks that the story isn't well written...I'm sorry for that but I can't really change that._

_Thx for soo many REVIEWS! Thx a lot! I think the next update should be soon but not so fast like this one, sorry._

_So ...thanks a lot for reading!  
Chau,  
Sam :)_


	8. Chapter Seven

**_And still can't stop hoping_**

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)  
And a BIG THANK YOU to my lovely beta reader searinox!_

_Sam :)_

* * *

**_Chapter 7_**

Severus Snape wasn't really known to be a nice man. Most would agree that he is one of Hogwarts' most infamous professors. You just had to look at him to know that Valentine's Day was probably one of his most hated days of the year and nearly everyone only knew him as a strict, sometimes cruel and hard teacher.

But none could argue about the fact that he knew his subject. Probably better than most who had gone to University with him to study the difficult subject of Potions. Even then he was known as a mostly quiet, cold, but hardworking man. But there were some people who knew him better.

One of these was his son, Adrian.

Not many knew of Adrian until he came to Hogwarts last September to start his first year at Hogwarts. Many of the older students were quite shocked to see that their Potion Master was indeed human.

No one really knew who the mother of the dark haired child was, but of course, no one ever dared to ask the Potions Master. And his son wouldn't speak a word about his home life, even if anyone could see that he loved his father dearly.

But that hadn't been the only shock that Hogwarts had that year.

Head auror James Henry Potter had become the pupils' new Professor for Defense Against the Dark Arts. And if this wasn't enough to guarantee some interesting days, Adrian Tristan Snape wasn't the only child of a teacher that began his first year.

Jonathan David Potter had also started his first year at Hogwarts and the war of these two families was complete.  
Both looked so much like their fathers and acted a lot like them. Both of them grew up with only their father around (that much was known about Adrian's mother) and were the only child in their family.

Even if that wasn't exactly true, most people forgot about the younger Potter and James never corrected them. It would probably just become another surprise at the beginning of the next school year.

So far, this school year had been quite hard on the Potions Master's nerves. Not only had he had to teach the "Potter Brat" (as he usually called him in his head), but he had also to deal with Potter Senior. Both situations which he would like to avoid.

Well…maybe not his potions class with Potter Brat, because he was just too easy to handle. Arrogant like his father but with next to no knowledge in Potions. The others Gryffindors weren't even saying behind his back that he was unfair.

Far from it. This year, he was one of the fairest teachers in Hogwarts. Not one of Hogwarts' older students could really explain why he wasn't so cruel anymore to the other three houses that weren't Slytherin. It didn't mean that he wasn't still somehow nicer to the Slytherins, but he didn't take too many points from the other houses.

Well…at least, until Professor Potter took 100 points from Slytherin in a single day and there wasn't one good reason for it. But Professor Snape didn't answer with the same means, no. He just gave less points to Gryffindors and took more when they didn't know the answers or did anything wrong. But Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff never had a better time in Potions than before this year.

What no one could understand was why Professor Snape was acting that way.

But his plans were working perfectly fine and everyone did exactly what the Professor had hoped for. They didn't like Professor Potter that much and even the Gryffindors were sometimes ashamed of him. And Snape looked suddenly pretty good against his 'former enemy'.

Snape was even a little bit proud of himself. And the best of it all: Gryffindor lost a lot of its shine. If he'd known that Potter would bring so much bad light onto his old house, he would have asked Albus to hire Potter so many years before.

Or maybe not. He really didn't want his first grey hairs before his 70th birthday.

And now he was walking down Knockturn Alley to get some new ingredients for his potion class….and, of course, a few less-than-legal ingredients for his personal stocks. He really looked forward to seeing Boris again. They weren't really friends but a lot of times he would stay longer than needed and drink some tea with the old man to discuss some new potions.

Finally he arrived at the shop and entered without hesitation. He looked up and was a little surprised to see Boris Mallory already sitting behind the counter reading a potion magazine. He was surprised because normally he had to wait at least a few minutes for his associate to come to the front of the shop while brewing a potion in one of the back rooms.

"Severus, what a surprise to see you here!" welcomed Boris with a small smile as he laid the magazine on the counter. "I didn't expect you here for at least another week", he said and shook Severus' hand.

"I'm quite surprised myself. Why aren't you in the back room brewing potions? Don't tell me people are beginning to brew the easiest potions themselves?" He asked the older man, sneering at the thought of all the imbeciles in the world.

As if to prove his point, he looked at one of the many potions lining the shelves of the shop and noted that a Fourth Year could make it well enough to function properly. But then he saw the potion for pleasant dreams that Lucas had made. It was perfect- absolutely perfect.

Severus stared for a second at the bottle and then went over to it to have a closer look. The colour was a perfect midnight blue. He opened the small bottle and moved his hand a little bit to smell the potion. It was the perfect sweetly smell with a delicate, underlying tone of grass. Impressed, he bottled it and put it back in its place.

"I wouldn't have thought that you'd have the time to make that potion- and it seems you've finally learned one of the secrets of a Potions Master to be able to brew it correctly." Severus turned a questioning gaze upon Boris, but the man only smirked at him.

Not many, probably no one but Severus, knew that Boris wasn't actually a Potions Master. Of course, the man was a very good potion brewer and could make potions nearly perfectly…but that was it.

He didn't have a feeling for potions that made one a potions master. What many people not knew was that there aren't many potions master in the world.

Potions _brewer_, yes- Boris was one of them and it was more than enough than to have a shop and sell potions. But to be a Potions Master…Severus had only meet three others in his life.

But of course ignorant people like his students would never appreciate the honour of learning under a Potions Master or understand that he was one of the reasons Hogwarts was counted as one of the best magical schools in the world.

"Severus?" Severus looked back to drawing his gaze away from the small bottle. "How did you figure the change out?" The Potion Master asked and looked at the other man who looked amused by the question.

"Maybe you want to see it with your own eyes?" asked the older man and Severus nodded. He admitted to himself that he was curious. "It wouldn't also have anything to do with the fact that you are now sitting in the shop reading a magazine rather than making a potion, would it?" He looked closely at the older man who looked a lot more rested than the last time he'd seen him. Whatever it was that helped him with the potion, it had to be good.

They walked out of the saleroom, down a corridor and then Boris carefully opened the door which led to the laboratory. Before they went into the room, Boris signaled him to be silent, and after a nod they walked as silent as possible into the room. Not that it would make any difference because the person brewing a potion for plant growth was totally engrossed into its work and probably wouldn't hear an elephant walking into the room.

Severus took the time to have a good look at the person and was shocked to see its face. A boy who was probably only ten years old was brewing a Third Year's potion! And perfectly, if the colour and smell were anything to go by.

The boy had long, black hair but he could see some red highlights when the light was shining on it. His face was strangely familiar but at the same time he was sure that he had never seen the boy before. He was of average height, but had long, delicate fingers which were handling the ingredients with much care and precision. If he wouldn't have seen the face first and would ignore his height, he would say that it was one of his best Seventh Year students who was adding the sliced cheery tree roots to the potion.

"Impressive, isn't he?" asked Boris quietly and looked proudly at the kid working on the potion. Then he asked Severus with a small motion of his head to walk out. "He will brew for another half hour. You can talk to him later, if you like." Boris said after he had closed the door behind them. Severus nodded and they walked a little bit more along the corridor, up the stairs that were hidden in a broom closet and along another corridor and into the living room.

The room was made of warm colours and had a nice carpet, a table with a coach in front of the fireplace, shelves full of books and a few picture here and there. Severus liked the room because it wasn't overloaded but didn't look empty. And as Boris gave him a glass half full with whiskey, he admitted that the small bar probably was his favourite furniture in the whole room.

"So how did you come across such a talented child?" Severus asked after both drank a little bit of their drinks.

"By sheer luck, I can promise you", the older man answered with a smile. "He walked into my shop around the end of October and first I was thinking that he had just gotten lost but then I looked a bit into his thoughts and saw that he ran away and was looking for somewhere to stay. The kid was already suspicious that I knew what he was thinking when I asked him if he wanted to stay here. I think he is the most untrusting ten-year old I ever met, I can tell you." He said with a small smile but also with a bit of thoughtfulness.

The other man seemed to know what he was thinking, because he asked the same question that Boris had asked himself often enough. "Why would he be so untrusting?"

"To be honest, I have no idea." The younger man looked at him, astonished.

"I thought you read his thoughts?" the younger man asked. "I did, but only in the beginning and he was really careful of what he was thinking. And after a while, he wouldn't even look me in the eyes anymore, but at my nose. I really had no idea who he figured that out so fast. And now…well, now I can't see anything at all anymore", Boris said again with this thoughtful pride.

"You taught him Occlumency? If I hadn't trained my own son, I would have doubted that it's even possible to teach someone so young- and I never knew you where such a good teacher," Severus answered with a small smirk but the other one didn't answer to that.

"Severus…I told you, I don't really know anything about the kid. If I had taught him Occlumency I would know a lot more now," he paused for a second and then looked directly in the eyes of the other. "I didn't teach him. He taught himself." He was rewarded with a speechless Severus Snape.

"That's impossible!" The other man couldn't believe that a ten-year old could have learnt Occlumency by himself. "I assure you that it's quite possible- or at least with him. You saw him brewing a potion with enough concentration to make me jealous. And Occlumency is mostly about concentration and about knowing yourself and your emotions. And I promise you he knows that a lot. Sadly…", he murmured the last word more to himself but Severus heard it anyway.

"You suspect something?" The younger man asked slowly and the other nodded. "I fear he didn't have the best life in his old family. I mean…there is always a reason to run away and I didn't exactly notice anyone searching for him."

Severus nodded and looked thoughtful for a second. "What's the lad's name anyway?" he asked.

"Lucas. His name is Lucas, and I think that's one of the best information that I have." Boris admitted. "You think it's his real name?" Boris nodded. "I know it is, because when he told me his name he didn't know any Occlumency and I didn't detect a lie. So yes, I'm pretty sure his name is Lucas. But I have no idea what his last name is. He never told me."

After a small pause, where they were both thinking of the small black-haired boy downstairs, they began talking about potions and some politics until Boris suddenly stopped in the middle of his sentence.

First Severus was confused, but then he heard a quiet sound. Before he could ask what it was, Boris was already answering. "It means that the potion is ready. If you still want to meet Lucas, Severus, I can go and get him."

The potion master only thought about that for a second before he nodded. While Boris left to get Lucas, he was thinking about the best way to start talking to the kid. He had never really been in a situation when he really wanted to talk to a kid that wasn't his son or godson.

He was really interested to see who that Lucas was…

* * *

_Chapter 7 is already over...sorry. Hope you liked it and the information about Severus Snape :).**Please review!!!**  
I HAVE OVER 100 REVIEWS!!! Thx SOOOO MUCH!!! I love yous guys!!! I'm sorry that I can't answer to all your reviews but university started for me so I don't have too much time anymore...but a big THANK YOU to allwaysandforever, 917brat, YamiRose ElementalGoddess, samgurlalways, Jepoliant, Didaskaleinophobia, Fallen Dragon, Bluebear13, Page, flower123, imakeeper, weaslygirl, Snitch713-713, Fae Child19, Seibutsusen, jka1, visbond, Lia-derVampir, DestinyEntwinements, Varnalesa, Paula W, disama, momocolady, vampirelf and LegalAlien1!!! You are the best :)_

_But here a few comments to your questions...Will Snape recognize Lucas? How could he? Snape never met that Potter before and Lucas looks now way different than James.  
But in the next chapter we will see how Lucas react to Severus Snape...that'll be interesting, I hope ;) _

_Again...Thanks a lot for reading and I hope you like my story and will review again...it's because of your reviews that I'm writing! (and because the idea just didn't leave me alone ;))!!!  
Chau,  
Sam :)_


	9. Chapter Eight

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)  
And a BIG THANK YOU to my lovely beta reader searinox!_

_Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 8**_

Lucas didn't really know what to expect. He had just finished his potion five minutes earlier and then Boris came and asked him to meet Severus Snape. THE Severus Snape. Lucas had read so many things about the Potion Master in books or some short notices from him in potion magazines.

Severus Snape had been one of the youngest people to ever get the title of Master in Potions. People agreed that he was a genius when it came to potions. But Lucas had also heard other stories about the potion master. Master Snape wasn't really known to be one of the most agreeable persons in the world.

Or, if Lucas was to believe the ranting of his father, Severus Snape was one of the worst persons that existed. It was also said that he was a teacher at Hogwarts and a little bit unfair…meaning he loved his Slytherins and hated everyone else. And the only description Lucas had ever heard was from his father.

Of course, he didn't think that there was a person who looked like an "over-grown bat" who had the "ugliest nose in the universe" who would be better off "without his foul teeth and oily, black hair." No…Lucas liked to believe that this description wasn't the most objective.

Finally, Lucas arrived at the door to the living room and thought a second about knocking. But he felt really strange knocking on his own living room door, so he decided to open the door- only slower than normally.

When he walked into the room, his gaze immediately found the professor's black eyes. He stopped and just looked into these eyes for a second. Piercing black eyes that seemed to try to look through him so he was careful to not really think anything and keep his head clear. It wouldn't surprise him if the potion master was a friend of Boris knew mind-reading or Occumency, or whatever they had called it in the book he had read.

But this was a dangerous man that much knew Lucas immediately; he also knew that one shouldn't make trouble with dangerous men, so he lowered his gaze, closed the door behind him, and waited, unsure of what to do.

It felt really strange standing in his living room and feeling so out of place. Lucas just hoped that whatever the potion master wanted to talk to him about wouldn't take too long. He kept his eyes lowered, but looked a bit higher to see the Potion Master who was looking at him with even more interest.

His father had been right that the man had black hair, but that mostly covered it. He seemed to be a bit taller than normal people but Lucas couldn't really tell as the man was sitting. His hair looked quiet normal from what he could see, and though the man had an interesting nose, it was surely not ugly. If he was honest, it gave his face an even more dangerous look.

"You know, you can sit down. I don't want you to stand in your own home", the Potion Master suddenly said with a deep, a bit amused voice. 'At least he's not a threat right now,' thought the young man. He sat next to the potion master on the couch. He wasn't really sure about the _home_ part though. He never really thought of the potion shop as his home. It would just make it so much more difficult to think that he would have to leave again in July and maybe never come back. No…better not think of this place as home.

Forcefully Lucas pushed his thought into another direction: the Potion Master sitting next to him. At that moment, Lucas really regretted not having another chair or anything, but he couldn't really change that so he just tried to not sit to close too the other man. Even if he probably wasn't a thread, he just didn't feel comfortable around people, because there is a higher possibility that they would touch him and he just wasn't used to being touched, even if he craved it.

He hadn't even registered how straight he sat on the couch, until the Potion Master spoke aloud in his deep, rich voice.

"You can relax, boy. I just want to talk to you about the potion you brewed. I saw an excellent Sleep-Well-Potion in the shop, and Boris told me that you made it. It seems that you are quite talented."

Lucas finally looked up and again saw those black eyes peering into his own green ones, but this time they didn't seem to be that dangerous, not as piercing. He relaxed a little bit and nodded. "Yes", he said shyly and when the man didn't say anything he took that as a sign that the potion master wanted to hear more about it, so he continued. "When I brewed it the second time I had a feeling that the potion would be better if you'd add a half ounce more of the fairy powder after you added the toad liver. And…in the end it worked!"

Lucas face lit up a bit when he thought of his success and there was even a beginning of a small smile when he saw the small nod the Potion Master had made. "That was a really good idea; it seems that you are quite talented with potions. How did you learn so much about them?" asked the potion master.

"Boris taught me a lot. He explained all the things the books couldn't tell me and so I improved greatly. They never really said how important the ingredients were or how concentrated someone has to be on the potion to make it better," said the child.

"'The books didn't explain'? So you already knew something about potions before you came here?" asked an interested Potion Master. But his questions didn't have the desired effect, because in this moment Lucas thought he knew what happened and closed off.

He really had thought that the man had been interested in him but it was probably just to figure out who he was so that he could be send back. Lucas felt kind of sad about that because he really would have liked to learn a bit more about potions.

But to his surprise, Master Snape spoke again. "If you wish, I can help you a bit with some potions. Maybe if you have some questions you'd like to have answers to, we could try it out together if it seems too difficult. I fear that I don't have so much time, but I could probably come over a few weekends.

"I would really like you to meet my son, but sadly he has to stay at school on the weekends and I can't leave in vacations. But maybe you can meet him at some later date."

Lucas stared at Master Snape a while and thought it over. It was a too good deal to not make it. And it seemed that the other man had been really only curious about his potion knowledge and hadn't mean to pry.

And even if…he only had to be careful not to say anything about his history and keep the topics always about potions and there shouldn't be a problem. That would also show if the Potion Master just wanted to spy on him or if he really was interested in his potions knowledge. Because if he wasn't interested in that, he probably wouldn't come anyway, right?

Finally, Lucas nodded. "I'd be honored to learn from you", said the suddenly even shier child, but the Potion Master only gave him one of his near-smiles and nodded.

"Good. But if you have any question you think can't wait, just write me an owl, will you? It'll be nice to have some intelligent questions between all the rubbish I get to hear everyday in class", said Master Snape and Lucas nodded, a small smile on his face.

"Thank you, Sir. I'd really like that."

* * *

Lucas was waiting impatiently in the shop behind the counter. Today was the first time Master Snape would come to the shop to teach him a bit about potions. He was so excited! It has been only two weeks since he saw the Potion Master for the first time but for Lucas it had been a very long time.

It was like suddenly he had even more ideas about potions and how to make them better. And numerous times, Boris had to wake him up and send him to bed when he fell asleep reading a book.

If Boris had thought that Lucas had been crazy for potions before, it was nothing compared to now. Nearly ever minute was spent brewing a potion or reading about potions. Only sometimes the old man found his young friend over a herbology book. He wondered if he should tell him that runes could be also used in potions but then decided against it. That was too difficult for every ten year old, regardless of how intelligent they were.

Finally the bell of the door was heard and Lucas tried to look as if it was just by chance that he was at the counter at the moment. Boris shared a short look with Severus to know that none of them was fooled.

"Hello, Lucas. How are you today?" asked the potion master the young boy calmly. "I'm fine, Master Snape", said the shy boy. The potion master gave a short nod and then walked to the boy.

"Well, then show me where you need help. You said in your letter something about a change in the 26th step of the Reinauer Heal potion and some thoughts to the uses of dragon milk in teeth-growing potions." With that, the Potion Master slowly put a hand on Lucas' shoulder, who flinched violently anyway. Boris looked sadly at his protégé. Even he couldn't really touch him without him flinching but he tried to get him used to it.

Here, a light clap on his shoulder, there, a hand to tousle his hair- but every time, the boy would flinch and try to escape the touch. But as he looked after these two potion fanatics and saw that Severus hand was still on the boy's shoulder, he couldn't help but hope that maybe Lucas found someone he could trust. He really wished it.

* * *

Severus Snape's thoughts weren't that different from Boris'. He too, had of course felt Lucas flinching and sighed inwardly. He had really thought that maybe he had been wrong and the boy hadn't been abused, but everything spoke against his wishes.

And still now, when he had his hand on the boy's shoulder, he could feel the light trembling. But he didn't take his hand off. He wanted to help this young boy who had such passion for potions. Yes, he himself had a son and he was quite talented at potions but Adrian wasn't really passionate about it.

And here, he found the boy that he wouldn't mind taking as an apprentice, if Lucas would continue to be so crazy and fantastic about potions. Severus had never had an apprentice before, because he just never saw someone talented enough for his tastes. And now he had found the boy who already meant much so much to him and sadly, he was a shy, abused boy. Who knew Occlumency already, something no ten year old- or child for that matter- should have a need for.

Severus Snape swore to himself that he would do anything he could to make Lucas better.

They now were in the laboratory, and Severus let Lucas finally go so he could get his notes. Severus noticed the way the boy was walking. Soundless and fine steps so that there wouldn't be a possibility for him to stumble over anything that could be on the ground. His steps weren't very sure and it just showed that the boy wasn't very confident and more likely to try to sneak away if some should take notice of him.

This insecurity was also shown now, as the young boy explained his thoughts and changes in the potion. Severus paid close to attention to what the boy said, nodded often and smiled more than he would normally when the boy had a really good thought. In the few cases where his explanations wouldn't make sense or were just too far-fetched, he was careful to keep his voice even and completely free of anger.

It seemed to work after a while, because the boy seemed to relax a bit, which only meant that his hands finally stopped shaking. But whenever he was unsure about some of his theories, a small shaking was noted or he would flinch a bit when the professor moved.

Severus was thankful that he didn't show his feelings for everyone to see, like some fools, because he wouldn't have been able to keep some of his pity- no, compassion- from his face and voice. And he was sure that the boy would just close off when he showed too much interest in Lucas' history and feelings.

He sighed as it occurred to him just how hard it was going to be to help this boy.

But as he saw how Lucas' eyes just lightened up a bit after some praise he really thought that this boy was more than worth it.

* * *

_I'm soooo sorry that you had to wait that long! Sadly, my beta reader didn't have much time so I had to wait longer than normally...but chapter nine should be updated this week...if you all review that great like last time :D  
So THANKS A LOT to GreatWarlord, Rosieliss, The-Resident, strfire, silver-red-phoenix, PaddycakePadfoot, Gato-sama, storywriter10791, Isabel, vampirelf, ahappyjtm, Hope, Crazym0i, Jade, flower123, natzno1, Shadow00, moonravencrow13, jabarber69, Fae Child19, momocolady, angelkat2502, imakeeper, jka1, Lia-derVampir, Jepoliant, Lady AeTeRa, Kateri1, K.K.Anderson, Anna Evans, weaslygirl, LegalAlien1, HeadBoyProngs, DestinyEntwinements and Fancyfree!  
I really love your ideas and questions and everything...so again...thanks a lot!  
I'm already curious of your opinion of this chapter! Chau,  
Sam :)_


	10. Chapter Nine

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)  
And a BIG THANK YOU to my lovely beta reader searinox!_

_Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 9**_

"Be careful with that lemon grass, Luca. If you put them in too fast, it's quite possible that the potion will throw it back into your face." Said an amused potion master. Lucas nodded shortly and slowed his movements down a bit. He watched the young boy a bit longer before nodding to himself.

It was the beginning of June and Severus had managed to come and see Lucas every other weekend. However, his troubles had been awarded and Lucas had opened up to him more and more. When Severus had started to call him "Luca" he had even been awarded with a small smile, and so he tried to use it as often as he could, just to make him feel better. He even was sure that the boy might even trust him.

Not much, mind you, but he could now put a hand on his shoulder without the boy flinching and Lucas didn't seem to mind it anymore when Boris or Severus was standing close to him. Even Boris could now touch him without trouble and even got away with hugs. Now, there weren't many, but Lucas had accepted them as a reward and even if he sometimes still couldn't stop a light tremble, he seemed to appreciate them anyway.

Severus had finally managed to talk to Lucas about a subject not potion related when they had meet the fourth time. Before that, the boy would just ignored the questions or turn them into something potion related that he would answer.

Severus never really knew why the child had been so hard on himself to stay away from other topics, because more than once it had seemed as if Lucas had wanted to answer but then decided against it. But Severus never pushed it; and one day, Lucas had finally answered.

Severus remembered exactly how it happened. They had worked on a potion (of course) and he began talking about his son and his likes and dislikes. It was hard for the potion master to open up, but he knew that it was the only way to get to know the young boy….

* * *

_"You know, Luca…Adrian really likes Quidditch; but sometimes I really don't know if he really likes the sport or only the competition against the other houses. I personally don't understand why someone has to risk his life because of trying to find a small golden flying egg or a red ball. The only intelligent people are the beaters, you know? They at least keep an eye out for the things that hurt and keep them away from themselves and their team mates. They are the clever ones, don't you think?" _

_Severus Snape was astonished at himself that he talked so freely about a topic he normally had few words to tell about; but somehow it seemed like a good thing to talk about at the moment. The potion was shimmering and they wouldn't be able to do anything for ten more minutes. But he was still pleasantly surprised when Lucas answered….and he stayed on the topic!_

_"I…I really don't know if I could like Quidditch. I mean it seems like a very interesting sport from what I read about it but like you already said, Sir. I really prefer sports where I don't have to risk my life for just a few seconds of fun. And even if you don't die, there are still so many accidents in the game and I really don't want to …be in any pain if I can avoid it…" Lucas finished quickly and Severus was sure that there had been something else the boy had wanted to say but ignored it._

_He'd just had the first "normal" conversation with the boy, and he didn't want to loose that just because he was too curious._

_"You are right, Luca. It can be quite an interesting and amusing sport to watch, though. You can admire the players for their skills on the brooms at the same time as asking their mental health to put themselves at such a risk. And at times, it's really quite entertaining to see full grown men crying over a lost game of ball sports."_

_And he was rewarded with the second small smile the boy had every shown him._

* * *

After that they could talk about more and more topics and Severus selected a few potions on his own where the brewers had to wait for sometimes 30 minutes so he could talk to the boy. After the 3rd potion, Lucas looked at him as if he would say something but then just shook his head.

Severus had known then that Lucas had seen through it, but at the same time didn't seem to be too angry about it. Severus was thankful because they could continue their talks about Quidditch, favourite dishes, and colours and everything else one could think of that wouldn't give anything away.

He would never have thought it, but now he even read a bit in the Quidditch magazines of his son. Of course, he was always careful that no one saw him because everyone knew about his dislike of this sport. But somehow, he didn't hate it so much anymore, because it was a safe topic to talk with Lucas.

But today there should be another surprise for the potion master. Because normally he started the topic, or talking in general for that matter, and Lucas would answer some questions, would ignore others, and ask some of his own. But today, it seemed was another small break through in their relationship.

"Sir? If I may ask…what is Hogwarts like?" asked the quiet voice of Lucas. The boy still spoke quietly, but not as uncertainly as he had before. It seemed that now he was just scared that if he spoke too loud, it would break the small bond they'd formed or someone would storm into the room to destroy every bit of trust they had built over the weeks

"Hogwarts? What do you want to know about it, Luca?" asked the potion master calmly. He offered Lucas a small smile as the boy looked unsure about the counter question.

"I read _Hogwarts, a History,_ but I have no real idea what it is really like. I don't really know what the real differences between the houses are, other than that they have different colours and mascots, and it would be nice just to know something about it before I go there."

Severus smiled lightly. So Lucas **would** come and attend Hogwarts. Till now he never really had known, because the boy hadn't made any plans known or how long he would stay in the potion shop- if not for forever. And it meant also, that Severus, at last, would know the boy's last name and then he could hopefully help him to get away from his family and find a real family. And if no one was found he would take the boy in himself before he was sent to an orphanage. Yes, hopefully he could finally help him more than _only_ with talking.

"Hogwarts is wonderful. I always feel at home there even if I have a small house which I share with my son. The first look at Hogwarts will take your breath away, and you'll remember it clearly until the end of your days. It's one of such moments where you just can't remember anything more beautiful in that moment."

Severus paused for a second and collected his thoughts. It was true that he didn't like children that much when it came to potions, and many thought he would detests Hogwarts as a home for so many "brats," but in reality, he loved it. It had been his home when his own home life hadn't been the easiest one and he could always count on Hogwarts to keep him safe. With a small smile he continued to tell Lucas about Hogwarts.

"There are four houses as you surely know from the book. I won't tell you how you get sorted, because that's a surprise, but I promise you it's nothing bad and it will be only between you and the sorting ceremony. Because even if the whole school sees you, no one hears what is spoken and that's the important part. Just remember that there was never someone who was sorted incorrectly.

"The four houses are Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. You already know their colours and mascots and probably also the traits that belong to each house. Slytherins are the cunning ones, Ravenclaws the clever ones, Gryffindors the brave ones and Hufflepuffs the loyal ones. What I think is more important is that everyone has all traits but some have them more than others and sometimes you'll just learn them with time.

"What is also important is that your house is your family. I speak now more for Slytherin, because I'm their Head of House and my son, and hopefully soon my godson, are part of the house." In thoughts, he also added: _'And you, too.'_

"Slytherins hold together and we help each other; we take care of each other. Because sadly, most people, especially Gryffindors, think that we are the bad and evil ones. I don't have to tell you what I think of that, so I won't. But it also makes Slytherins so much more of a family than the other houses because we are the outsiders, we are alone. And if no one is looking out for us, then of course we care even more for each other."

Severus stopped for a second and as he saw the Lucas had followed everything he said, he added. "And I really think that Slytherin will take good care of you, Luca." He stopped for a second and then told himself to take the risk. He bent forwards so that his eyes were at the same height as Lucas' and told him quietly.

"And I really think that we could help you against the ones that hurt you and make sure that they won't have another chance. I swear I will do anything I can to keep you save and so will everyone else in Slytherin."

He saw Lucas flinching when he spoke the first words, but he only turned his head away and avoided eye contact. It wasn't as bad of a reaction as it could have been, and Severus was thankful that it showed the fragile trust the boy had for him. And as Severus said the last part Lucas looked again in the eyes of the potion master and you could see that he believe the man, but seemed shocked about it anyway.

Severus saw that there was a bit of hope in these eyes and he smiled softly and nodded. "I'll talk care of you, okay? Not only because I'm the head of house of Slytherin, because you can always come to me even if you are not sorted into Slytherin, which I strongly doubt. You are a Slytherin if I ever saw one."

And after a second thought, he took a small step forward and hugged Lucas. At first the boy was stiff, but as nothing changed he finally relaxed and even put his head on the professors shoulder and enjoyed the arms that wrapped around him. Lucas closed his eyes and seemed to want to soak up the warmth of the older man.

"You promise?" he asked in such a soft voice that Severus nearly didn't hear him; but Snape nodded.

"I promise."

* * *

_Et voilà! Chapter number 9 is here :). I hope you liked the chapter and enjoyed it...because this will be the last one with Snape and Harry for some time...at least of this kind.  
Please let me know what you think and again...THANKS A LOT to Mistress of Eternal Night, YaoiFan26, jka1, Sevvie lover, padfootsrevenger, sylvan, Hope, allwaysandforever, rogue solus, Alianna15, DarkNinjaBunneh, RavensCave, Cale 4, Anna Evans, silver-red-phoenix, lilyseyes27, risi, flower123, Otspock, momocolady, weasleygirl, crystal, Monnbeam, XxX-PhoenixGirl-XxX, Lady AeTeRa, Jepoliant, imakeeper, vampirelf and Fae Child19. And thanks especially to AnnF and Dea Puella. I corrected the mistakes...so thanks a lot for telling me!  
And to all who are wondering about Snape's reaction to __Harry_ and not Lucas...well, will see about that...I don't want to say too much too soon ;). So just keep on writing reviews and you'll get your answers sooner :)

_Chau and thx again,  
Sam :)_


	11. Chapter Ten

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_**WARNING: **This chapter is not betaed! I didn't hear from my beta reader for a few weeks...But I really want to update now, so I fear you will probably find more mistakes than I'd like in this chapter...please tell me if you find some that are really bad, so I may change them...And if anyone is interested in beta reading...PLEASE MAIL ME! Thank you :)_

_And now have fun!  
Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 10**_

Lucas looked sadly around his room which had been his home for the last ten months. It was still early morning, at about 5 o'clock. The sun wasn't even up yet but he was already awake for half an hour, standing in the dark room. He really didn't want to leave, he didn't. He wouldn't be able to see Severus Snape again, the potion master who had been so nice to him and had come to see him every second weekend, even when the man hadn't have that much time.

He would miss the potion shop and the possibility to make as many potions as he liked. He would miss Boris, who would often smile at him, put a hand on his shoulder and hug him when he completed a potion again.

It was one of the best things he ever had and one of the hardest to leave behind. Because even if he had brewed for hours, he would know that Boris would be there the minute he finished the potion and give him a hug.

Lucas didn't know if he should be thankful that he experienced the warmth of touch or if he would be better of without it. But maybe, he wouldn't have to wait too long to feel it again.

Even if his father didn't like him, there was no question that Lucas would go to Hogwarts. It wouldn't be possible for him to not go, at least not without unwanted attention. And then he would see Master Snape again…for a whole year and not only every second weekend.

Of course, he wouldn't run into his office everyday but just the knowledge that his best…_friend?_ would be so near was nice. Lucas couldn't wait to go to Hogwarts and maybe then he could also leave his "home" forever. Master Snape had promised him!

And even if he had told himself time and time again that he wouldn't trust anyone again…he did. Mind you not enough to tell the man everything, but he had thought about it. Thought about not waiting until Hogwarts to tell the potion master about his family and his full name. But then he always had been too scared to say anything. Scared that the potion master wouldn't believe him or would just bring him back to his hated family.

Because who would believe a nearly eleven year old that the great _James Potter_ abu…didn't like one of his sons? But when the potion master would see how his father acted around him, it would be clear that they didn't have the best of relationships, right?

Of course, even in Hogwarts, there was still the chance that Master Snape wouldn't believed him but at least he would have his house and maybe even friends to get help from. Because even if he wouldn't be sorted into Slytherin, it was said that the house was like your family. It was probably one of the few things where his father and Master Snape agreed on.

But Lucas still didn't know which house he **wanted** to be in. Yes, Slytherin would be nice from everything Master Snape had told him but he couldn't lie to himself.

**He was scared of his father. **

Very much so.

And if he was sorted into Slytherin there was no way to know what his father would do in his rage.

But on the other side… if Master Snape told the truth, then the Slytherins would take care of him, right? And then his father wouldn't be able to hurt him because they would be in a school and someone was bound to notice when he was hurt or anything, right?

Then why did he felt anything but right when thinking about the upcoming year?

Lucas sighed and looked around again.

He was going to miss his things like his nice small bed. In his opinion this was the best bed in the world because Boris bought it exclusively for him and even asked him which bed he wanted! In the other corner of the room was a nice, but now empty desk. The only thing that one could find there was a letter written for Boris with some parts meant for Master Snape.

Lucas hoped that Boris wouldn't be angry about the letter because he didn't tell the old man personally, but maybe he would understand. Luca just wouldn't be able to tell Boris that he had to leave without telling him something he shouldn't. And then, Boris probably wouldn't let him go but he'd have to go anyway, even if he didn't want to.

But Lucas hoped that he would see the man again next summer or maybe in the vacations. But then he remembered that his father would probably still be a teacher and see the list of whom was going back home and he really didn't want the questions of other people about his personal life.

But maybe…if he was free of his father by then, maybe he could come back…

And Master Snape…he would see the man in September so there wasn't really the need to write him a letter. And he wouldn't really know what more to write him than the few words he already wrote into the other letter. His bag was packed and he would go back to his relatives today because his father would come to their home in five days to pick him up.

Today was the 15th of July and he had to go back to the Dursleys.

With a last sign he took his bag and walked as quietly as possibly out of his room and out of the house with only a bit of his money to pay the Night bus.

Away from the life, name and appearance he had learned to love and back to his false looks and hated relatives…

* * *

Boris said in the kitchen and read his newspaper, but he couldn't really concentrate on it. Something was wrong. He didn't know what yet, but he had a bad feeling and he looked again to the empty chair on the other side of the table. It wasn't yet time for Lucas to come down for breakfast but somehow he had a bad feeling about it. He shook his head and went back reading. The boy would be at the table in five minutes and he would laugh over himself. 

Five minutes came and went but Lucas still wasn't here.

Boris waited another minute, the newspaper forgotten on the table, but then he couldn't wait any longer and walked to Lucas' room. He knocked softly on the door but no sound came from the room. That alone was normal because Lucas was one of these persons who could walk up to your back till they could tap you on the shoulder and only then would you know that he was there.

He knocked again.

Again no sound and this time, Boris decided to have a careful look into the room. He opened the door slowly but when he sneaked a peek into the room he forcefully pushed the door open.

The room was empty.

All the things from Lucas' desk weren't there anymore and as he opened the cupboard nearly all of his clothes were away. But not everything. Boris recognized the clothes he gave Lucas as a present and there was also a box with other things the boy got when he had been here. So maybe that meant that he would come back! But that would also mean that…

NO!

His hands began shaking.

Boris didn't want to think that Lucas had gone back to his relatives that had abused him but he couldn't come to any other explanation. He let his head hang and closed his eyes for a second.

He just hoped that Lucas wouldn't be hurt too much when he came back from running away and would be able to go to Hogwarts. Because Boris also believed that once the boy was in Hogwarts, he wouldn't have to go back there and be save.

The old man sighed, took his hands slowly from the cupboard door, turned around and looked again into the empty room. Then he saw the letter on the desk and blamed it on his age that he hadn't seen the letter before. He took the letter, set down on the bed and opened it. Lucas' neat handwriting was staring back at him.

_Dear Boris, dear Master Snape_

_I fear that you now know that I'm no longer in your house and went away again. I have to go back to my relatives so I can go to Hogwarts this year. I really hope that they aren't too angry with me and I even hope that maybe no one really noticed that I was gone. _

Boris snorted. How can someone not notice when the boy ran away? Sadly he looked at the letter knowing that there would be hell to pay. He shook his head and continued reading.

_You may wonder why I didn't tell you that I have to go but I didn't trust myself to not tell you too much and I just can't do that. Maybe I can someday and I really hope that Hogwarts gives me the chance to break free from them like I have hoped for some time now. _

_Please know, that I really want to thank you for taking me in and letting me work with the potions. Please also tell Professor Snape a big thank you, because he spent so much time with me and even was interested in talking about Quidditch and other meaningless things. I really liked that. _

_I hope to see you again and soon, Boris, but I really can't say when. I think it really depends on Hogwarts…  
And please tell Master Snape that I really hope to see him in Hogwarts and that he please isn't too angry with me because I didn't tell him that I wouldn't be here for this week's potion making. _

_Wish me luck, will you? _

_Best wishes to both of you,_

_Lucas _

Boris sighed again, took off his glasses and pinched his nose. He allowed himself to sit a bit longer in the room of the kid he came to love like a grandchild and cursed himself for never telling Lucas just how much the kid had meant to him. But he had been too scared to scare him away. He snorted at that thought and sighed once again.

Finally he stood up and walked out of the room. With one last glance, he closed the door behind him and just hoped that he wouldn't have to wait too long for Lucas to come back.

* * *

Lucas stumbled out of the Night Bus and looked around. He had asked to be left out a few streets from Privet Drive so that he would have time to find a place to change his appearance. He really didn't want to, but he knew that he had to do it. He was just glad that he hadn't forgotten to bring his old glasses with him. 

He looked around till he saw an old playground that was still empty at that time of the day. He hid in one of the wood houses and concentrated hard to look like he had before. When he felt an uncomfortable sensation washing over him he knew that he was successful. Again he wondered why he was able to do what he did because he wasn't a metamorphmagus.

Once, he had tried to change himself into someone else or to change only his fingers and nothing had worked. He has only been able to change between his two "forms" but was happy about it anyway. At least he could run away without fearing that his father would recognize him on the street.

The only thing that made him really sad was that he had to cut his hair because it wouldn't just change like that. With a sigh he took the scissors out but when he tried to cut his hair he knew that this wouldn't work well. He thought for a second and then had an idea.

He cut his hair from where he could see it but wasn't really careful about it. In the end, it looked like his hair had found its way under a lawn mover. It also already started to do what it wanted, like it always had done when he had had short hair. But he knew that it didn't really matter because if he could trust one thing about the Dursleys, then it was Petunia's sense of cleanness and the first thing she would do, would be to cut his hair.

He put his glasses on his nose and slowly walked to Privet Drive. It should be about 6 o'clock in the morning and he knew that the Dursleys would probably wake around 6:30. He just hoped that he wouldn't have to wait too long in front of their house, because if some of the neighbours saw him there would be hell to pay.

Lucas didn't really think that the Dursleys would hurt him really badly. In his opinion, he did both of them a favour when he ran away. They didn't have to feed another head but could keep the money his father gave them monthly. They should have been quite happy that he hadn't been with them for the last months.

But the thing was… he really didn't know the Dursleys or how they'd react…

Finally he arrived at Privet Drive Number 4 and he already heard sounds coming from the kitchen. At least they were already awake. Softly he knocked on the door and waited a few moments until the door opened. Aunt Petunia stood in front of him looking as _normal_ as ever.

"Well…who would have thought that you'd be so punctually? Come in, before the neighbours see you, boy! And what happened to your hair? After we had breakfast I'm going to cut it, so that you know that! I'm not letting the neighbours talk just because you hadn't been able to cut your hair. Come in, come in! You can start by helping me with the breakfast if you remember how it's made."

Lucas, or better, Harry as he was now again, stepped into the house and closed the door behind him. The sound of the lock falling in place sounded like his welcome to his prison again. Well, at least it was only for five days until his father would come to pick him up, not that that was any better.

Out of the frying pan into the fire…

* * *

_FINALLY! I'm really happy to finally update the story...I'm really sooo sorry that you had to wait so long for the new chapter...Hopefully, the next will be out sonner really hopes so  
And now I hope that you have your explanation about the metamorphmagus. Harry is NO metamorphmagus...I don't want him to be superman, if you know what I mean. He only has his two "forms" to change inbetween because his magic saw it as an imperative for him to learn... :)_

_That was all for today and thanks a **LOT** for all the great reviews I got...74 IN TOTAL!!!!!_

_THANKS to Malevolent Nuzzler, Kim, BrightFeather, Merrymow, Kei, imwaytoolazytowrite, Lilith, ladyBlue Wolf, weaslygirl, ChildeofBlackFriday, Shadow, koldy, Ry, zafaran, Ella1331, anonymousey, PrdigyRavenclaw, greenheart8, page-write, Fire of the lioness, Nicol, Ermelinde, HazelWolf1111, Heavenly Dancer, jabarber69, canela, Clutchy, rayvern, Tamura, Shiruba Fokkusu, firelegs, LiYinBlake, Fate, AJ-Plays-With-Fyre, Elruwen the Blessed, cherrypi393, jka1, flower123, firmin, Hope, imakeeper, risi, Dea Puella, Fae Child19, Jepoliant, Drajl719, RavensCave, remind me to breathe, Hyper Hippie, Suika Severin, allwaysandforever, Cheezewizz, Lady Gallatea Ravenclaw, The-Resident, Alianna15, lil red and gold phoenix, Rosieliss, Hayden-B, Prophetess Of Hearts, fragonknight01, Sevvie lover, Shadow Eclipse, Butterbutt, weasleygirl, Elena, momocolady, Monnbeam, alwaysariyana, The Jade Sabre, Coiling Death, lilone, Anna Evans, ivanova AND last but not least ;) Mistress of Eternal Night._

_And to all who want to have some questions answered (not the really important ones..they stay secret;)) can write me a private message, if you like :)._

_Thanks again a lot for all your reviews!!! You are the best :)_

_Chau,  
Sam :)_


	12. Chapter Eleven

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:** AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_**WARNING: **NOT READ BY BETAREADER!!!! I'm still trying to find a new one, so if you have some experience with beta reading, I'd love to call you my new beta reader!!_

_But I hope there aren't too many mistakes and you'll enjoy the story...so have fun!  
Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 11**_

Harry sat on his bed, staring straight ahead. His eyes were dull and lifeless. He didn't want to think about what happened or what was going to happen.

He didn't want to question his opinion of muggles because he feared that he may hate them all and not only the Dursleys.

He feared with whom he would agree if he really had started hating muggles.

But it was a hard thing not to do.

Harry had hoped that the Dursleys would just leave him alone for these five days. He didn't do any magic; he didn't get any better marks than Durdley so there shouldn't have been a reason for the beatings…or the belt.

But they didn't care. _Aunt Petunia_ just left the house when _Uncle Vernon_ was beating him with a belt. Dudley would just look totally interested when the fists met his body again and again and sometimes he would hold Harry down so Vernon could beat him up better.

There was no reason to do that.

There was no reason why they should lock him in his room and only let him out at times to go to the bathroom and give him his meals on a tablet.

He had understood it last time…  
He was put into their family and into their lives and they just wanted to be left alone…and then he even made their _lovely perfect son_ look bad…he could understand that to some point.

But now, for only these five days they could have just left him alone.

There was no reason to beat him, there wasn't.

And when he once had been outside to weed the garden there should have stopped one of the many neighbours and asked him to bring him to the police so he can escape the Dursleys…because the back of his t-shirt had have stripes of blood all over it.

But they just looked once at him, then shook their head and looked disapproving to the house and then…walked on. Without a word. Without questioning him about the blood or if he might need help.

No one did anything.

So it should be okay if maybe, just maybe, he **did** hate some muggels, right? And if every Muggle he ever met was like his relatives and these neighbours it should be okay to hate them all, right?

Harry stopped that line of thinking again.

He really didn't want to go to Hogwarts with these thoughts in his head. Because in Hogwarts, there would be muggleborns and he wouldn't trust himself to not _dislike_ them because of who their parents were…

But then he thought that it wouldn't be fair to judge someone by his parents…he should know that.

A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts.

Thinking of the devil…

It seemed that his father was punctual.

Harry didn't know if he was glad or even more frightened…

"Boy! Come down! Now!" screamed Vernon and Harry took a deep breathe and then slowly made his way down the stairs. His trunk was already downstairs next to his father.

Now they had again the same unruly hair and the glasses on their noses…but in Harry's opinion that was where the similarities ended. His father had an already disapproving and impatient look on his face, while Harry was just trying to get down the stairs without showing how much his back hurt.

Vernon was nowhere to be seen and Harry was glad that no one of his relatives was here.

"Well come on, boy. I don't have all the time in the world. Jonathan wanted to go to Diagon Alley later with his friends and I don't want to keep him waiting."

Of course it had to be about Jonathan. Harry wasn't really surprised. So he just nodded, took a hold on his trunk and then touched the newspaper that his father held in his hand.

The second they touched the paper, the world began spinning until finally they landed in the entrance hall of Potter Manor. "I expect you still know the way to your room so don't bother me or your brother any more than you have to." His father looked coldly down at him and then walked out of the hall without giving Harry as much as a second glance.

Harry only sighed, took his trunk and made his way to his room. At least, his father didn't bother him.

* * *

Harry was sitting in the library and reading about different kinds of nigella and their usefulness in potions when his brother came into the room.

"Oh…so you're back? A pity, it was so nice without you here," he said in a taunting voice. Harry just asked Merlin why it was always him who had the stupid relatives. So Jonathan may not be as stupid as Dudley but their sentences were all the same.

"I really don't know how it would be any difference to you. I mean, I'm still surprised that you even put foot into the library," Harry answered sarcastically.

His brother went a bit red for a second before he calmed himself. Then, a smug grin appeared on his face. "I've just been to Diagon Alley and got a new broom for Quidditch because I'm going to be in the Quidditch team next term. I'm going to be Gryffindor's next Seeker!"

"As if I would care about a game where you have to follow a small feathered ball and try not to get hit by two other balls." Was the disinterested answer from Harry.

Now his brother was next to his table and sat down in the chair opposite to him. Harry sighed. "What is it that you want?" he asked tiredly. His brother behaved peculiarly sometimes and sat with Harry while recounting every single thing he had done since the last time they talked. In the beginning his tone would be taunting, but later on he would talk to him like he would to one of his friends. It was so strange because his brother normally didn't even acknowledge his existence. Sometimes Harry thought that Jonathan was only lonely or that no one of his friend really took his time to listen to everything he said.

He couldn't really blame them.

"I know that you don't like Quidditch but I mean…no one would like it if they'd be so bad at it like you are. But you know…Hogwarts is great! I'm in Gryffindor, of course, and already made a lot of friends. I mean, who wouldn't want to be friends with me? Well…not everyone, the Slytherins don't like me, of course, but it's not as if it's my fault, you know? And did you know that **Snape** has a son? He's in my year and as bad as his father! Well…not as bad as him, because he can't take of points, of course, but he's just such a **_Slytherin_!** I really can't…"

Harry just stopped listened after that. For his brother everything was "of course" and only his opinion was the right one and to be a Slytherin is the worst thing that could happen to someone. For his brother the Slytherins are like the muggleborns to some purebloods. They shouldn't even be allowed to exist and are the worst of people. His brother liked to live in his black-white world and so he didn't really care about anything else but the _good_ Gryffindors and the _bad_ Slytherins.

"You know, not all Slytherins are bad," he said without thinking and just then he remembered who he was talking to. "Are you crazy? Of course, they are all bad! Just like every Gryffindor is good! Did you ever hear of a Deatheater from Gryffindor? They just didn't exist but look how many came from Slytherin!" His brother was looking at him as if he would go crazy any second.

"But if they'd be all bad, Hogwarts would have closed the house already! They wouldn't keep people who are _bad_," Harry tried to explain to his brother.

"Nonsense. If they would close the house we wouldn't be able to know who the bad once are! It's just that easy!" And the discussion ended with his brother being _right_ again. Harry just sighed and asked himself why he even started to argue with his brother.

"Why are you even so interested in defending Slytherins? It's not as if you'd be one…I mean, the Potter have always been in Gryffindor and some in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, but never in Slytherin. And you know…dad would kill you, if you'd end up there." Harry looked up strangely to his brother. Had there really been something like worry in his voice? Jonathan was often still an enigma to Harry. There was the boy who chased every friend he might have, had walked out of the room when he knew that their father would hex him but sometimes it seemed as if he might think of him as a brother.

And Harry then remembered that Jonathan really didn't know what happened in this house. Jonathan only knew of the haircuts and the changing of his hair, if he even remembered it. And even if he might suspect something, he'd probably just doubt it. It would make sense…Jonathan loved his father and he had every right to do so. It would be really hard to think of your loved father in bad terms. And suddenly Harry didn't hate his brother anymore who was now even looking at him worried because he hadn't answered for such a long time.

Harry smiled a bit and his brother looked the same like always.

"I…I just don't know where I end up. I mean, I don't know how we are sorted but what if I don't really have a choice in it and whatever chooses the houses thinks that my place is in Slytherin? I just fear that I might not have a choice."

His brother looked for a second as if he wanted to disagree but then thought better of it. "Well…I think you are more a Ravenclaw anyway. I mean, you were never cunning and did something really clever that no one could see through or anything, right? And you aren't mean to people and you keep mostly to yourself, right? So you'll probably end up in Ravenclaw! I mean, that was mum's house, that'd be great, too!"

It was then that Jonathan remembered who he was talking to and wasn't sure if his father would approve so he stood up and walked without another word out of the room.

Yes, Jonathan was sometimes really strange but now he presented Harry with another problem. Jonathan was right…he **might** be in Ravenclaw but he knew that it wasn't an option for him. If he'd be sorted into mum's old house it would be as bad as Slytherin in his father's eyes.

Harry sighed.

Jonathan had also been wrong about other things. Harry is cunning and clever. His stay at Boris' showed just how much. And he kept most of his secrets there so he was really good at being sly. And being mean didn't have anything to do with being a Slytherin, but of course, Jonathan didn't know that…he only listens what his father was telling him.

Harry thought about it for a moment longer but then banned it from his thoughts. He couldn't change where he went anyway. _Hogwarts, a History_, didn't say anything about the sorting but it didn't sound as if one could choose it himself.

Yes…better not think about that right now and then let it be decided by whatever will decide it in Hogwarts.

There wouldn't be really any other choice but Gryffindor for him if he didn't want his father to be angry with him. And that was the problem because Harry knew that he was anything but a Gryffindor. He also doubted that it would be Hufflepuff and so the sorting probably would have to decide between Ravenclaw and Slytherin.

And he wouldn't even start to think about the consequences his sorting into one of these house would have.

He wouldn't.

* * *

_So...that was chapter 11. In the next chapter (which is nearly finished :)) we'll finally be on our way to Hogwarts! And Lucas meets a new boy...may be a friend? 5 points to everyone who guesses right about the identity of the boy ;)  
I hope you liked the chapter and I'd be very, very thankful if you'd write me your opinion!!! I'll be also thankful if you write me where I made mistakes so I can change them :)_

_And there'll be more of Snape and Harry in chapter 13...but mostly again in chapter 15...so you have to wait a bit for the big "How will he react???"-answer...  
I'm a bit sad that I didn't get as many reviews as last time but it's probably because a lot of people thought I wouldn't update again...I'm sorry for that!!  
And now BIG THANKS to Ten Toes, ahappyjtm, Supernatural GilmoreGirls, Annabelle Marie Ruby Potter, swinth, Kateri1, darkmistwolf1991, fa11enange1, ImmortalTigeress, Mmmbop103, psamiad, judymargueses, ALH, Hayden-B, cetacea, Kathleen LaCorneille, The King 43 Richard Petty, Ginny r0x, page-write, momocolady, miyaa, Leslie, ladynarutochan, jka1, Shadow Eclipse, Fae Child19, imakeeper, monica85, Lightstream, vampirelf, allwaysandforever, Mistress of Eternal Night, lil red and gold phoenix, tonica, erin, AJ, Ebona Nite, Lorkin, Seibutsusen, lilyseyes27, BrigthFeather, ladyBlueWolf, ScathingSarcasm, Shiruba Fokkusu, Lessa, SlythsRule, Bad Kitty, Shadowluck231, PaddycakePadfoot, Bookworm622, Rasgara, fire of the lioness, PhoenixGirl, cheekymonkey1994, irat, jabarber69, deathrose9, Drajl719, Cheezewizz, deathstreet90 and flower123!!!!!_

_Thanks again and I hope till next time!_

_Chau, Sam :)_


	13. Chapter Twelve

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:**__ AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **__Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in Italics are Harry's thoughts._

_And a big thank you to my new beta Findirector! You are the best :)_

_And I'd also like to thank the others who offered to beta for me...thank you so much!_

_And now...have fun!  
Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 12**_

"Hurry up! I don't want to be late just because you had to take too many books with you!" screamed Jonathan. It was their last day at home and the Hogwarts Express would leave in about thirty minutes.

Finally, Harry came down the stairs with his trunk in his hands. He looked up again, as if to think of all the precious things he had to leave behind – namely, books.

Jonathan rolled his eyes.

"Harry! Hogwarts' library is bigger than ours and I'm sure you'll find enough books to read in there! Now hurry up! I want to meet my friends!"

Harry just sighed and tried not to think too much of that "friends" aspect. He was scared because he never had any friends of his age before so he didn't know if they would like him.

"Come on! Dad is already outside and waiting for us!"

Standing alone in the house, the hall of the Potter Manor echoing Jonathan's words around him, Harry tried to calm himself. Taking one last deep breath, he slowly made his way outside.

_It's going be okay. It's going to be okay._ He kept repeating in his head.

* * *

Platform 9 ¾ was full of people when Harry stepped through the portal. He looked around but his brother was already on his way to the train. Only his father waited for him and Harry had to look twice to be sure…his father waited for him with a smile on his lips!

But, no.

Of course his father wouldn't be so stupid as to show everyone how much he thought of his youngest son. Or better, how little. No, he had to play safe so that everyone saw the image of a perfect father that James Potter presented so fabulously.

Harry didn't smile but walked up to his father anyway. He didn't want to think about what punishment he would get if he didn't play his role. And maybe he could pretend that his father really wanted to help him on his first day of school.

Harry broke off that train of thoughts. The times when he still could lie to himself were over.

His father helped him to put his trunk into one of the compartments and then left. Harry only hoped that he didn't put any charm or hex on the door to prevent everyone from opening it.

Harry sat down and looked out of the window. There were lots of families saying goodbye to their children. Some mothers were crying, most fathers had a proud smile on their faces and the siblings who couldn't go to Hogwarts yet were throwing their brothers or sisters jealous glances or were hugging them madly.

Harry sighed and remembered the good time he had at Boris' house.

He hoped that the old man was all right and that he might be able to visit him again. He would have liked to go and visit him as he went shopping for his first school year but he had to follow his father everywhere, so couldn't really go to Knockturn Alley.

The train started moving.

And now Harry couldn't stop thinking about the sorting. He was scared, very much so. His father had talked to him the day before and warned him in no uncertain terms what would happen if he didn't get accepted in Gryffindor.

Harry could only partly stop the shaking of his hands.

It was as he had expected.

If he went into Ravenclaw, then his father would be less than pleased because it would bring shame on mum's old house.

With Hufflepuff, his father could only barely live because the Potters had been in that house few times before but it never had been a respected member of the family.

Considering that, his father would probably be happy with Hufflepuff, then.

He snorted.

And if he went into Slytherin…

Harry shuddered again.

And if he went into Slytherin then he would stand against everything his parents ever were and he shouldn't even try to come back to their house.

Harry sighed.

He really, really didn't want to be sorted because he knew that his chance to become a Gryffindor were slim to non-existent. He just wasn't brave and all what came with being sorted into the Lion House.

Harry only hoped that the test wasn't too hard and he could somehow make his way into Gryffindor without really having to be one.

But then he thought of Master Snape and what he said about Slytherins.

Master Snape also said that it wouldn't really matter which house he'd be in because he would help him anyway and that every house looked out for each other.

That was so confusing!

But even after a while the consequences of his sorting wouldn't stop running through his mind, and Harry resorted to his last possible distraction - he took out a book from his trunk. About potions, of course.

He managed to read about five pages before the door to his compartment slid open.

"Hey! May I sit here?"

Harry looked at the newly arrived boy who was standing in the door.

He had black eyes, black hair and his dark skin seemed to complete the look.

"Of course," Harry said and tried to figure out how to behave around the newcomer. He never had friends since everyone who tried to befriend him was chased away by his brother the next minute.

But his brother wasn't there at the moment.

"I'm Blaise Zabini and you are?" The boy asked him and held out his hand.

"L…Harry Potter, a pleasure!" Harry said a bit unsure and shook the offered hand. After that, he considered what he was supposed to do next.

"Can I sit down?" asked the other boy a bit amused and Harry blushed at his own awkwardness.

_Why does it seem so hard to get to know someone?_

"Of course. I'm sorry, I was just a little surprised, that's all." Harry said at last and was relieved when the boy didn't leave.

_What to do now? Possible friend is alone with me in one room. Names already exchanged. What comes now?_ Harry frantically wondered.

"So are you excited to go to Hogwarts? Have you already been there? I mean, your father is a teacher there, right?" The boy, Blaise, asked Harry. Harry was just very thankful that the other boy seemed to know how to start a conversation.

_Well…probably he and everyone else in this train._

"I am really excited," More like being totally terrified. "And no, I haven't been there yet. My father wanted me to see Hogwarts for the first time like everyone else does - from the boats on the way across the lake. And there isn't anything really interesting anyway."

_Besides one of the best libraries in the whole country._

"That makes sense. So you haven't seen the library yet, right? I heard it was one of the biggest in the UK! I'm also really curious how the teachers are. I mean, I already heard a bit from the elder students and I think the worst teachers are Binns and Pot… Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

Harry just smiled and felt himself relaxing. Books and subjects. He could talk about that. He was kind of relieved that he wasn't the only one who sometimes had problems to find the right words.

"Don't worry. I've already heard that my father can be pretty …biased, I'd say. But let's not talk about my family, because I fear that my brother isn't much better." Harry thought that was a nice way to stop any conversations about his family without seeming to be too forceful about it.

"Well, we can't really judge people by their families, now can we?" Blaise replied and for the next two hours they talked about the different classes, their favourite foods and all the normal things kids talked about. At least Harry hoped that these were the normal topics as he felt comfortable enough with them.

"So…do you know what house you'll be in yet?" asked Blaise suddenly and Harry went stiff. Blaise didn't seem to notice and went on. "I mean, I don't really know either but I think I'd probably be in Slytherin or Ravenclaw. My whole family had been in one of these two houses and I think I fit in there. What about you?"

This time, Blaise noticed that Harry didn't look as interested as before but didn't say anything and just waited. Harry was deep in thoughts until he finally smiled unsurely at Blaise.

"I don't really know yet. The thing is that my family expects me to be in Gryffindor and I know that this is the last house I'd be probably in, next to Hufflepuff maybe. But I really don't want to disappoint them. Do you know how we get sorted? Maybe I can try to look like I belong in Gryffindor so that my family will be happy?"

The moment Harry said it, he knew he shouldn't have. What would Blaise think of him now? First he told him that Gryffindor was the last house for him and then asked him a way to be there anyway. He was far more desperate than he had thought.

Blaise just stared at him for a few moments with his black eyes, then blinked. "I don't know how we get sorted. It's a big secret no one would talk about. Of course, I got a lot of suggestions about what it could be but none of them were realistic. But I fear that there is no way for you to become a Gryffindor when you aren't one. Certainly your family will understand."

This time Harry was sure that Blaise noticed the shiver that seemed to wreck his whole body. He closed his eyes, then looked warily back at his new friend, a small smile on his lips to assure him that everything was fine. Realizing that the look Blaise was giving him was that of open sympathy, Harry thought that the other boy could probably understand the Potter family's disposition about their son being sorted in Slytherin.

"Don't worry too much. You can't really change anything about it. And maybe you'll be in Gryffindor anyway." Blaise tried to cheer Harry up and got a thankful smile in return. But the small smile still wasn't enough for the boy, so he tried to think of something that would keep Harry's thoughts off the sorting.

"Ah! I just remembered a question I had about one of the potions that were in our books. I think it was on page 48. Could you please explain to me why I have to add the flobberworms. I really don't understand why we would need such useless things in a potion."

"Useless things?" Harry stared at him, scandalized. "Flobberworms are one of the most important ingredients in potions because…"

Blaise just smiled as Harry forgot his disquieting thoughts when talking about his favourite subject. Harry recognized the tactic to distract him from his troubles and was again very thankful that Blaise sat down in his compartment and no where else.

He finally had a friend!

* * *

_FINALLY! I'm so sorry (again and again) that you had to wait so long for a new chapter...but I hope that it was worth the wait :)  
And I got 96 REVIEWS!!!! 96!!!!! WOW! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!_

_Big thanks to oketsu, moonlight guardian, sanders1800, Ivy0293, katty, ImmortalTigeress, Gabwr, sami1010220, litlittledragon, TheTrueSilver, cheekymonkey1994, HarrySlytherinson, Trixie Black, Tara-Yo, Naomi Maxwell, Cloud Spinner, tati1, Hope, chris, Estheriana, Cheezewizz, nemy08, AISCHILOS, childofthekng, page-write, nocturnal, Lasitar, Samantha Aswad (do you always use the name of others?), Persephone of Peridot, Ruks, Emerald Shadow Phoenix, Memories-of-the-Shadows, irat, Mischief Maker In Disguise, Findirector, jka1, Kathleen LaCorneille, Hinata, Ten Toes, allwaysandforever, PaddycakePadfoot, PSTurner, Simal, miadragonlover, TanyaPotter, Crazym0i, JoriWinter, lucifer0901, meiren, Shadow Eclipse, Khenmes, ladyBlue Wolf, ang, emo fox ATTACK, A.E.T., snapefan4, Kazekage Jade, lostwriterforlife, Doro-chan, cau, Drajl719, Fae Child19, AmethystSiri, Xenia Marvolo, esmeralda, Drahme, Cute Blue Eyes, jen, Living-Jinx, momocolady, Denae, 3-left-turns, rayne114, Chris K., Merlynne, Siamh, Fate, Aamaya, AJ-Plays-With-Fyre, Softness, Teenage Dirtbag or my life, Ivanova, captian jacks grl, risi, ChildOfThePhoenix, alwaysariyana, Adriem, Kateri1, Shiruba Fokkusu, Heavenly Dancer, Vellouette, Goddess-of-Death21, deathstreet91, flower123, BrightFeather and Lightstream_

_Thank you again and please leave a review!!!_

_Chau, Sam :)_


	14. Chapter Thirteen

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:**__ AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **__Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in Italics are Harry's thoughts._

_And just some notes, because there has been some questions:  
Blaise is in the same year as Harry.  
There won't be any pairings for a long, long time (come on, they are just 11)_

_And now this chapter is beta read, too...thanks to my new beta reader Brightfeather!!! (Great author, too. Read her stories!!! Thery are really, really good:)). And thanks again to anyone who asked to beta for my:)_

_But now...ENJOY!!  
Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 13**_

Harry was standing in the Great Hall and was waiting for his turn to be called. All the other new students were staring at the ceiling. It showed a beautiful night sky with blinking stars and the moon. Blaise was standing next to Harry, looking at the misty ghosts which had followed them into the Great Hall. The Great Hall was really a magnificent place and Harry tried to see as many details as possible. But he couldn't keep the thoughts of the Sorting out of his head.

To be sorted, he had to put on an old hat and wait till it would shout the name of the new house. Harry only hoped that he could talk the hat into putting him into Gryffindor. His new friend, Blaise, who would probably one of the last ones to get sorted, had already promised that they would stay friends no matter the house. Harry was very thankful for that because he had feared that he would lose his first friend after not even a whole day of friendship.

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud voice calling his name.

"Potter, Harry"

Harry jumped. He hadn't even noticed that the sorting had already started.  
He walked swiftly to Professor McGonagall to put the hat on. Harry couldn't help but notice that all the people were suddenly talking.  
"_Harry_ Potter? I didn't know that Professor Potter has another son!"  
"He's probably going to be in Gryffindor. I mean, his whole family is already here!"

Oh yes, they were Gryffindors. And his father had just talked to him again when they had waited in a small chamber to be sorted. His father had told him in no uncertain terms that it was in his best interest to be in Gryffindor and that he shouldn't even think about getting sorted into another house.

But Harry didn't think anymore of the conversation when the hat was put onto his head.

**_Well that is interesting to look at._**

_'Thank you, I think',_ said Harry unsure and wondered what the Sorting Hat saw in his head that would interest a thousand year old hat. But then he wondered how it was possible for the Hat to look through his Occlumency walls.

**_I would really appreciate it if I might look into your head, young Potter._**

_'You can't?'_ asked a confused Harry, who had been sure that the Hat could see into his head. Carefully, he opened his walls a little bit, so that the hat could have a look. If Harry hadn't been sure that it was necessary for the Sorting, he probably wouldn't have allowed it. With a deep breath, Harry opened a part of his "wall" and felt something rush in.

**_You are really very interesting. Haven't seen something like that for a long while. I really didn't expect to see such a sad life in a Potter._**

Did Harry just imagined it or sounded the Hat really sad? But he couldn't really care about that because the Hat should just hurry up and put him into Gryffindor.

**_And that is where you are very wrong, young Potter._**

_'What do you mean?'_ asked Harry unsure. Surely there couldn't be a doubt that he **had** to become a Gryffindor. Harry had thought long about which house he wanted to be in and came to the conclusion that it had to be Gryffindor. And now, the hat itself had said that Harry had had anything but a happy life and so he couldn't want to make it even worse.

**_You may think I am cruel to put you where I'm going to put you but there is no other way. I'm sorry, young Potter, but you don't belong into Hufflepuff. You may think that Gryffindor would be the best place for you to be in but you don't have the carefree attitude and sometimes thoughtless bravery that comes with being a Gryffindor. Ravenclaw may be a good place for you to be in but you've seen too much and you don't look for knowledge only for knowledge's sake. You are always already thinking of what a spell or potion could be useful for and you don't trust easily and it will take a lot of time to really have the bravery to trust someone. And believe me that the Ravenclaws wouldn't understand that. I know that you will find your true friends in the house where you belong and never doubt that._**

"But…" Harry didn't know what to think. He was really scared about his father's reaction but at the same time he remembered what Master Snape told him about Slytherin. That they always took care of their own and that he was always there for them. That Slytherin was a big family and that no one would be left out. And maybe Blaise would also be sorted into Slytherin.

And that was what Harry wanted. He wanted to belong to a group without fearing that he didn't fit in. He wanted to be accepted. And if he found friends and a mentor, wouldn't they save and guard him from his father? Wouldn't he finally be free of that man? And then he could show him and everyone else that he wasn't just the little brother of Jonathan Potter, but his own person.

**_I see that you aren't so much against Slytherin as you at first thought after you were confronted with your father again. And this thirst to prove yourself and your want for real friends makes it clear…there is no other place for you but…_**

**_SLYTHERIN!_**

Harry sat stock still. He couldn't move, wasn't even sure if he was still breathing. But he was honest enough with himself to know that he was scared shitless. Even if he really thought that he would find his place in Slytherin he couldn't help but be scared.

_What will father think?_

Harry really didn't need an answer to that question…because he was sure that he would feel it so much more than hear it. He shuddered.

He took one last breath, schooled his features in an emotionless mask and took the Sorting Hat off his head and put it back on the chair. Showtime.

Only now did he notice that the Great Hall, which had been so loud when his name had been called, was now ghostly silent. He ignored the stunned looks everyone was giving him, gave a short, pointed look to McGonagall so that she would close her mouth and walked slowly to the Slytherin table.

Even the Slytherins were so stunned that a few were looking at him with an open mouth, but no one made a move to let him sit next to them or maybe clap for the new student like they it for everyone else.

"What the …?" was suddenly screamed and only the hand of one of Jonathan's friends prevented the loss of points for swearing. But it had an immediate effect. It was as if everyone could move again and everyone was starting to talk at the same time.

No one clapped.

Still none of the Slytherins made a move to let him sit on the table and Harry just stared at them, till he walked with cold determination to the end of the table and sat down and ignored everyone around him. He took a calming breath and told himself that in a short while he wouldn't be alone anymore. He didn't look up to see his father's angry face and he couldn't care less about the stares he received.

He really didn't understand people. Normally no one was paying attention to him and most people didn't even remember that James Potter had two sons. And suddenly something unexpected happened and everyone was interested in him.

Somehow he didn't think that even one person wanted him to be in Slytherin. He himself didn't, that was for sure now. And even his new friend Blaise didn't look really happy. Harry looked a bit more closely and saw that Blaise looked worried.

Worried for him?

Blaise kept looking at his father and then back to him. He gave Blaise a small wave with his hand and the other boy waved back, now a smile on his face. But then he looked again to his father and Harry looked away. He didn't want to see the questioning look Blaise would send him.

So maybe he wouldn't be alone. But what if Blaise wasn't sorted into Slytherin but Ravenclaw? Maybe then Harry could somehow get resorted but in all of Hogwarts' history that had never happened before. And it also wouldn't make things any easier. He sighed and just wished that the hat would suddenly say that it all had been a big joke and that Harry should go and sit with the Gryffindors.

Nothing happened.

Finally it seemed that at least the teachers were a little bit over their shock, because McGonagall asked loud for the next student to come forward. Harry didn't even hear the name, because he made the mistake to look up and right into his father's eyes.

He knew that 'angry' wouldn't really be enough to describe his father's look. But even he hadn't expected such a hateful, livid look. He was not only mad, he was furious.

Harry looked away and tried not to tremble too noticeably. He thought that for the fact that he was terrified, he did a pretty good job. Not that it would matter because everyone had already judged him because of his name. And now some more knew him.

Harry just tried to hold on the hope that the Sorting Hat had been right and he would find friends like he hoped before. But he couldn't help but doubt that because hope had never done anything good to him.

* * *

Severus Snape couldn't take his eyes off his new Slytherin. 

Yes, Slytherin.

Potter had somehow managed to talk the hat into putting him into the Slytherin. Because there couldn't be any other explanation why he had a **Potter** in **his** Slytherin! It just wasn't done. It must be against the law of the universe to put a Potter into Slytherin. It's like a Snape in Gryffindor…it just didn't happen. And yet, there sat a Potter on the Slytherin table after the hat had proclaimed loudly for all to hear that that was were he belonged.

There had to be a mistake.

Maybe some of the hats non-existent****brain cells were drowned when he was last washed. 

No…that couldn't be. The hat had all different charms on it so that nothing would be able to hurt it.

But there had to be an explanation and one that didn't involve a Potter belonging to his house.

It didn't even sound right!

_Hey, I am Harry Potter, I am a Slytherin!_

No! It did not sound right!

Severus Snape shook his head and then looked again at the Potter sitting at the table. He was sitting alone, no surprise there. But he didn't even seem to be too sad about sitting at that table. The Slytherin table.

Maybe…

Severus looked at his hated colleague. James Potter was sitting in his chair and eating totally concentrated his meal. Severus cursed himself that he hadn't looked at his reaction when the hat had called out Slytherin, but he had been too shocked himself.

Maybe all of that was a plan to spy on his Slytherins. He wouldn't put it past James Potter to send his own son to Slytherin so that he could spy on them. It was no secret in the castle that _Professor_ Potter had a strong hatred for his Slytherins. Strong enough to send his own son to Slytherin?

It had happened before.

Mind you, not the spying part but there had been students who had argued with the hat in which house they should go. And Potter Junior **had** talked a pretty long time with the hat. Maybe the hat had wanted to put him into Gryffindor but the boy argued till he had been put into Slytherin.

He really didn't understand why James Potter would like to see his son in Slytherin just for spying but maybe the old Gryffindor already saw the next Deatheaters in his house. As if his Slytherins would be so stupid as to fall for such a trick. But he would make sure that young Potter won't be very successful….

How Potter even could think that he could be cleverer than him, he'd never know.

Idiot.

But he had never said that he understood the minds of Gryffindors.

* * *

Harry was more or less relieved. Until now, none of the Slytherins tried to hex him and no one had said a word to him. Most would probably think that this was also a bad thing, but he knew that it could be much worse. Till now he didn't have to hear name calling and for that he was thankful. 

Maybe it was just in the beginning and then the others would see that he was one of them. That he wasn't on some secret mission for his father to spy on them or such nonsense. Really! It wasn't really his fault that the hat was such a stubborn …object. Maybe they would see that he wasn't that bad and not out to kill them all. That he was a Slytherin.

But he couldn't help but already feel a bit left out. Blaise had been made a Slytherin but instead of sitting next to him, another first-year, Draco Malfoy, had waved Blaise over to him. They seem to know each other from before and as Harry saw Blaise's dilemma he just smiled and mouthed that Blaise could sit with Draco.

And so his new friend, probably already ex-friend, sat now with another. Draco Malfoy. One of the families his father hated with such a passion that it was frightening. So Draco would probably hate him, too, and then Blaise would abandon him because he wouldn't understand why he couldn't make his father behave better.

Harry sighed.

The meal ended with a few strange remarks from Dumbledore, but Harry didn't really pay him any mind. Besides that he wouldn't set foot into the third floor corridor. He really didn't want to die yet, thank you very much.

Harry concentrated more on his surroundings and where the Slytherin prefect was leading them. He was happy that he was at least used to such a big castle so that he knew what to look for to keep his orientation.

He became calmer by the minute the further they walked into the dungeons. He knew that the moment he was in the common room, his father wouldn't be able to hurt him…or at least not today. And maybe he could talk to his new classmates.

And even if they needed a bit more time, he could at least talk to Master Snape. The man had told him that his door would be always open to him…and even if he didn't know that he was Harry, he was now a Slytherin.

And Professor Snape had said that Slytherin was a big family whose members took care of each other. That he'd never be alone and everything would be fine and he would be cared for even if everyone else would hate him.

He relaxed a bit more. Yes, everything would be fine. The professor had never lied to him before so there was no reason why he should lie about such an important thing. He would only have to give the other pupils a bit more time to get used to him. He knew that a Potter in Slytherin was pretty unusual.

Then why did he still feel like breaking out in tears?

Finally the group of Slytherin stopped in front of a stone wall. The prefect looked strictly at the first years. "The password for this week is _Draught of the living death_. If you forget it, you'll have to wait outside until someone lets you in. You only have to say the password to the stone wall… you really don't have to scream or anything." He ended and threw a meaningful glance to one of the second year girls which blushed under the snickering she heard. "When we are inside, Professor Snape will tell the first years more about Slytherin and where your rooms are."

The prefect turned around, said the password and the stone wall opened to admit them in. Just before they could enter the common room, steps from two people were heard behind them and Harry tensed. He knew the sound of these steps.

One was Master Snape and the other one couldn't be anyone else but his father. No! Harry didn't want to face him now, when he knew that his rage was still very fresh. He hurried to the common room but before he could even see completely inside the room his father called him.

"Harry! I think we have to talk."

He closed his eyes for a second and slowly turned around and tried to avoid looking at his father's face. Instead he gazed at the face of his new head of house. Master Snape's face was a mask he had never seen before and his dark eyes were hard and cold. There was no warmth in them and Harry could only barely stop the shiver.

"Father. Can we talk tomorrow? I fear Professor Snape will hold his speech for the first years right now and I really have to listen to it." Harry said in a nearly even voice which made him proud. At least he didn't show that he was totally scared.

"Is it alright if I talk to my son right now? We have a few things to discuss that can't wait till tomorrow and I'm sure that the other boys can fill him in." His father said confidently.

If Harry hadn't been totally freaked out before, he was now.

_Please, that can't happen. Professor Snape had promised that he would take care of us!_

_He promised!_

But Master Snape didn't know that he was Lucas.

Not yet.

And as he looked at his professor's face he already knew his answer.

"Of course, I see nothing wrong with it. I'm sure that the other would be … delighted to tell him everything later." The potion master said in a deep tone and as he looked at Harry again there was a mean smirk on his lips that never had been directed at him before.

"Thank you, Professor." Said James Potter, took Harry's arm much harder than necessary and lead him away.

Harry couldn't help but look at his head of house shocked and betrayed until his father pulled him around a corner and all he could see were cold, dark stone walls…

* * *

_This time, I won't even apologize...but just so you know. I've been abroad for four months so it was kind of hard to upload anything...sorry. (okay...so I apologize anyway)_

_But I want to thank everyone that reviewed me! Even now, after such a long time!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really love you for that and it was the point were I told myself...sit down on you , write and update...FAST!...so here you've had finally the new chapter :)_

_A big thank you to: _

_The next chapter will be very dark as many can guess...but I'll write more of that at the beginning of the next chapter so that you can decide if you want to read it or not...and I think the rating will be changed to "M" with the next chapter..._

_But for now, I'm more interested in your opinion of this chapter so...PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Thanks a lot :)_

_Chau, Sam :)_


	15. Chapter Fourteen

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:**__ AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **__Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_And a really big, BIG __**THANK YOU**__ to Brightfeather for her wonderful beta reading!!! And she writes great stories, too. ;)_

_And a big thank you to all people who offered to beta read for me. Thank you very much :)_

_-_

_To this chapter...__**IMPORTANT!**_

_**Warnings:**__ Child Abuse, Violence, Dark!!!_

_Thank you for your patience...and now  
THE NEW CHAPTER :)_

_Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 14**_

Harry lay sobbing on the dungeon floor. It was a cold, dark, and damp place and normally he would have been anywhere but there. However there wasn't really any place he wanted to be at the moment, so he didn't care about his wet clothes or the hard floor or that he hadn't cried like he was crying now since he had been five years old.

But he hadn't been able to escape his father as he was taken deeper and deeper into the dungeons. So deep that Harry had had no idea where they had been. So deep until his father had been sure that no one would have been able to hear them even without silencing charms.

And no one had followed them.

No one had been there to save Harry or at least had **tried** to save him.

No one.

Harry tried not to think about what had happened, about what his father had done…

NO!

Not his father!

Harry punched the hard ground with as much strength as he had, which wasn't much. But it served the purpose to push any feelings he had had for his father as far away as he could.

James!

James Potter!

Professor Potter!

NOT his father!

His sobbing became harder as he tried in vain to push the pictures of the last hour out of his mind. He didn't want to think about what happened but every time he tried to think of something else, he could only think of Master Snape's cold eyes and ugly smirk. And even what his father had done to him was better than Master Snape's reaction to his plea.

So he tried to think of Boris and how he had helped him when he had been there. How he had had breakfast with the old man before they had worked on some potions. His breathing evened out, his sobbing stopped and he could stop crying. He took some more deep breaths until he was more or less sure that he could start thinking about leaving this torture room. It nearly worked until he opened his eyes and saw the ugly tattoo on his left arm.

He couldn't have stopped the tears even if he had wanted to. But he tried to clear his mind, to not think about anything that had happened. Anything would do. So Harry breathed steady in and out and after a while he could at least stop the shaking of his hands, if not the tears. Then he concentrated on the cold floor under him. It was hard, unforgiving, and chilly but **there**. When everything and everyone else had left him, the ground still stayed with him and that was something important. Anything that stayed with him had to be important because there weren't many things left.

He took a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes again, careful not to look at his arm again.

Where were his glasses?

**That** was something good to think about. Not why he had lost them, because that would be too touchy, but only where they were. He would need them before he could leave, so that no one would notice them missing and asking about them.

He looked around and saw them in a corner together with his robe and shirt. For a second he only stared at his things and asked himself why they were all together in one corner. And then he looked down on himself and noticed for the first time that he was naked from the waist up.

Again he could only stare at himself, trying to figure out why he had taken off his clothes. His tears made his gaze a bit blurred but he didn't even really notice that as he kept looking at his chest.

Of course.

His father had taken his glasses, robes, tie, and shirt.

And he had taken his scarf, too.

Harry managed to stop crying as he thought of his scarf.

It was a nice scarf.

A **really** nice scarf.

It was green and silver and warm and fluffy and had even a snake on it.

A snake.

He couldn't stop his eyes from looking at his left arm.

But this time he didn't start crying. He just kept looking with empty eyes on his forearm. Harry didn't know how long he just stared without thinking but after a while he couldn't stop the memories penetrating his mind.

-

_"How could you? I told you time and time again what would happen if you wouldn't obey me!" _

_His fa … James stopped for a second to repeat the hex he had used for the last ten minutes and Harry couldn't stop the scream that escaped his mouth. _

_His back must be already red from the many strokes he had gotten. _

_But red was a nice colour. _

_He remembered that he had a lamp once that would throw a nice, small light to his bed so that he could find his way from the bathroom to his bed without problems. It had been red, too, and helped him a lot. So red was a really nice colour. _

_Gryffindor's house colour was also red. _

_But he wasn't a Gryffindor. _

_And he didn't have his lamp anymore because it had broken when he had been seven years old and his father hadn't repaired it for him. _

_The hex was spoken again. _

_"You DEATHEATER! MURDERER! You killed Lily and instead of trying to become better you become a DEATHEATER!" _

_He felt five new strokes hitting his back. _

_In the back of his head he asked himself if that made him a Gryffindor now, because a big part of him was red. Because the many gashes on his back must made him look quite red.  
He tried to make out the exact colour of his blood from the spots on the ground next to him and if they were the same shade of red as the Gryffindor red. _

_And then he asked himself why his blood wasn't green, if he was a Slytherin. _

_That was a really interesting question. _

_Should he have green blood? _

_Did the other Slytherin have green blood? _

_Why was his blood red? _

_Maybe it was because his father had been a Gryffindor. That would be the logical conclusion. He nodded a bit to himself, pleased that he had figured out this mystery. _

_Suddenly a hand grabbed his hair and forced his head up. _

_"Do you even listen to me? Or is it too much to ask from a traitor? A murderer? A Slytherin? Or is it that you are really a Deatheater?" _

_His head was dropped again but he didn't even feel it. His gaze was caught by the drops of red liquid on the ground which were suddenly closer to him than a few seconds before. Then he noticed that his head was back on the hard ground. _

_How __**did**__ his head come to lie on the floor? _

_Oh…  
Now, he even __**saw**__ red. _

_"But maybe that's what you wanted, isn't it, __**Deatheater**__? Not only did you kill your mother but now you also plan to kill muggleborns, isn't that right?" _

_Harry just lay there and asked himself if the dungeon walls have always been red. Not really red, mind you, but there were some places where the walls had a red shade on them. Or maybe they just seemed red to him because he saw everything in red now.. _

_"ISN'T THAT RIGHT?" _

_Harry jumped as he was hit again. And again. And again. _

_His father talked again. _

_About how every point he would win for Slytherin would mean one strike for him when he was in detention with his father. _

_When. _

_Not if. _

_Then, there was a long pause. _

_He could only hear the hard breathing of … James and the sounds of him searching something in his robes. _

_Suddenly his beautiful view on the red walls was hindered by a small bottle. He tried to look around it but he couldn't really move his head so he had to look at the ugly, small bottle. _

_"Do you know what this is? No? I didn't think so. It's a sealing potion. You put it on your signature and it will make it impossible for anyone to change it…or remove it." _

_There was a pause when James put the bottle a bit away from him and Harry started to count the bricks of the walls. First he would count all the bricks and then the bricks which had this nice red shade on them. He didn't even tried to listen to the man they called his father when he started to talk again. Still he heard some words like "Deatheater, Dark Mark, You-know-Who, impossible to remove" and then he tensed because the man took out his wand again. _

_33, 34, 35 _

_The man who was here with him took his left arm roughly. He didn't even try to get out of the hard grip. He was only interested in the bricks in the wall. _

_38, 39, 40 _

_A whispered incantation. _

_41, 42, 4… _

_Harry screamed. _

_Suddenly everything that had been such a nice red colour faded to black. _

_But before he lost his consciousness completely, he heard the man's words next to his ear. _

_"I hope you're happy now."_

_-_

He didn't feel happy.

He just stared at his left arm.

At the tattoo…at the _scar_ on his arm.

Because there was nothing else on his arm than a scar which James created when he poured the sealing potion on the freshly made cut.

Harry asked himself how it came that his… James knew the incantation of that curse.

He shook his head and didn't even try to figure that out. What was important how he would go back to the common room in his condition. But then he noticed that he didn't see red anymore.

Of course. His fath…that man would heal any injuries that Harry wouldn't be able to hide under his clothes.

Slowly, like in trance, he walked to the corner where his clothes and glasses were. Then he stood there for a minute just staring at the wall. He didn't remember how many bricks he had counted before. He shook his head to clear his thoughts.

What should he do now?

Master Snape.

He had to go to Master Snape.

Master Snape had promised that Slytherins took care of each other.

Yes, the man hadn't helped him when his father came to get him but he couldn't have possibly known what James would do to him.

And Master Snape had been probably still looking for Lucas, right?

And he had promised.

Still Harry couldn't shake of the numb feeling that had enveloped his whole body.  
And as he finally put on his clothes he wasn't really sorry that he didn't feel anything.  
He was still so numb that he didn't even flinch when his shirt made contact with the few gashes his… professor had left him with. After the shirt, he put on his tie than the robes and finally his glasses.

Harry turned around, took a few steps to the door.

Then he asked himself what he was doing on the floor, on his knees.

He tried to shake of the dizziness which probably came from the loss of blood.

After a few minutes he managed to stand and walk out of the room, even if a bit slowly.

As he was on the door, he put his hand on the door frame to stabilize himself a bit and looked back into the room.

There wasn't any red anymore.

There wasn't any blood on the floor.

And if he hadn't looked at his arm on the door frame, he might have convinced himself that everything had been just a nightmare. But his sleeve had slid down a bit and there was the ta…**scar** on his left arm. He just looked at it for a while but finally put his arm down and the scar vanished behind a piece of cloth.

And as he finally tried to find his way to Professor Snape's office he just hoped that no one would **ever** see the Dark Mark on his left forearm.

* * *

_FAST UPDATE!!! Wasn't it:D  
And all thanks to Brightfeather!!!  
__But another big **THANK YOU** goes to all my reviewers!!! Thank you soo much, guys! You keep me writing on :)  
You haven't left review, yet? NOW you've got a chance to write anything you ever wanted to tell me!!! I'm really curious, so please, ask/tell me whatever you think of my story :).__  
But thanks a lot for reading anyway and I really hope, you liked the chapter, even if it has been so dark.  
Thank you, Sam_

_And have a wonderful weekend!!!!!_


	16. Chapter Fifteen

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:**__ AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **__Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in Italics are Harry's thoughts._

_And again a really big, BIG __**THANK YOU**__ to Brightfeather for her wonderful help with this chapter!!! _

_And thanks again so much for your patience...  
And here is the new chapter..._

_Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 15**_

Exhausted, Severus opened the door his office and stepped inside. It had been a long day for him. In the morning, he had been still at Snape Manor with his son and telling him for the third time to pack everything he needed before he had brought him to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters so that he could travel with his friends.

Of course, he hadn't stayed long at the platform because no one of his students wanted to see a teacher earlier than they had to. But he had taken his time, saying goodbye to his son even if they would see each other again soon.

Severus had had another reason to stay longer at the platform. Lucas.

He had looked out for the small boy all the time, even when he had been saying goodbye to his son but he never had seen hide or hair of Lucas, to his great disappointment. He tried to tell himself that he probably had only overlooked him because he hadn't been very tall and there had been lots and lots of people and families on the platform. Or maybe, he had arrived too late to see the boy slip into the train.

He had seen the Boy-Who-Lived with his grandmother fawning over him. It hadn't been hard to spot the boy. Many heads had turned to the same direction at the same time so Severus hadn't really needed to look where all the commotion had been. But he had looked anyway and had seen Neville trying to disappear into the train without much notice, which, of course, had been quite pointless.

But Severus had been pleasantly surprised. He had feared that Longbottom might be a spoilt little kid but it had seemed like his grandmother had tried to make a decent wizard out of the boy. But still, he had already guessed that the boy would be a Gryffindor and at the sorting he had been proved right. The boy had had the hat on his head for only a short time until he had been declared a Gryffindor.

Lucas hadn't been declared anything. He hadn't been there.

The bad feeling Severus had been having when he had apparated to Hogwarts, had proved right, too. He had tried to ignore it and had done the last preparation before the start-of-term banquet. And when it had been time for the new pupils to be sorted he had looked for Lucas more than twice but hadn't seen him.

The last boy had been called and sorted into Slytherin but there had been no sign of Lucas. No one named by the name of Lucas and no one that looked like him. There had been some children looking a bit like Lucas. But the moment Severus had seen their faces, his hope had vanished every time anew. He had even thought that Lucas had gotten his hair cut because he had seen a boy of similar build But then the boy had been called to the front to get sorted and it hadn't been Lucas at all, but Theodore Nott, who had been made a Ravenclaw.

Severus had stopped searching for a second as the boy had sat down at the Ravenclaw table because the potions master had been sure that Nott would be sorted to Slytherin and become one of his newest snakes. And little later there had been the next shock when the youngest Potter had been sorted into his house. That boy was probably even worse than his father and brother if he had interpreted the boy's actions correctly. He hadn't even been respectful enough to pay attention to the Sorting and the other pupils. No, he hadn't even looked up until he had been called but then he had walked up to that chair as if no one could touch him and he was all alone in this world and no one worthy enough to look him into the eyes.

And then the boy had been sorted into Slytherin.

His house.

But even that wouldn't have been that bad if Lucas had been there. If he at least had been in Hogwarts. Merlin, Severus wouldn't even have cared if the boy had been made a Gryffindor. But he hadn't been there and Severus couldn't help but think that it might have been his fault.

He should have talked longer to the boy and gotten him to trust and confide in him. But he had thought that there would be more time; that Lucas wouldn't just suddenly leave and go back to his _home._

Now he was just sad because he thought that this misjudgement had been the reason why Lucas hadn't been allowed to Hogwarts. Somehow, his relatives must have stopped him from coming here and Severus didn't know how he could get in contact with Lucas again. All of his owls which he had sent to Lucas had come back unopened.

How many mistakes did he have to make until he stopped making such big errors in judgement?

His gaze unwillingly fell to his left forearm where one of his greatest sins lay covered by his sleeve.

He had been young when he had taken the Dark Mark. He had though that he had known what he was getting into, but he hadn't even understood what it meant to be a Death Eater until it had been too late. Back then, Severus had thought he had the answer to everything. Yes, he had been more clever than most of his class-mates but he hadn't been anything against the Dark Lord. He even had underestimated the initiation. Many in Slytherin had known that the spell to conjure up the Dark Mark was Mordsmorde. And he had assumed that this would be also the spell to bind himself to the Dark Lord. He had even researched to spell so that he had known what he was getting himself into but he had been wrong, so wrong.

Oh, he had known that it would hurt. He had tried the spell on a rat in the dungeons and had seen what it did to the skin and how it had been branded into it. When he had been sure that the wound could be healed with normal potions, he had even tried it once on himself so that he would know how much it would hurt and so could withstand it on his initiation.

But the moment he had knelt in front of the Dark Lord and had given him his left arm, everything had changed to the unexpected. The pain hadn't been anywhere close to the pain his self-inflicted faked "Dark Mark" had been weeks before but had been much worse.  
And "Mordmorde" hadn't been the word spoken from the dark wizard's lips. No, it had been something in Parseltounge, the language only the Dark Lord knew how to speak.

He had thought that he had researched the mark thoroughly and that the Dark Mark would be more like a normal tattoo with a small connection charm to the Dark Lord so that he could summon the Death Eater. A spell, a bit of pain and done. But no, the Dark Lord hadn't even used "Mordsmorde" like he had thought but a spell in Parseltongue that no one could understand. It hadn't been only a bit painful, but at the time one of the most painful experiences he ever had had. And it hadn't been over, no. Not only could the Dark Lord summon him painfully at will but could also make his displeasure known through the mark with more pain. And because the spell had been in Parseltongue, there was no chance for him to ever get rid of the horrible thing branded into his skin.

Severus shook his head.

He shouldn't be thinking of himself. He should try to figure out how to find Lucas.  
He had been disappointed when he hadn't seen the boy in the Great Hall at the Sorting but what must have the boy felt when it had been clear that he wouldn't be able to come to Hogwarts? When he hadn't been able to see the school for the first time from one of the boats? Or when he didn't have the chance to see the bewitched ceiling with its glittering stars for the first time? Or that he couldn't hear his name called out and be sorted with the Sorting Hat?

Suddenly, Severus' thoughts came to a stop. He was frowning as he began thinking about that piece of information. Why hadn't Lucas' name been on the list? But maybe Lucas hadn't even been his right name and he hadn't even trusted Boris and Severus enough to let him know the right name. But hadn't he had been sure that Lucas was his right name? Maybe he had another name, like a nickname and chose that name for himself. Maybe he had felt more comfortable with that name instead of his real name and that was why he had used it.

Severus didn't want to think about the possibility that he hadn't trusted them enough because it hurt just a bit too much.

Or maybe his relatives really hadn't let him leave the house to attend Hogwarts.  
Who knows what had happened when he had returned to these monsters?

Severus was really worried for his self-announced charge and couldn't stop thinking what could have happened.

He tried to recall if Professor McGonagall had looked sad at same point. As if she had known that there should have been a name more on the list but he couldn't recall it. Albus had been the same like always, too cheerful for his own good.

Who else…

Trelawney wouldn't know anything that had to do with real people, so no. Hagrid couldn't hide a secret if his life depended on it and he looked all the time cheerful. And there had been Potter. Even when thinking of this man, Severus couldn't stop to sneer.

Oh yes.

The second Potter.

Why did Potter had to have two sons who attended Hogwarts and Lucas couldn't make it?  
And a Potter in Slytherin…he really didn't want to think about that right now.  
He had told his new snakes to be careful around the new boy because he could be a possible spy for his father because everyone knew about the hatred James Potter had for Slytherins. His son and godson had looked at him a bit strangely at that comment because it wasn't really in accord with his normal rules concerning Slytherin house.

Normally, he would welcome everyone in Slytherin and told them that it didn't matter where they came from or what blood they were. That they were all Slytherins and that this house will be their family. Some years ago, he also had to tell them to take care of each other because the other houses hated Slytherin. But thanks to _Professor_ Potter, most pupils stopped thinking that way because if they based a whole house on one person, they would have to start thinking about associating with Gryffindors, too. Mind you, it hadn't been easy but the changes had been gradually and now the Slytherins were nearly as much part of the school as before the rise of the Dark Lord.

But it had been strange for Adrian and Draco to hear such a warning against one of their one because normally Slytherins stuck together. But maybe it hadn't been such a big surprise, because both had grown up being told how hateful and biased James Potter and his son were. So even if he normally never said a word against a new Slytherin, they would understand why he was so cautious of this particular one…

But he had to stop and see how Potter would behave in the future.

Thinking about Potter, Severus had to think about the betrayed look he thought he had seen in Potter's eyes when he had allowed James Potter to take the boy away. He couldn't stop but thinking that there might have been something wrong but then he shook his head.

It was only natural that Potter wanted to speak to his son. He would have probably done the same if Adrian had been sorted into Gryffindor. But he still should go and have a look in the common room and see if the new Slytherin was back, yet. He hoped so, because it was already after curfew and he had no wish to take points off of Slytherin…but may be he could give him a detention with Filch.

Well that was a nice thought. Another Potter to torture in detentions. Another mindless Gryffindor.

Stop, Severus!

He is a Slytherin!

Even if it was really a hard thing to get used to. He was a Slytherin.

A Slytherin with the surname "Potter".

And no Lucas.

Lucas would be grateful to be here. Lucas wouldn't ignore everyone around him and not even trying to talk to the other Slytherins. Lucas wouldn't have this strange feeling on him that he felt when he came close to Potter. It was like a feeling that told him something wasn't right about the boy and his instincts hadn't left him hanging once. And the only thing he could expect from an eleven year old Potter that couldn't be right, were his motives. Why else would he end up in Slytherin with both his father and brother in Gryffindor? No, there had to be something wrong and he would be dammed if he hadn't warned his little snakes of this danger he might possess.

In this moment Severus really didn't know if he had been so paranoid of the youngest Potter because of his father, because he felt something wasn't right with him or just because Lucas wasn't here.

* * *

While Professor Snape was thinking his dark thoughts about the youngest Potter and a plan to rescue Lucas, the little boy all of his thoughts were spinning around tried to make his way back to the common room. 

Lucas had been walking around for quite some time now. He didn't know how late it was, no idea where he had been and he had even less idea where he had to turn to arrive at the common room or Master Snape's office. But he had managed to find a corridor which could look like the corridor he had been in before he came to the corridor where the Slytherin common room had been. But he had thought that four times before so he hadn't had much hope for that because there weren't any portraits on the walls.

On the one hand, he was quite thankful for that because it meant that no one had seen him when he had fallen to his knees three times in a row and had kept stumbling through the corridors. But on the other hand, no one could give him directions to the common room or Master Snape's office.

At least, his senses had come back more and more and so he could walk without stumbling and think more clearly. Harry kept walking for a few more minutes until he came to a corridor which had more torches on the walls than the others he had been in. Hopeful that he was on the right track now, he kept on walking. He had to decide once more which direction to take when he came to another crossroad but it seemed that luck was finally on his side because he saw a door in the corridor he walked into.

When he was standing in front of it, he could clearly read the sign over the Slytherin symbol carved into the dark wood of the door.

**"Office of the current Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House**  
**Severus Snape"**

Harry felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Here he would at least find Master Snape and he could show him the way to the common room. Or maybe he would ask him if he was all right and he could tell him what his fa…Professor had done and everything would be all right.

He knocked on the door with a lighter heart not knowing that his potions master was in anything but a pleasant mood.

* * *

_Finally an update!!!  
I hope it was worth the wait and you enjoyed it :)_

_I also got a lot of questions concerning the "Dark Mark" and I hope that I answered the questions you had...if not, please ask in you review while logged in or leave your mail adress :)_

_I therefore want to thank everyone who reviewed to the last chapter...you are the best and I love you for it!!!_

_Neo: I'm really interested in hearing from you why you think I'm a sick person and all...I don't think it's nice to flame and not leave a possibility to answer...  
so please, write to me and tell me why you wrote so hateful about my story and also my readers...I hope that I may explain to you my reasons for writing such a story and maybe you'll understand it from my point of view..._

_To everyone...I already finished most parts of the next chapter so the next wait shouldn't be that long!!!! And I'm sorry again...I always am, I know ;)_

_Have a nice weekend and thank you for reading my story!!!_

_Chau, Sam_


	17. Chapter Sixteen

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

* * *

_**Summary:**__ AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **__Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in Italics are Harry's thoughts._

_A big thank you to my beta reader brightfeather!! Thank you so much for all the work you've put into reading and correcting this story!_

_HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!_

_And here the first chapter of the year :)_

_And a little warning! Please don't hit your computers because it's not its fault how some of the characters in this story act..._

_Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 16**_

Harry knocked on the door and waited for the call to come in. But there wasn't a call and nothing happened for a few moments. Harry hesitated for a few seconds until he knocked again, this time louder. He still couldn't hear anything but just as he was considering knocking again, the door was flung open and Master Snape stood in the door looking down on him with something of a hopeful glance that died immediately upon seeing him.

Harry tried to keep the hurt down. Of course he wouldn't want to see him. It was after all really late and he was the son of James Potter. No one had ever been happy to see him. Or at least no one who knew his last name. Before Harry could ask to be let in, Professor Snape closed the door behind him and made it perfectly clear that he had no wish to talk to him.

Harry tried to keep his posture. Nothing had been said, yet.

"Mister Potter! What are you doing outside of your common room after curfew?" Master Snape asked in a strict tone that made it all the more obvious that he wished Harry to be anywhere but here.

Harry swallowed once. 'You can do it, Harry. You'll just have to ask if you lets you in and then, when the door is closed and on one will be able to hear anything you can tell him what happened.'

"May I come in and speak to you, Sir?" He asked quietly the man in front of him. Harry tried to fight down the nervousness that had him captured. It was not that Master Snape would just let him stand alone in a corridor.

"Now? At this time of the day? I thought I just made it perfectly clear that it is after curfew and you should be grateful that I haven't docked points from Slytherin, yet." The potions master said in his cold voice and Harry found himself shivering. Before he could say something else or tried to explain that it was really important to talk to his head of house, Master Snape was speaking again.

"So, no, you may not."

And Harry's sunk at these words. He had really thought that this horrible day would end now. And he had never thought that Professor Snape would leave anyone standing in the corridor.

Or at least no one, which his last named wasn't Potter.

Harry tried to fight down the tears he felt coming and after just a few seconds he knew that there was no trace on his face that he had even thought about shedding a tear. He just had to do the same like he had done with the Dursleys and his father. 'Don't show any emotion!' He knew that he was quite good at that.

In the time, he had tried to compose himself, Master Snape had already continued speaking.

"As I already said is it after curfew and if it wasn't for the fact that today is the first night, I'd give you detention. But as you haven't been there for my speech when I told all the first years the rules, I'll explain it to you again."

Master Snape made it very much clear who he thought to be at fault for not being there…and it wasn't himself. Of course, it had always been Harry, why change now? And it didn't matter that it was the same person who had treated him differently and promised him to stand by him.

It did not matter.

"**If** you want to talk to me, my office will be open to all of my Slytherins after dinner." Harry could hear the part not said. "If", not "when". So the professor hoped that Harry never went to seek his advice. He stopped himself just in time from closing his eyes or making another sign of distress. "To everything else you have questions to, you may asked your class mates as I have no intention to talk to you longer than needed at the moment."

Oh, that stung. Harry tried to tell himself that this was Vernon in front of you, or James. He didn't want to think that this was the man who helped…no! DO NOT think of that time. It never happened.

"I understand, Sir." Harry answered with his neutral voice he had perfected over the years. No emotion, not even coldness could be detected in this tone of voice. It was the perfect way to answer anyone who wished to find a weakness.

"May you please show me the way to the common room? I fear my father didn't have the knowledge to show me where it is located." Harry just remembered in time to call James his father and not by title. He looked up to his head of house and waited if he was refused even this.

But it seemed that Master Snape at least granted him this because he knew that no first year would be able to find the common room.

"Follow me." The tall man said and walked by without glancing back, expecting to be followed without further ado. And so, Harry followed the man he had respected so much and asked himself why he had ever tried to put his trust in anybody. If the potions master had walked just a bit more slowly he might have heard the dolorous words spoken by his new student. "You promised."

* * *

Finally they stopped at a wall not too far away from Master Snape's office. The professor said in a bored tone. "You have to stay in front of this wall and say clearly but not too loudly _Draught of the living death_." 

At the last word, the wall opened up and the Slytherin common room came into view. It was a long underground room with dark stone walls and low ceiling. The light came from different round, greenish lamps which were hanging on chains in different spots from the ceiling. They would have given the room an hunted look if it hadn't been for the great fire crackling in one side of the room. The mantelpiece was rich in details and carved of the same dark stone that the room was made off. Harry saw several Slytherins sitting around the fire in carved chairs and there were other groups of chairs set back from the fire.

"I hope that you won't need me to find the way into the room." Master Snape said dryly behind him when he made no move to walk into the room. Instead of waiting for an answer, the potions master gave him a small shove from behind so that he took two steps into the room and the wall closed behind him. It was a good thing that the door closed immediately, because Harry couldn't stop the flinch when the potions master had given him the shove. The hand had been placed exactly on one of the not quite healed gashed Professor Potter had given him.

But now, standing alone on the stairs that led to the common room, Harry knew that he had never felt as lonely as he did at this moment. Master Snape had just made it perfectly clear that he had no wish to stand up for Harry in any form. Harry closed his eyes for a second to make sure that his mask was still in place.

'So no more Master Snape. He will be only my professor like for everyone else. Professor Snape, nothing more.'

Harry grimaced inwardly. It seemed that today was the day where everyone lost his right on the names they had.

His father was no longer anything else but Professor Potter and Master Snape nothing more than another Professor.

At last, he concentrated on the common room and noticed some thing that he hadn't seen at first. It seemed that every year had more or less different spots in the common room. The oldest Slytherins he could see, probably seven years, were sitting closest to the fire while another group of pupils of fourteen or fifteen years old were sitting in a corner to the left of the fire. But from the spot he was standing on he couldn't see his room mates.

He made his way down the steps into the common room to find Blaise and tried to ignore the eyes watching him, judging him and probably finding him lacking in everything a Slytherin was made off.

Finally he saw the black boy with Draco Malfoy and two other boys sitting close to the fire. Slowly, he made his way over to the other boys. Most of the Slytherins had gone back to what they had been doing before he came into the room but there will still enough of them looking at him hatefully and he didn't like that one bit.

Okay, so James Potter might be his father but that didn't make him the same person. Why couldn't they at least **try** to give him a chance? But he had to concentrate on his new class mates now. Blaise looked really uncomfortable like as if he didn't know how to act. Draco Malfoy looked at him with a light sneer on his face and the two other boys he didn't know the names of looked at him with distaste.

He could do it. He just had to walk over there and say hello. He had already met Blaise so that shouldn't be a problem. But Draco Malfoy could be a problem. His family came from a long line of Slytherins and Professor Potter wasn't really that popular with Slytherins. And it seemed like the others also knew about Professor Potter's dislike.

He asked himself why the damned hat hadn't sent him to Gryffindor if he had to be so stupid and walk to three Slytherins who obviously didn't like him. Or may be that's the reason why he hadn't been sorted there…he already knew that this would end in a disaster.

At last, he was standing in front of the little group.

"Hey, Blaise. Draco." He greeted the two boys he knew the name of and nodded to each of the boys. "I fear that I don't know your names." He said to the other two boys, but nodded to them anyway. It didn't seem to make them any more friendly and none of them told him their names. But he concentrated more on Blaise anyway. But the boy looked at everything but him and seemed to want to disappear.

Harry saw that Draco looked at Blaise with something of a warning and one of the other boys who stood next to the other side of Blaise looked sharply at the black boy. In that moment Harry understood everything perfectly.

It seemed that during his absence the other boys already had had a word with Blaise and probably told him that it was him or them. Harry knew such decisions were often forced. It had been the same when he went to Dudley's school after all. So nothing new to Harry.

Harry looked at Blaise and said. "I understand."

And he did. But it didn't make it any easier for him to accept it. He tried to keep the hatred down he had also felt when the boy in Dudley's school wouldn't even try to stand by him. He was older now and he knew that he didn't **need** anybody. What he wanted, however, was something else altogether but he wouldn't allowed himself to cry over something… unimportant… as this.

He concentrated on no one else but Draco now, because he obviously had already been made leader of the small group of Slytherins. That's why he directed his next words at him because there was no way Blaise would be allowed to answer anyway.

"May you at least show me our dormitory?" He asked neutrally and waited for someone to show him the way.

"Of course." Draco drawled and walked to some stairs that let upstairs. Harry followed without backwards glance not seeing the mournful gaze of Blaise or the way the others were congratulating his ex-first friend.

Draco and Harry walked in silence up the stone stairs and then turned right into a corridor. Every corridor was lit only by torches and they gave them a strangely fascinating look. Sometimes it was like the walls were moving and changing positions but that must have been a trick of the many flickering lights.

The corridor they were in at the moment had seven stairs which let downstairs again. Harry assumed that the other stairs went to the other dormitories of the other boys. Harry was surprised when they came to another stop, this time in a round room with four doors.

"There are always two of us in a room but seeing as we have an uneven number, I can congratulate you to your single room. It is the one with your name on it, if you are able to read, of course. The door to your left leads into the bathroom. See that you don't need too long because others want to shower, too. Breakfast is from seven to eight o'clock, classes at half past eight. If you don't want to get lost you wait for us because a prefect will show us the way to the Great Hall and to our classes."

Draco looked sharply at him as if daring him to ask a question. Harry was thankful for the information and even wondered a bit why Draco told him everything but it seemed the other Slytherin knew what he was thinking.

"I'm only telling you this because I don't want Slytherin to lose points because you were too dumb to find your way around the castle. And as you have missed Professor Snape's welcome speech…we are supposed to act as one house outside of the common room. So never dare to fight or argue with any of us in front of the members of our houses. I promise you Professor Snape wouldn't like that one bit. And don't you dare telling other people where our common room is located or anything else you learn in the common room. This is one of the worst things you can do and you'd be probably kicked out of Hogwarts for that."

Draco smiled an unpleasant smile as if he hoped that Harry would do exactly that.

"And another thing…the doors to our dormitories are keyed only to the persons who live within it. It's a great thing that Salazar Slytherin invented, so don't even try to break into our rooms. Hogwarts creates our dormitories when we get sorted into Slytherin and from the start they will open only for the persons who live in them. Funny thing that even Hogwarts knew that you were going to be the one left alone."

And with these last words, Draco turned around and left Harry standing alone in a suddenly very cold, empty corridor. With a sign, he looked at the doors and took the one to his right where in curved letters was written **"Pupil Potter, First Year".**

The torches lit immediately as he opened the door and stepped into his new home. It was quite pleasant, he had to admit. Even thought the walls and floor were made of stone, they were covered by fluffy, dark green carpets. His bed stood in one corner of the room, a big wardrobe in the other and there were also a desk and a chair and some shelves. He closed the door and left the Slytherins behind him.

Calmly, keeping his thoughts clear of everything that might get him to think too deeply, he walked to his new bed and opened his trunk to put his things away. He did everything mechanical, never thinking about what happened today. First he put his clothes away and then his books and then his school things. Finally, he put on his night clothes and slipped under the heavy blanket of his bed.

He didn't even remember the gashes on his back or the scar on his arm. The new betrayal had been too much to let his thoughts run astray. He didn't feel anything as he came to the conclusion that he was alone, truly and utterly alone in this world. He opened his eyes which he hadn't even felt closing and looked straight ahead to the ceiling.

Or at least, he tried to stare at the ceiling but to his amazement, he didn't see stone walls but a beautiful night sky with some stars on it. He concentrated on the beautiful light of the stars as he tried to ignore the tears finally running down his cheeks or the nearly soundless sobbing that filled the room.

But even the stars couldn't keep his dark thoughts away.

'Will I look that beautiful when I die?' He silently asked the stars who weren't nothing more than the memory of themselves.

'Will there be at least someone happy to still see something of me or will everyone just be happy that I'm finally gone?'

When the stars only helped to make him bitterer, he turned around and faced the wall. "At least, I had been right. I **have** found my place in Slytherin…" He whispered hoarsely to himself. "Welcome, outsider." He sobbed out before closing his eyes and trying unsuccessfully to stop the tears running down his cheeks before he cried himself to sleep.

But one last thought couldn't be stopped before the welcome dark embraced him.

Why did he have ever thought that anything could be different here in Hogwarts?

* * *

_I'd like to thank everyone who've updated!!! I really, really love your reviews._

_webweaver: The Dark Mark IS only a tatoo, but sealed with a potion which is normally NOT used for such things. That's why it will be a lot harder to remove than one might think. But no, it's not attached to his soul or magic, that's right :)_

_all: If you have any questions you really want to get answers to, please write me a pm. The thing is that I answer some of the reviews but now, I have no idea which reviews I've answered and which not. Sorry..._

_I'm sorry that I haven't been able to update earlier but my beta reader and I had a lot of things to do because of Christmas and New Year! But...the chapters are getting longer, you see? I try gg_

_I hope you liked the chapter and don't want to strangle me or Snape ;) Please, be patiente...with both of us ;)_

_Have a nice day, Sam :)_

_And ppppllllleeeeeaaaasssseeeee leave a small review puppy eyes (it may be longer, of course ;))_


	18. Chapter Seventeen

_**And still can't stop hoping**_

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_**Summary:**__ AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

_**Disclamer: **__Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in Italics are Harry's thoughts._

_And a really big __**THANK YOU**__ to Brightfeather for her help with this chapter!!! _

_And here is (really soon, if I might say that ;)) the new chapter!! It's even a nice one and the longest to date...about 4,500 words!!! So...ENJOY!!!_

_Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 17**_

The next morning Harry awoke by someone knocking on his door. He put on his glasses, which he had put on his bedside table the night before, and looked at the door. No one entered but he heard the voice saying to wake up and get down to the common room.

Harry assumed that it was one of the prefects to wake him up and got out of bed. The moment he moved, however, he flinched. He had totally forgotten about the gashes on his back and walked to his cupboard. He opened the door and looked into the mirror located on the inside of the cupboard door.

He saw an exhausted looking boy staring right back at him. He had a thin face with small, green eyes hiding behind round glasses and black, wild hair. He knew that the reason his eyes looked so small were because of the glasses and the hair black and wild because his father's had been like that. For a second, he wondered if he should look like himself again but the next moment, he already shook his head and decided that it was way too risky to look differently here. First, he had to find out if it was true that no one could get into his room without his permission. And if that was true, he might change his looks. Just here, in this room, where no one could see him.

He searched in one of his bags for a special potion that he had brewed before he had gone back to the Dursleys'. Fortunately, it was a potion to drink and would help his back help from the inside because he had no idea how he could spread the potion on his back without any help.

After he had drank the potion, he searched for his clothes and school robes and put everything on until he looked like the perfect Slytherin student with his green and silver scarf and Slytherin badge. He spared one last glance into the mirror, closed the cupboard door, took his packed school bag and made his way out of the room.

There was no one in the circular room that connected the dorm rooms and so he made his way down the stairs, along the corridor and down again until he arrived in the common room. Most of his year mates were already waiting there to go to breakfast with one of the prefects. For a second he feared that they had been waiting for him but it seemed that luck was this time on his side. Some of the girls, he thought they were Pansy Parkinson and another girl with the last name Bulstrode, were still in their room getting ready for the day.

He went to stand next to his year mates, not quite there but not too far away. Then he had an idea. If they had to act like a whole group to the other years, maybe he could show the other boys how he really was. He had to be careful, of course, but he could spend some time with the other boys without participating too much and maybe the others would see that he wasn't like his father.

With this in mind, Harry couldn't wait for the girls to show up and go to breakfast.

Finally three girls came down the stairs and hurried to the group. "About time," said the prefect without introducing himself and went out of the common room, the first years trailing behind him.

Harry tried to distinguish the corridors they were walking through but it was really hard. There weren't any portraits or windows on the walls to use as landmarks and so he had to hope to find his way back by remembering the right paths.

After about ten minutes they arrived in the entrance hall. The prefect stopped there and turned around to look at all the new first years. "I remind you again that as Slytherins, we don't show any disagreements in front of the other houses. So act like the proud pupils Slytherin wanted us to be or you'll be in serious trouble with Professor Snape." With these words and one last warning glance, the prefect made his way into the Great Hall. Not a second later, the group of nine also entered the Great Hall to get their first Hogwarts breakfast.

The first years sat down in the middle of the table and began putting their food onto their plates. Harry sat between one of the girls of his year and another Slytherin who might be a third year. The Slytherins didn't talk much until a prefect came and handed out their timetables.

"We've got Charms first thing in the morning, Daphne," said Pansy to the girl sitting next to Harry which he now knew the name of. "But we have to wait till Friday before we have the first Potions lesson. That's not fair!" answered Daphne indignantly. "Why can't we have that subject more than once? It's really interesting!"

"Only you would make such a fuss about Potions, Daphne. It's not as if you can't see Professor Snape before it, you know," said a girl sitting in front of Daphne.

"Oh, Tracey! You know I only want to learn about Potions! You are impossible!" The Slytherin girls laughed and Daphne tried to hide the blush on her cheeks.

Harry was just sitting next to them. He had tried to talk a few times or ask questions before they started to talk about the timetable but they had ignored him totally. But after two questions, Harry had asked so quietly Daphne to pass the butter that maybe she hadn't even heard him. It didn't really matter because even if he screamed out his questions, he would probably get more reaction from the other houses than from his own year mates. So much for his little idea of getting to know his class mates.

But the next moment, he got distracted by hundreds of owls streaming into the Great Hall. Some of them were carrying letters while others were trying to drop packages softly into the laps of the receivers.

Harry had already turned back to his breakfast when a letter was dropped into his lap. Surprised, he took the common white envelope and opened it with a knife. He took out a single paper and began reading when he was sure that no one was trying to read over his shoulder.

_'Dear Lucas,'_ it began and Harry searched with his eyes for the sender. The letter was from Boris! Excited, Harry continued reading the letter.

_I hope that this letter finally made its way to you. I've already tried to send you letters before but I fear that there must have been wards around the place you were staying, so that the owls couldn't find you. Or maybe these delivery owls are just stupid; I've no way of knowing. _

_How are you, Lucas? I hope your relatives let you go to Hogwarts and you are safe and sound in the old castle. _

_Have you met Severus, yet? I really hope that you've already had the chance to talk to him because he was really concerned when you left. Please give him my greetings, when you talk to him. _

_Don't worry about classes or anything, I'm sure everything will be fine. You are a clever kid and I've no doubt that you'll be top in all of your classes. Both Severus and I am sure that you'll surprise many of your teachers with your knowledge and be sure that I'm very proud of you, no matter how you do in any class. _

_My life has been very boring without you and your help. I admit that I've missed your more than I could have guessed. If you can, I'll gladly welcome you back in the holidays or maybe during summer break. _

_Please write back when you get this letter, so I know that my little spell to help the owls finding you has worked. _

_Best wishes and remember that you can come to me anytime you want, _

_Boris _

Harry put the paper back into the envelope and put it into his bag. He was glad that Boris wrote him and it made him feel warm inside that the old man had tried to reach him before and would be proud of him no matter what. But it made him a bit sad, too, because he knew that he couldn't be as good as he really was. He could only barely stop himself from looking at Professor Potter as these thoughts were running through his head.

He sighed. But at least, Boris would be proud of him no matter what and that meant a lot to Harry. Even better was that Harry could return to the potions shop if Professor Potter wanted to send him back to the Dursleys. Yes, he still had Boris and Harry relished the warm feeling that thought produced.

* * *

The first week went by really fast even though Harry had little contact with anyone save when he was in class. He spent most of his free time in a corner in the library, did his homework and read more about subjects he was interested in, especially potions. 

Once or twice some other pupils found their way to his corner but after not even a week, it seemed that everyone knew that the place was reserved for him alone. He often saw two of the Gryffindor girls sitting at a table not too far from his own doing their homework or researching but they never stayed too long. Sometimes Longbottom was with them but most times it was just the two of them.

One of the girls had bushy brown hair, brown eyes and rather large front teeth and seemed to be the more studious of the two. The other had long, straight, dark brown hair and blue eyes and seemed to want to go outside very often but also worked a lot. Because of the classes he had with the Gryffindors, Harry now know that the bushy haired girl was Hermione Granger and the other was Jennifer Moon. It seemed to him that they'd known each other even before Hogwarts but he wasn't really sure.

But they had accepted Longbottom into their little study group because it seemed that the boy wasn't such a loud boy like the other three Gryffindor boys. Maybe it was because of how the world reacted around him whenever they saw his famous star scar on his forehead. It must be hard being in the spotlight every time he tried to have some fun with friends or go out shopping with his grandmother. Harry could really understand the need to stay hidden.

He touched his own scar on his forehead. He was quite thankful that it was at least mostly covered because it was so close to his hair line. He wouldn't know what to say if people asked him about its origin. One time in Transfiguration, he had noticed that Granger had seen the scar and had probably thought of asking him. But Harry was a Slytherin and she probably wouldn't dare ask such a question a completely unknown Slytherin. Even though the relationship to the other houses had bettered over the years, the houses of Slytherin and Gryffindor would probably never be friends.

That was the reason Harry didn't really like the classes they had with the Gryffindors. Not really because of them personally but because Gryffindors and Slytherins really didn't mix well. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact, that there was a Malfoy in Slytherin and a Weasley in Gryffindor because those two were the one who normally started the fights. Harry tried to stay mostly out of it but it wasn't doing much good because Draco made such a bad impression on the Gryffindors when he had called Granger a mudblood that it was hard to speak to any of them. Not that Harry even tried, because his class mates wouldn't take it kindly if he began _allying with the enemy,_ so to speak.

That's why he mostly kept to himself and tried his best to be as inconspicuous as he could without being invisible. Another good fact he had found out was that if he got points taken off his house and then gained the same number of points in the same period, it wasn't recorded in "The Book of Points". It was a good thing that he had heard some Ravenclaw fifth years talking about "The Book of Points" and how it worked or his class mates would be probably more unfriendly towards him. Now, they were pretty much just neutral. They didn't talk much to him, if at all, but they didn't hurt or belittle him, which came as a good surprise to him.

And because now he knew that "The Book of Points" only recorded the points each pupil had gotten awarded or taken at the end of a period of the subject, he could at least avoid getting points while in class. The bad thing was that all points he got outside of class were all noted down but luckily that didn't happen often.

And the only class where he hadn't been able to stop getting points had been in Defence against the Dark Arts. The moment he had stopped into the class he had dreaded what Professor Potter would do because he was infamous for his dislike of Slytherins. But he hadn't taken points from Harry and therefore Slytherin every second but **awarded** them. Professor Potter had probably thought that by being his usual nasty self to all the other Slytherins but awarding points to him would make Harry look bad in front of his year mates. But for once the man had underestimated the nature of Slytherins. Of course, in the beginning they had been getting angry that Professor Potter had treated them all but his son so badly but after a while they all saw how uncomfortable Harry became and acted like real Slytherins did. Or maybe they didn't really care about Harry but invented that good plan anyway.

They had congratulated Harry every time he got points. They had congratulated him on his posture when he had gotten points for sitting perfectly straight while slouching in his chair and had given him a new handkerchief when he had gotten 10 points for bringing one with him to class.

After a while Professor Potter stopped awarding points to Harry because obviously, it wasn't so much fun to award points to **Slytherin** and helping them with the house cup than to award points to his **son** to make him suffer later on. And it was clear that if he had continued in that way, Slytherin would have had a big advantage.

Of course, after that class nothing had changed between the Slytherins and Harry but he had been thankful anyway because his father had stopped awarding him points. He was optimistic now that he could live through his school year without too many problems. Of course, it still hurt that his class mates wouldn't talk to him or even acknowledge his presence. Sometimes he was thankful that no one bothered him or made fun of him but sometimes he wished they would just do that because than he was at least sure that someone knew he was there. Sometimes he felt even worse when he felt that no one took notice of him and would even welcome a sharp word if it meant that they would at least acknowledge him.  
But he couldn't really change that and he still had one big test to go through before he could relax and enjoy the weekend.

Today was Friday and the Slytherins' first Potions lesson. And because it couldn't get any better they had been grouped with the Gryffindors. Joy. Oh, joy.

The Potions class room was in the dungeon, so that many pupils already disliked it because of its location. Furthermore, Potions weren't so popular among the pupils because of the ingredients they had to chop, cut, grind, or mince and put into the mostly nauseating smelling cauldrons. Another reason was the teacher himself, Professor Snape, who was a demanding and hard teacher to everyone. Only some pupils saw that the harsh demeanour was important to avoid mistakes or pranks within the class but in the end everyone had to adjust to his teaching style.

Harry knew all that but he didn't know how the professor would act towards him. He **was** a Slytherin so he couldn't be too bad to him. But he really didn't know what he would do if the professor was like Professor Potter and singled him out. Well, he would find out in a bit. He just had to wait and see.

The students arrived in the cold class room and nearly everyone paired up immediately. Everyone but Harry, that was. Because the Slytherins had an uneven number but the Gryffindors didn't, someone had to work alone and so it came to no real surprise that Harry had to work alone.

He took out his books and arranged his things on his new desk which was in the second row on the right side and behind the desk of Draco and Blaise which was in the first row.

There were nine tables set up for them, arranged in three rows. Pansy and Millicent had teamed up and were sitting on the left side in the first row, next to Gregory and Vincent, who were in the middle of the first row. Tracey and Daphne were sitting behind them and therefore next to Harry. On the other side of the two girls were Granger and Longbottom. All the other Gryffindors were sitting in the last row like the brave lions they were. Moon sat behind Granger and Longbottom and had teamed up with Weasley. Brown was sitting with Parvati next to them and Thomas and Finnigan were sitting in the right corner of the room. Harry had finally learned all their names because most teachers checked the attendance of the pupils in the beginning of every class.

So it came to no big surprise that when Professor Snape arrived, he immediately took the register and called out everyone by name. Unlike Professor Flitwick however, he didn't stop when he came across the name Longbottom but read through the entire list as fast as possible so that he could immediately start with the lesson.

"Well, welcome to your first Potions class. You are here to learn the demanding art of potion making and I warn you now… If any ingredient _accidentally_ falls into a cauldron which is not your own or that of your partner, then you **will** end up in front of the office of your head of house and explain why you are to serve two weeks of detention with our caretaker Filch. I hope that this is enough incentive to properly prepare your own potions. In the first lesson, we will try an easy potion which no one should have any problems with. If you get injured while brewing, you'll have to go to Madam Pomfrey by yourself. Only unconsciousness will be a good excuse to be accompanied by someone, so don't try to get yourself and your friend a free period by spilling a bit of potion on your hand. Your homework till the next lesson will be a ten inch long report about the different ways to prepare your ingredients. I will always announce your homework at the beginning of the class so that no one has to rely on his class mates to tell them the topic of their homework even if they land themselves in the infirmary. With that said, I want you to prepare a potion to cure boils today. The instructions are on the board, the ingredients are already laid out in front of you. You have till the rest of the lesson to brew the potion. Begin!"

And with these words everyone got to work.

Harry already knew how to make the potion and therefore didn't even look twice at the blackboard. He had only glanced up once to determine if it was the same potion he had brewed for Boris countless times before.

He didn't think that anyone should have a problem with their potion and therefore didn't watch the other pupils like he probably should have.

Behind him were working two Gryffindors and their potion already had an intense green color after only half an hour brewing time instead of the dark blue it was supposed to be. But instead of raising their hands and getting their professor to help, they continued working on the potion until acid green smoke started to form above the cauldron.

Finally, Professor Snape looked up from Gregory's and Vincent's cauldron and saw the inevitable explosion form in the Gryffindors' cauldron. Before he could shout at all to get away from that potion, the cauldron hissed loudly and in the next second, some of the green mess was ejected.

Harry had no time to escape and most of the right side of his body got covered in the green gunge and angry red boils appeared on his face and arm. The rest of his body had been covered by his specially for potions made clothes and therefore stayed boils-free.

But the thing that angered Harry wasn't the boils but his perfect potion which was now completely ruined.

"You idiot boys! You had to add the porcupine quills before removing the cauldron off the fire! You probably didn't wait that long, did you? That will be a zero for both of you today and five points will be taken from Gryffindor house for both of you for ruining a potion and injuring another student."

When Professor Snape was sure that both of the pupils looked deeply ashamed of themselves, he turned to Harry.

"Potter, you may go to the hospital wing. I won't give you a zero for today because I didn't see the potion. Therefore there won't be a mark at all for today's potion. Now go to Madam Pomfrey and get yourself fixed up."

With these words, he turned back to the other students sitting in the front row and examined the remaining cauldrons.

Harry packed his things, while keeping his right eye closed and trying to ignore the painful boils on his face and arm. On the one hand he was thankful that he hadn't gotten a zero for his potion, but on the other hand he knew that if it had been another Slytherin, he would have been allowed to repeat the potion to get his marks for it.

But there was no use crying over spilled milk. With these thoughts, he put the strap of his bag on his left shoulder and left the potions class room earlier than anticipated.

After about twenty minutes, he had finally found the infirmary on the third floor and made his way inside. It was a high, big, bright room with many beds equipped with white sheets on one side of the room. No one seemed to be in the hospital wing, probably because it was only the first week of classes. There were some privacy screens next to the beds to offer some privacy in the large room and a door on the shorter side of the room.

The second Harry stepped foot into the hospital wing, a middle aged witch hurried out the door which seemed to lead to her office. Madam Pomfrey was a not overly tall woman with grey hair and kind, brown eyes.

Harry didn't even have time to really react before she had already let him to the bed closest to her office and told him to sit down. She took the uninjured part of his chin into her hand and looked closely at the boils. Harry flinched at the unexpected touch and Madam Pomfrey immediately softened her touch because she probably thought that it was due the boils that he flinched.

She only looked for a few more seconds before she released him. "The first week of classes is not even over, yet, and I've already the first patient," she said with something of sad amusement. "But I'll have it fixed in just a bit. A potion to cure boils should do just fine."

Harry couldn't help but smile at the irony of that the potion they were supposed to make and got him to be in the hospital wing in the first place was the potion he had to take now to cure his face and arm.

"We tried to make this potion today in class but two of the Gryffindors made a mistake and some of the botched potion hit me." Harry tried to explain to Madam Pomfrey who had already started nodding at the first words as if she had known that a potion mistake had been the reason for the boils.

May be she really had.

She went to her office and not a minute later she came back and opened a glass jar with the viscous, dark blue cream. "I know it will hurt for a second but after that it will get better, I promise," she told him and started to spread the potion on the injured skin.

Even though she had warned him, he couldn't help but to flinch every time her hand came in contact with his skin. Luckily, Madam Pomfrey thought it hurt so much that he had to flinch every time and didn't look suspicious.

After two minutes, she had spread the cream all over the necessary parts of his face and right arm and in that moment, Harry was very thankful that the potion hadn't hit his left side. He really had to look for a spell or potion that could conceal the ugly tattoo on his left arm because it was too risky to keep it visible all the time, only concealed by his clothes.

Madam Pomfrey kept him a bit longer in the hospital wing till she was sure that the potion had cured all of his boils. When she had inspected his skin a last time, she gave him a clear bill of health and sent him on his way.

With a hesitate smile and a small wave which were both returned tenfold, he walked out of the hospital with a lighter feeling in his chest.

Today had been a good day.

First the letter of Boris and now a really nice adult who had helped him with his aches, even if it was her job as the nurse of Hogwarts. He didn't really mind and just thought of the nice smile and touches he had gotten from Madam Pomfrey and was relieved that he didn't have to worry about getting sick here.

* * *

_Thank you for reading my new chapter! I hope you liked it and even tell me a bit about it ;) So please...  
__**REVIEW**_

_And next time, we'll probably meet Adrian, Jonathan and a few other people ;) We'll see, who... :D_

_This is, of course, from "Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone", because I couldn't really know what the two boys did wrong ;)_

_Thank you again and have a wonderful weekend!!!_

_Chau, Sam_


	19. Chapter Eighteen

**_And Still Can't Stop Hoping_**

* * *

**_Summary:_**_ AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

**_Disclamer_****_: _**_Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in __Italics_ are Harry's thoughts.

_And a really big **THANK YOU** to Brightfeather for her wonderful help with this chapter!!  
And here is the new chapter..._

_Sam :)_

* * *

**Chapter 18**

_Dear Boris,_

_Life has been hectic here in my school. I'm sorry that I haven't written sooner but in the beginning I wasn't quite sure what to tell you. I mean, I'm only eleven years old and I don't want to bore you too much with my news._

_I'm also sorry to say that I can't send your wishes to Master Snape because I haven't been in close touch with him. I can't really tell you much about my school because I don't know how much we are allowed to say about this institute. But I just wanted to let you know that I love it here. It's an old castle with lots of interesting corridors, rooms, halls and some really scary ghosts which try to terrify us. I do really well in all my classes and I think I might by the best in some. They don't really teach potions so well (or at least no as well as when I was staying with you and got taught one-to-one by Master Snape). I guess, it's good enough but I'll probably try to find an unused room to practise a bit more and try some more difficult potions. These potions they teach here are far too easy so I don't really try to brew them but to change them a bit, you know? Well…some of my experiments weren't so stable so my potions professor wasn't quite happy about my tries but I'll keep going. His opinion about my potions in the classroom doesn't really matter that much to me because I know that I can do better. That's about it, I think. I like to thank you again for your patience to write me a letter even though the others didn't get to me._

_Greet your potions for me and I hope to hearing from you soon!_

_Bye,_

_Lucas_

Harry put the quill back on the table he was sitting on in the library. He reread his letter again and again to make sure he didn't say too much but also enough to satisfy Boris. He knew that his letter sounded like he would attend Durmstrang but that should keep some suspicion away. Harry hated lying so he tried to write some misleading facts without having to lie.

He had written that letter nearly after two weeks of receiving it but he hadn't been sure what to write. If he had written that he attended Hogwarts, Professor Snape would have told him that there was no one by the name of Lucas here. And that would have ledto more questions from Boris and maybe even Snape and that was something Harry wanted to avoid at all costs.

But Harry wanted to stay in contact with Boris because he might want to go back to him in the summer holidays. Boris was also one of the two adults in his life he could really rely on. The other adult was Poppy Pomfrey.

In the last weeks he attended Hogwarts, Harry often fell "accidentally" when some boys passed him. To be exact, Ron Weasley, Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas. It seemed that they had decided that the potion accident in their first potion lesson had somehow been his fault and therefore, the Gryffindors had found a new target for their taunts and "pranks", as they liked to call it.

It was also due to the fact that Draco was always in company with other Slytherins and Harry the loner of Slytherin. It was far easier to hurt someone who was walking alone through the corridors than to target Slytherin's little prince.

But Harry was used to it and tried his best to stay as far away as possible. And if they got him again, he would just go to the hospital wing and got himself fixed. Madam Pomfrey didn't even ask anymore what happened; she always knew that it was because of the Gryffindor boys.

One time, he had gone to the hospital wing because Ron had pushed him hard into the wall when he met him in a corridor, but that time Harry had pushed back. So it came with no big surprise that Ron arrived in the hospital wing as Madam Pomfrey had just finished healing him.

Then she had asked Ron what had happened and he tried to tell her a lie no one would have believe, something about tripping on his own two feet and falling against the wall. But it came with a big surprise when Madam Pomfrey said that she couldn't help him because these heal better with time.

Harry had never felt as special as in this moment because he hadn't even really had bad bruising but Harry liked going to the hospital wing because he knew that Madam Pomfrey would talk good care of him and he cherished these small moments of contentment in his life. Therefore, it was no real surprise to Harry that Madam Pomfrey had became the most important person in his life.

Harry cleared his thoughts of the last weeks, took the written letter for Boris and packed his book into his school bagto make his way to the owlery. But before he could stand up, someone else sat next to him on the table.

Harry looked up, surprised someone would want to sit and talk to him and even more surprised when he saw who it was.

"Hey Jonathan", said Harry, not even trying to keep his surprise out of his voice.

His brother just smiled slightly. "Hi. We haven't really had time to talk, yet." Harry didn't say anything and just waited what his brother would do.

It was true. It wasn't as if Harry had tried to ignore Jonathan but they just never saweach other apart from meal times and there was never time to talk each other. And outside of classes, Jonathan spent a lot of time playing Quidditch, with him being the seeker on the team, and Harry spend most of his time in the library.

"So…how is Slytherin?" asked his brother, obviously trying to make some conversation and even make a good effort.

"It's okay, I guess. And it would probably even be better if my last name wouldn't be Potter and everyone thinks I get sorted into the wrong house. I guess they are all just waiting that Dumbledore brings the hat into the Great Hall, so that it can resort me. But otherwise, everything is fine."

Jonathan nodded and even smiled a bit. Harry didn't really know what to make of his brother. He had never liked him but now, he was being kind of nice.

"It's just that I heard that some Gryffindors made your life hard and I wanted to know how you are holding up. I mean, I already tried to tell them to stop but they don't want to listen." To Harry, his brother sounded more angry at them not listening to him but them making his life hard. But it was the thought that counted and Harry wouldn't want to erase the one moment from his life his brother was trying to protect him.

"I think it's because I'm the only Slytherin they can really get close to, you know? But thank you for trying." Harry said, smiling thankfully at his brother. He looked quite uncomfortable and blushed a bit but Harry didn't mind. But there seemed to be something else on Jonathan's mind.

"What else is bothering you?" Harry asked his brother and he became still and looked even more uncomfortable than before. Jonathan didn't say anything for a few moments but finally he answered.

"It's dad," he admitted quietly. "I mean, last year he wasn't really nice to the Slytherins." At the look he got from Harry, he blushed a bit. "Alright, alright. He was pretty biased and quite unfair but you know, it wasn't so bad and Snape hadn't been so nice, either. Especially to me, you know?" He waited until Harry nodded before continuing.

"But now…he is worse than before and especially to you. I mean, I know how he always told me that the Slytherins are all bad and so on but I couldn't understand that he would be so mean to you too. I mean, we never really liked each other but you are still my brother, you know?" And in this moment, Harry found that he probably could never hate Jonathan even if he wanted to. Because this one sentence showed him that even though the two were never friends and probably will never be, Harry was still family to Jonathan and that was something he obviously held very high.

"I don't know what dad did to you after your sorting but he was so angry, even I was frightened. I mean I could understand the shock with you becoming a Slytherin, I mean, I wasn't really prepared for it either." Yes, Harry could remember the scream quite clearly. "But I got over it after a while. I remembered the conversation we had at home and I know that you were already worried about it and now that the Slytherins shun you, I feel even worse for you, so…what I really wanted to say is that I think that dad treats you unfair but **I** still like you as much as before." And finally Jonathan had finished what he wanted to say.

But Harry smiled thankfully at his brother and he knew that his brother probably liked him now even better than before but wouldn't say so. And it also meant a lot to him to know that his brother was thinking for himself now. It seemed that his father was so prejudiced that even Jonathan knew it was wrong and began thinking about other things their father told him.

Harry was really glad for that. "Thank you, Jonathan. It means a lot to me." He didn't know what else to say and just smiled thankfully at his brother. But it seemed that the situation was so new to Jonathan as well that he also didn't know what else to say.

"Well…then have a nice day and…see you," and with these last words, Jonathan stood up and walked away. And as he walked out of the library, Harry wondered why all of their sensible conversation where in the library. Maybe the many books around them rubbed off on his brother…

* * *

It was three weeks later and the beginning of October, when Harry returned to the dungeons and whispered the password to the Slytherin entrance. Some Slytherins looked up as he made his way into the common room but most just went back to what they had been doing. The Slytherin mostly ignored Harry but sometimes, especially when his father had been worse than usual, they would pick on him. They even had hexed him twice but it had been curses Harry already knew from his time at home and was able to reverse them the moment he was in the safety of his room.

Today, it seemed as if they would only ignore him. Harry looked around the common room and sat at a table in one of the corners to complete his homework in Charms.

His year mates all sat huddled together close to the fire by the same table, which they had been using afterthe Welcoming feast. Harry took out his book and some parchment and tried to ignore his year mates and the small yearning to belong withthem he hadn't managed to suppress, yet.

He had been writing for about five minutes until suddenly it became dark around him and his hoped of having a calm evening where weredestroyed. He looked up to see what hadobscured the light from the fire and came face to face with a group of fifth years.

"This is our table," said a boy in the front, who was apparently the leader of the group. He looked down on Harry as if he was a piece of dirt and as if it was already too much to speak to him. Not wanting to create a scene, even though Harry knew that this group normally sat atanother table, took his book and parchments and moved to another table.

However, the moment he startedto put his things down, he heard the same voice again. "This is also **our** table," he said arrogantly and Harry took a deep breath before moving to the next table. He noticed that more and more eyes were on him, greedily taking in the bullying from the older students and so it came to no big surprise that when he began to put his things down again, he heard the same voice again.

"You can't sit there either," he said again and Harry could hear the malicious grin in his voice. Some Slytherins were trying to muffle their laughter; other weren't so quiet and laughed out loud.

Harry took another deep breath and unclenched his law slowly. He turned around and looked at the arrogant smirking Slytherin. "Well, where **can** I sit then?" He tried to sound neutral but it was hard when anything he would like to do was punch the smirk off his face.

"Try your room, behind closed doors? I think your mirror is the only thing that can stand looking at you, Potter", he said viciously and the group behind him laughed. Harry didn't show any sign of distress as he packed his things, took his school bag and walked slowly out of the common room.

When he stepped into the corridor leading to the dorms, he heard some of the Slytherins congratulating the boy for evicting the "stupid Gryffindork". Harry didn't stay to hear the rest of their insults and so never saw the pensive stares of three of the Slytherins following his back.

--

Harry had nearly finished the last of his homework when there was suddenly some knocking on his door. He looked surprised at his door as if it would tell him who was standing behind it. Slowly, he stood up and walked to the door. He waited a few moments longer and there was another knock on his door. Cautiously, especially after the scene in the common room, he opened the door and to his big surprise there were Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini standing in front of his room.

He just looked at them for some time until the impatient "Well, will you let us in?" from Draco woke him from his stupor. Harry nodded carefully and opened the door wider to let them both inside. Blaise smiled tentatively at him but Harry only nodded at him.

He shut the door behind his door mates after both of them stood inside and motioned them to sit down on the chairs. He wasn't really surprised when two more chairs had appeared in his room when they stepped inside because he had already noticed that the door seemed to provide for everything he needed.

He sat down on the chair in front of his table, turned it around so he was facing his two unexpected guests and looked questioning at them. "So. How may I help you?" He looked inquiring at both of them. Draco sniffed and answered shortly. "We just wanted to let you know that your father was quite cruel today in his lessons, especially to the fifth years."

Harry looked closely at him and nodded sharply. He understood what the boy was trying to tell him. The Slytherin had acted that way in the common room because he was his father's son and they had needed an outlet. It wasn't like it had been the first time something like that happened but it had been the first time they had been so persistent in their bullying.

"I understand and thank you for this information. But may I ask **why** you would tell me something like that?" Harry was really quite curious about that. It was no secret in Slytherin that Harry was the loner and got no sympathies from anyone, not even their Head of House.

"Just be thankful that we tell you something like this, Potter. And don't expect us to help you anytime soon." It seemed that Draco didn't know why he would help him any more than Harry did and stood up again.

"See you tomorrow in classes," the blond said and left the room. Harry looked back at Blaise and waited for him to say something first.

"He is confused why the older Slytherins are bullying you and especially why Professor Snape doesn't do anything against it." Harry was thankful for the explanation but it wasn't really what he thought he would hear from Blaise.

"So are some of us, but I think as long as you don't get any real assistance from Professor Snape, they won't leave you alone. And Draco is his godson." Blaise continued and Harry could fill in what was left unspoken.

'And I'm Draco's friend and he won't against the wishes of his godfather and I won't act against Draco's wishes.' Yes, Harry was quite good in filling the blanks.

"I understand," he only answered and turned back to his homework that was still lying on his table. Harry found it ironic that even now Blaise talked to him a bit, his answer was still the same as when he had last tried to talk him, after the welcoming feast.

Blaise sighed quietly and stood up to leave the room. As he was opening the door he stopped again and opened his mouth as if to say something more but just closed it again and left Harry's room. The door fell silently into its look. Harry didn't look back to see the empty room but took a deep breath, took his quill and continued writing.

* * *

_I want to thank everyone who wrote me a review or a pm, some even twice...__  
__I'm really sorry that you had to wait so long again but real life just keeps getting in my way..._  
_And then...I've finally wanted to upload it but had changed everything and suddenly, all the question marks were gone, the writing wasn't centered and there were no lines and ARGH!! And then, I've finally had the chapter more less like I wanted and no I can't upload it?? What the !! I hate FFnet at the moment…really much so! I wasted too much time to figure it all out...why do people have to change something that is working to something new that DOES NOT WORK? Well, doesn't matter now…but I still don't like it. okay...Sam...calm down...it doesn't matter...the chapter is up smile._

___I still hope very much that I can update the next chapter much faster than this one because you had to wait way to long for it..._  
_I hope you like it and I'm really interested in hearing what you think. I think the best thing about this chapter is, that it is finally not so sad, even if it's not really happy but ah...well...it's no happy story, can't change that..._

_Thanks again to all my lovely reviewers!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you :)_

_Chau__, Sam_


	20. Chapter Nineteen

**_And Still Can't Stop Hoping_**

* * *

**_Summary:_**_ AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

**_Disclamer_****_: _**_Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in __Italics_ are Harry's thoughts.

_And a big **thank you **to my beta reader Brightfeather for her wonderful help!!  
And here is the new chapter..._

_Sam :)_

* * *

**_Chapter 19_**

Harry was brewing a potion in one of the dungeons. He had searched a long time for an adequate room to brew in, which wasn't too far from any known places. He had found the perfect one on the way from his common room to the entrance hall, but in a corridor rarely used because it was a dead end. Then, he had cleaned the room of all dust and dirt and had pushed two newly cleaned tables in the middle of the room, so he had enough place to work on a potion without worrying to be hindered in his mobility while brewing.

At the moment, he was brewing a special potion for Halloween. While all the other students would enjoy the feast up in the Great Hall, Harry would perform a small ritual to honour the dead and most important, his mother.

He had found the potion to outline the circle in which the ritual would happen a few years back in the library of Potter Manor. With the help of the elements, represented by white candles, dark earth, small goblets of water and burning wood, he would pay the respect to his dead mother. He always felt a bit closer to her after this experience. As Halloween was on Samhain, when the portal of the worlds of the living and the dead was open, it was the perfect time to remembrance his mother.

To help his mother's spirit to find him, the potion had also ingredients representing each of the elements like salamander liver, gnome saliva, myrrh roots and copper cuttings. Another thing Harry was going to add was eleven drops of his blood. He thought it was only fair that if the elements gave something to his mother, then he should do the same. So he was going to add eleven drops, each for every year of his life, to the magical fire when it was time to add all the chosen symbols.

He didn't know if his mother really came to visit him this time of the year, but he always felt better after he had at least tried to pay penance for the death of his mother. Because even though he knew that logically, he couldn't really be blamed for her death, there was still doubt in the back of his mind whenever her name came up that he just couldn't banish.

Harry shook his head to clear his head of those dark thoughts and concentrated back on the potion he was brewing. It had to be faultless to work perfectly.

And as he added the cleanly cut pieces of salamander liver, he only hoped that maybe, his mother had forgiven him or if not, that one day she would.

* * *

It was Halloween and everyone was already excited about the Halloween feast. The smell of baking pumpkins was already wafting through the corridors and so no one could really concentrate when Professor Flitwick tried to explain the levitation charm.

Harry hadn't any problems with the spell but waited until the first students got the spell right first. He didn't want to earn any more points than he had to and it also helped him to keep a low profile. When at least four students had gotten the spell right and the last one hadn't earned any points, Harry also "succeeded" in performing his spell. He noticed only barely that two students were sent to hospital wing to regrow their burnt hair.

He was sure that it was the right decision to not show what he really could do, as he was walking out of the classroom. He couldn't help but overhear Ron Weasley complaining about Hermione Granger and that she hadn't any friends when he and his friends were walking out of the class room behind him. Granger had been partnered with Weasley and had helped him with his pronunciation, so that he finally managed the spell. It was a bit sad that she was even insulted because she had helped Weasley.

But Harry knew that Granger was good friends with Jennifer Moon and the Boy-Who-Lived, so he didn't think that she would take Weasley's words to heart.

What he didn't know was that Moon and Longbottom had been the two students sent to the hospital wing. It had been because of Finnigan, who had set the feather he had been practising with on fire. Unfortunately, Moon and Longbottom had been sitting in front of his table and Moon's hair had completely caught fire, so they had to go to the hospital wing to regrow her hair.

But Harry didn't really care that much because he was already excited about performing his ritual and went to the Great Hall for lunch.

* * *

Harry finished all of the delicious food the house elves had prepared for lunch. The other Slytherins were talking happily about the decorations in the Great Hall and Harry was content to only listen to them.

After two months in Hogwarts, he had found a more or less successful way of the taking part in the conversations. After the evening when Draco and Blaise had been in his room, he sometimes took part in some of the conversation. Of course only when no one else was talking and when he was sure that he knew what he was talking about.

It seemed that the other Slytherin were getting used to him and as long as they were only engaged in small talk, Harry could say some sentences here and there and even got some responses. It was also no longer a problem to ask someone to pass him the salt or anything. It seemed that his class mates where content to have him by their sides as long as he wasn't really trying to make conversation.

"Potter, could you please pass me the pumpkin juice?" asked Daphne, who was sitting next to him.

"Sure," he answered and gave her the beverage. Even though it was something so trivial, Harry was content that they at least acknowledged him. Not everyone, of course. Pansy Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle and Millicent and nearly all of the upper years still ignored him, even though he wasn't sure about Crabbe and Goyle. They didn't really talk to anyone but Draco when they were eating, so Harry couldn't really be sure.

Harry looked at his watch and saw that he still had half an hour until the next period and therefore enough time to give back the book he had borrowed from the library. Even though he could keep it a few days longer, he liked to return them as soon as possible, in case, someone else wanted to read it. Therefore, he took his school bag and walked out of the Great Hall and to the library.

But as he was just passing the doors, he heard his name being called.

It was Professor Potter.

"Harry, son, I've got to talk to you. Could you please come to my office?" Even though his father smiled at him and had asked him nicely, Harry knew that it was all for show for the listening pupils. So he nodded immediately and followed his father to his office.

James Potter opened the doors after saying the password quietly to a small portrait hanging on the door and gestured Harry to walk in. The moment the door was closed and the professor had added some silencing charms, his faked smile vanished and he looked sharply at Harry. He wasn't even offered a seat while the older man sat slowly down behind his desk.

Harry knew that whatever his fa…professor had to say to him wasn't anything good and already braced himself for some bad news. Normally he didn't have to wait long because James Potter was pretty straightforward when it came to destroy his days.

"You will not go to the Halloween feast."

Well, that was unexpected but not really a problem as Harry had already planned to be in _his_ dungeon. Of course, the older man didn't know that and probably hoped that Harry would be upset about that. But as his face showed nothing of his thoughts, also thanks to his Occlumency skill, the professor didn't know if Harry was upset about this ban or not.

"I don't care where you are but maybe the best place for you would be somewhere in a dark dungeon, so that you can remember who's fault it is that Peter is no longer alive!" If the older Potter had hoped to hurt his son with these words, he wasn't really very successful.

Harry had only to be careful not to smile a bit because he really planned to be in a "dark dungeon", as his father hoped. But he wouldn't remember Peter but his mother, because she was the one who gave birth to him. But maybe he would remember Peter a bit, because Samhain was the night you remembered the dead.

But Harry had come to the conclusion a long time ago that he wasn't at fault for his death because he hadn't been the one who had told Peter to look after him and Jonathan. He hadn't been the one who had spoken the killing curse and he hadn't told Peter to leave the house earlier. So he had really no connection to the death of the late Maurauder.

Of course, he never voiced his opinion out loud.

"Well then. Get out! I don't want to see you until tomorrow!"

And with these words, Harry left the office and a fuming James Potter. It seemed that the older man had hoped to finally see a disappointed Harry. But when it came after Lucas Harry Potter, this man will never again see any weak emotion on his face.

After the door closed behind Harry, his mask firmly in place, he let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding. Although he **knew** that his father was wrong, it still hurt. Harry just needed a friendly face at the moment.

He looked at his watch and saw that he still had twenty minutes left until the beginning of the next class and made his way to the hospital wing to visit Madam Pomfrey.

* * *

"Harry! What a nice surprise to see you here! But you aren't hurt, are you dear? I thought these boys have left you alone!"

Madam Pomfrey greeted him immediately when she saw who had arrived in her hospital wing. Harry smiled at the nurse while she ushered him into her office.

The office was comfortable looking with warm looking, brown furniture and the walls painted a light yellow. It was a lot more pleasant than the hospital wing with its white walls and beds.

"No, everything is fine. The boys leave me alone, now that they know that they won't be healed anymore when they get hurt by bullying me." They both had to laugh a bit at this, because it was really stupid getting hurt when one was trying to hurt someone else. But Harry wasn't too sorry about that fact that Weasley and his friends were a bit daft.

"And I think they are really scared that you won't heal them anymore even when they should get hurt by accident. I heard them saying that they want to try out for Quidditch next year, so they don't want to be on your bad side." Harry said smiling while Madam Pomfrey was preparing him a cup of tea.

"Well. I don't say that they'll ever be on my good side again but I would never refuse to heal them when they are serious injured. I am a mediwitch and that's my job after all." She took a sip of her own cup of tea and then looked curiously at the child sitting in front of her.

"Are you already excited about the Halloween feast? There are always about a thousand bats and hundreds of pumpkins and the food is really delicious." It seemed to Harry that one of the reasons Madam Pomfrey was working at Hogwarts was the food. He told her his impression and got a mock glare in return.

"Of course I'm not working here for the food! I mean, I wouldn't work at this school if it wasn't for the feasts, the beautiful grounds and the high salary. I'm highly indignant that you'd think I only work here for the food, my boy."

Even her tone was indignant; she gave Harry a wink to let him know that she was only kidding. Then she looked at the clock on the wall and saw that Harry had only five minutes left to go to his next class.

"My, my, how the time flies by when you are, Harry. I fear you have to go to classes now. I see you at the feast, alright dear?" She said kindly and took the now empty cup out of his hand.

"Ehm, I won't go to the feast," said Harry shyly as she wished him a nice Halloween meal. She looked at him questioning and he smiled in responds.

"It's just a little tradition of mine, but on the 31 of October, I always do a little ritual to remember mum, you know? Because today is the night it's most likely that she will hear me and I just want to tell her that I miss her very much, you know?"

Harry didn't look Madam Pomfrey in the eyes as he told her his plans for the evening. Harry had never told another person about his tradition and it was very personal to him. For a moment, he was scared that he shouldn't have told her but then he looked up, when a soft hand was put on his shoulder.

"I understand, Harry dear. Lily was a wonderful woman and I'm sorry that you couldn't get to know her but I know that she loved you very much the few seconds she got to hold you. I was there when you were born, you know Harry? She knew that there were complications and that we couldn't do anything to help her but she just smiled and was so happy to have you in her arms. She always called you her little wonder, even when you were still in her stomach and she would tell everyone how she knew that you were going to be very special."

Here, Madam Pomfrey stopped for a moment to swallow around the lump that had built in her throat. Harry was thankful that he didn't have to say a word because he wouldn't get out a single word. It was as if his throat was clogged up.

"You know, I never thought it was possible to be so proud of ones own child when it was not even born but your mother was. And when she finally had you in her arms after giving birth to you, she only asked us to take care of her little survivor."

She stopped again and looked lovingly at Harry who wasn't even really noticing the silent tears streaming down his face. Never had anyone ever spoken of his mother and the way she had felt about him. His father had only ever said that his mother would have hated him and that he should be ashamed of himself. He remembered the letter he had read while he had been at his aunt's house and smiled sadly. So his mother hadn't stopped loving him even after giving birth to him.

"You know Harry, your mother loved you really very much and never doubt it, okay? It was not your fault that she died. These things just happen and she loved you every moment of her life." Madam Pomfrey said softly and her eyes widened when Harry flinched at her words. It seemed as if she had stumbled upon something, she hadn't thought possible.

But Harry hadn't noticed her reaction because he was busy wondering when the nurse had moved because now she was crouching exactly in front of him and looking at him with warm, sad eyes.

He knew that it wasn't his fault because his teachers in primary school had already told him that the baby was never at fault when he had asked them. But until now, he hadn't even known that he hadn't believed them. He hadn't realized that he still blamed himself for the death of his mother even though he knew logically that it couldn't have been his fault.

Hadn't he even just thought a few days ago, while brewing the potion, that it hadn't been his fault?

"It wasn't your fault, Harry."

And suddenly, these few words were enough, and the tears were flowing more freely and they were no longer coming silently and then there were warm arms around him and a weight he didn't even knew he had wasn't on his shoulders anymore, and these arms tightened around him but they didn't hurt him and finally, he let go and began sobbing in earnest.

And as he relished this moment of comfort and safety he hadn't felt for such a long time, if ever, he just wanted to stay in this moment forever.

* * *

_So…haven't I uploaded this chapter much earlier? ;)  
It's really great when you have more time on your hands and all :D_

_I hope you liked the chapter and of course, I'm really curious about your opinion!_

_I just have to say that this chapter is soooo different from what I've planed._

_First I hadn't even thought of Halloween until I was thinking that December was a bit far away (the next chapter is nearly finished). Then I had everything more or less planed and was thinking about putting the two pieces together and then I was suddenly writing the scene in James' office and then I thought, let's put in a small conversation with Poppy and then I suddenly write the last scene without ever planning to do so…_

_My fanficion is writing itself…_

_Well…I hope the chapter is long enough because I just can't add anything to this end…_

_It's just such a good ending and I hope you feel the same :)_

_And I just LOVE Madam Pomfrey...I can't help myself_

_And well…originally, I wanted to put the evening of Halloween in this chapter, too._

_Now I have to write it in the next chapter… ;)_

_all my reviewers: If you want an answer, please leave your mail address or log in, so that I can answer you personally. I don't want to answer all the reviews at the end of a chapter, so please, if you have any questions, write you mail address in the review or send me a pm. THANKS!! _

_And a big **THANK YOU** to all my reviewers…I love you, guys. And I probably wouldn't write anymore if it wasn't for you, so THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH!!_

_Have a nice weekend!_

_Chau__,_

_Sam :)_


	21. Chapter Twenty

**_And Still Can't Stop Hoping_**

* * *

**_Summary:_**_ AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

**_Disclamer_****_: _**_Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J.K.Rowling, I'm only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in __Italics_ are Harry's thoughts.

_And **thanks **to my beta reader Brightfeather for her help!!  
And finally, the new chapter...Enjoy, a lot of you will, I promise :)_

_Sam :)_

* * *

**_Chapter 20_**

Harry was really excited about the ritual to honour and maybe even speak to his dead mother. It was the last class of the day and no student could really concentrate on what Professor McGonagall talked.

Of course, the other students couldn't concentrate because they were all excited about the Halloween Feast and the special dishes they would eat tonight, but Harry liked the feeling of companionship it gave him. But it seemed that even Professor McGonagall was infected by the spirit, or just knew that she wouldn't get any of the students to really listen to hear, because she let them leave half an hour earlier and wished them all a great Halloween feast.

While all the other students were hastening to their common room to dress themselves up, Harry took his time to get to his common room. He had a lot of time because he had already packed the things he would need for the ritual.

When he finally arrived in the common room, it was nearly deserted. Only a few boys were still hanging around and talking about the upcoming feast and the included ball.

Harry didn't pay them any mind and made his way to his room to put his school things away. When he had put the books to their respective places, he took off his clothes and changed into pure black ones, especially selected for that night.

He looked at his clock and saw that he still had much time left. Therefore, he took the book about the ritual, lay on his bed and reread it a last time before the evening.

Even though he knew the ritual inside out, he wanted to make sure that he didn't make any mistakes because he couldn't remember the right words or acts in the right moment. He finished reading about an hour before the feast was starting.

He closed the book, put on his shoes and took his bag with all the things he would need for the ritual. After he had checked a last time that everything was inside of it, he made his way out of his room and the common room. Most of the Slytherins were still dressing themselves to look their best on the Halloween feast because of the dance that was later in the night in the Great Hall, so Harry could walk out of the common room without anyone noticing.

He made his way into the specially selected room, closed the door and put on a locking spell he had especially researched for tonight. He also added a silencing spell on the room, so he wouldn't be distracted by the chatter of the people in the Great Hall or the music.

With these preparations finished, Harry put his bag down and carefully took out all the requested items he would need in the ritual.

* * *

Harry stood in the middle of the completed circle made for the ritual.

He had drawn the circle beginning in the north, then to the east, to the south and at last had completed the circle in the west. Afterwards, he had poured the specially made potion carefully over the salt and when he had finished, the circle glowed white.

Then, he put the items representing the elements on their places, again beginning in the north. First he had put dark earth on the salt, then white candles, after that wood which he had put on fire shortly before and at last, a small goblet of water.

When he had put the goblet down on the circle of salt and potion, the circle had glowed a bit more strongly.

Now, Harry stood in the middle of the circle and took out a bright fire lily, as the item representing his mother. Carefully, he put it in the middle of the circle, took a step back and kneeled in front of the flower.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, the fire lily changing in his mind's eye from the flower to his mother's face. Harry didn't know a lot about his mother but he heard stories about her over the years and tried to imagine them as if he had been there.

He didn't move for about fifteen minutes, not seeing the circle glowing more and more brightly until the light filled the whole dungeon room. But Harry took no notice of it. He only concentrated on the memories he had gained through other people but somehow, they didn't seem as far away as before.

It was like he suddenly knew more and more about the scenes. If before the images were more like an old monochrome film, they shined at him now in the brightest colours with much more details than ever explained to him.

When he didn't have any new images to remember, Harry suddenly had a picture of his mom holding him in his mind. She looked completely exhausted, but she smiled brilliantly at the little bundle in her arms which he knew was him.

Harry smiled when he saw this and didn't even feel the tear on his cheek. He just was so happy to know that he had been as loved by his mom as Madam Pomfrey had told him.

But then, no new memories came forward and slowly, Harry opened his eyes.

The room was nearly as dark as before and the circle glowed only a little bit more before it became normal again. Harry thought he felt a light caress on his face but before he could be sure, the feeling vanished and he was left alone in the dark room.

He looked around a moment longer in hopes to **see** his mother but no one was in this room besides him.

With a sigh, he put the things he had used in the ritual together and vanished the clutter with a wish of his wand.

With one last look at the now empty room and a little sigh, he opened the door and left the place where he had hoped to see his mother.

But before he closed the door behind him, he put his hand on the place where he had thought he had felt a touch and smiled a bit. Even thought he hadn't been able to talk to her, he knew that she had been there and showed him in her own way that she loved him, and that was enough for Harry.

He closed the door behind him and walked along the corridor which led him to the main corridor from his common room to the entrance hall.

But the moment he put foot into the new corridor, a horrible smell penetrated his senses. He stopped and waited for a second, wondering what he should do.

But then he heard loud steps and a grinding noise of something heavy been pulled and was quite sure that he didn't want to meet whatever came that way.

The heavy steps came closer and closer and without more thought, Harry took off in the direction of the entrance hall. With the feast probably still going in full swing as it had only started fifteen minutes ago, it was the safest route to take with all the teachers being in the Great Hall.

But when he looked behind him, he saw the monster he was running from the first time. It was a big, ugly mountain troll and something he wanted to avoid at all costs. The good thing about knowing his opponent was that Harry found himself running faster than he knew he could. The bad thing was that the troll seemed to have gained the same ability.

Harry was so afraid of the troll getting him that he took a wrong turn and ended up in one of the corridors that led to the second floor. Harry cursed himself for getting himself in this situation.

He didn't know this part of the very well and just hoped to come across a corridor he recognized. The only thing he knew about the second floor was that there was a girl's bathroom a bit further away which had been out of order for the whole year because it was haunted by some ghost.

Or at least, that is what the girls told them.

Harry heard a crash behind him and because of that nearly ran into the teachers coming from a corridor.

He managed to stop barely in front of Professor Snape which was in the front and looked quite surprised to see him in this part of the castle. But before the potions master could open his mouth to ask him what he was doing here, Harry had already answered.

"I was just on my way to the feast when there was this smell and then I heard these heavy steps and now is a big troll behind me!"

And with these words, he walked into the corridor the professors came from and hid behind Professor McGonagall. He was no Gryffindor and had really no need to fight a troll which would come around the corner any moment now.

It seemed that the professors had heard the steps too, because Professor Snape and Potter aimed their wands quickly in to the direction where the troll came from. Not a second later, they were joined by Professor McGonagall but she waited a bit behind, probably to protect Harry if the need should arise.

The moment the troll walked around the corner, it was already over. All three professors yelled, "_Stupefy**,**_" and the troll feel to the ground, unconscious. The next moment, Professor Dumbledore came around the corner and looked quite surprise to see them at this point.

Harry could even swear that the professor had looked frustrated for a second while looking down the corridor that would led to the bathroom, but Harry couldn't be sure because it was gone in a moment.

While Professor Potter and McGonagall**,** with the help of Dumbledore**,** bound and took the troll away, Professor Snape took his Slytherin aside and looked sternly at Harry.

"I want to know what you really did in this corridor," the potions master said strictly, not believing Harry.

"Sir, I was just on my way to the Halloween feast, I swear." Harry tried to sound as earnest as he could and was thankful for his Occlumency skills because he knew that Professor Snape was quite accomplished in Legilimens.

"And may I know then, why you were so late? All of your class mates were already in the Great Hall when Filch came into the hall to say that a troll was in the dungeons." Professor Snape enquired.

Harry thought of a good explanation and was as honest as he could be while changing the important facts.

"I…I don't know if you know it, Professor Snape, but my uncle Peter who used to babysit us was killed by Death Eater today and therefore, I wasn't really in the mood to go to a feast. I just wasn't sure if it would be right to celebrate tonight when it was the night he was killed. And when I finally decided that I still would go, it was already late."

Professor Snape looked at him a moment longer and finally nodded.

"Come with me. I've sent the Slytherins to the hospital wing for protection and I think Madam Pomfrey wouldn't mind having a look at you and maybe give you a calming draught."

Harry looked confused for a second of why he would need a calming draught until he saw his shaking hands. It took him another second to notice that not only his hands but his whole body was shaking.

Without another thought he followed his head of house to the hospital wing.

* * *

James Potter was lying in his bed and dreaming of his beautiful Lily. Many would think it obsessive to still think of his dead wife nearly every day of his life but he couldn't help himself. Lily Evans had been his great love and he probably would never get over it that she had to die over something simple as a birth.

But today, his dreams weren't filled with a young, happy and smiling Lily.

There was no laughing Lily greeting him on a sunny day outside of Hogwarts.

No, today he was standing in a dark, cold room not unlike the dungeon room in Hogwarts where he had first punished his son.

And his Lily didn't smile at him, wasn't laughing and most important wasn't one bit happy to see him.

Lily was standing leaning against a part of the stone wall, arms folded in front of her and she looked disapprovingly and angrily at him. Her clothes were pure black and closed tightly. But he thought he saw something like liquid on the side of her robe where it was leaning against the wall when she wasn't moving.

But before he could think further about that fact, Lily greeted him in a hard, cold tone.

No, Lily didn't seem to be happy at him at all.

"James."

He shuddered and then answered in an unsure tone.

"Lily, my love!"

She didn't say anything but her gaze became sharper and she looked now more angry than disapproving.

James became a bit scared. Normally, Lily would had already thrown her arms around him and greeted him enthusiastically. But today, everything was different. Therefore, his next words were more insecure.

"How are you doing and why are we meeting on such a dark place? I'm sure that the grounds are beautiful today. Why don't we go outside and enjoy the sun?"

Finally, Lily came closer but his initial relief and turned to horror when he saw the wall behind her.

Suddenly, he knew what the liquid was on her robe, about which he had wondered about earlier.

It was blood.

The whole wall was flecked with blood and he couldn't turn his look away.

He tried to take a step backwards but found himself unable to move. Without knowing when, someone had strapped him to the wall on the other side and he couldn't move. Helplessly, he looked around and turned pleading eyes to Lily who watched him coldly.

"I'm very disappointed in you, James Potter."

Her gorgeous, green eyes which used to look at him with love had lost their warmth and stared at him without any friendliness. They were cold and dead, like the eyes of a corpse.

"Don't look so shocked at me or the bloody wall. This is your entire fault, James. I gave my life to protect our little baby and you hurt him. I trusted you to take care of our children and you abuse them."

"I don't abuse Jonathan! He's a good boy, I would never do that to him!" James screamed at her, not understanding her anger in his twisted mind.

"I'm not talking about Jonathan even though you could have done better with him. I'm talking about Lucas."

Lily hadn't move from her position but somehow, she suddenly stood exactly before him. James looked at her in confusion and she smiled at him.

But it was not the smile he was used to – the warm, caring smile that could lit up the whole room. No, like everything in this scene, also her smile had turned cold and was freezing him to the core.

"Why are you looking so confused, James? Don't you even remember the name we gave our second son? It's Lucas, James. Harry was only his middle name, but like so much, you made him into something he isn't. You shoved all your repressed anger and hate you couldn't live with at Lucas and twisted him in your mind until he was someone that doesn't exist."

She paused for a second.

"The devil Lucas is in your mind doesn't exist James. Lucas is just a little boy who has done nothing wrong. And you are even arrogant enoughto punish him for these nonexistentmistakes. If you don't change your ways, James, than I will take what is most precious to you."

Here, James became shaking even though he was still tightly bound against the wall.

"I won't take Jonathan or your job or even your house and money. I won't even take away your reputation, which is so important to you. No, I will take away from you what you've seen every time you looked into the mirror of Erised."

Here she paused again and then lean forward to whisper the words into his ear. Her breath was as cold as the rest of her was today and he whimpered.

"I will take away your memories of our good times. I will take away my smile you relish in when you look at the pictures of me. And I will take away my love I have left in your heart, so you will feel as empty and alone as you made our son feel."

She took a few steps away from her and looked at his scared face. James hadn't even noticed his tears until she started speaking again and pointed it out to him.

"I haven't even made my vow come true and you are already crying. But you won't have any mercy, James. You didn't give it to our son and therefore, there will be no mercy for you, James Potter. Mark my words."

And with these last words, Lily Potter vanished and James Potter woke up sweating in his bed in Hogwarts, his heart beating loudly in his breast.

He looked around the dark room, took his wand and lit the tip with a quiet, "_Lumos_".

James took in every corner of his room but no one was there. With a last deep breath, he doused the light and let himself fall back into his bed. It took a long time to go back to sleep and convince himself that it hadn't been real.

And the next day, James tried to ignore the whole vision by telling himself that it was only a nightmare caused by the troll incident. But after that day, it seemed that every picture of Lily in his room would look at him disapproving and the most beautiful smiles would turn into frowns when they met his eyes.

He tried every counter curse he knew on the photos but nothing changed. So even though he didn't believe in his visi….nightmare, he decided to skip the monthly "detention" with Harry.

Just to be sure.

* * *

_So…I think a lot of you will love Lily at the moment ;)_

_But I also hope that it shows that James is seriously mentally ill, which explains his behaviour towards Lucas...but this is a topic for a much later chapter :)_

_I hope you enjoyed the chapter and let me know it ggg_

_And I want to thank everyone who has updated for this chapter…a really big **thank you** to all of you, because without you, I'd probably wouldn't have continued writing…so thank you all a lot!_

_That's all for today and I hope that the next chapter will be out soon (or at least sooner…I'm really sorry about waiting…)_

_Thanks again and have a great Sunday everyone!!_

_Chau__,_

_Sam :)_


	22. Chapter TwentyOne

**_And Still Can't Stop Hoping_**

* * *

**_Summary:_**_AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

**_Disclamer: _**_Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J., I'm only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in ____Italics__ are Harry's thoughts._

_And a big THANK YOU __to my beta reader Brightfeather for her help, so that I could upload this chapter so fast!!!  
So please enjoy it and have a nice day!_

_Sam :)_

_**Warning**__: Mention of child abuse, no graphic description of the abuse but of the aftermath (injuries, etc…)_

_and_ _I fear no Snape – Harry interaction in this chapter…at least not directly, sorry._

* * *

**Chapter 21**

It was the Friday after the Halloween feast and Harry made his way to his monthly detention. The days after the Halloween feast had been nearly as eventful as the day itself.

Three Gryffindors, Longbottom, Granger and Moon, had officially tried to follow the troll and beat it. Due to this foolishness, ten points had been taken off Gryffindor per student. The Slytherin had been quite happy about the thirty points loss and one of the prefects, Harry thought it had been Weasley, had scolded them loudly in the Great Hall.

Harry didn't really know what to think of it. He doubted that any of theses three students, even though they were Gryffindors, were so dumb to go after a troll without a really good reason, but he kept these thoughts to himself.

And at the moment, Harry had other things to worry about like his detention.

So he shook his head his head to clear his thoughts of the three Gryffindors and concentrated on the way before him – the way to his most feared place in Hogwarts – "his" dungeon.

In his head, he was already thinking about the horrible things his father would do to him in a bit but he tried to keep it off his mind – unsuccessfully.

But today, things would be really strange for Harry.

Normally, he would have to wait at least ten minutes till the older Potter would show up, just to heighten the fear in his son. But this time, Professor Potter was already there and he seemed strangely preoccupied.

If Harry hadn't known better, he would have said that he was even scared, which made no sense.

"Harry**.**"

Even his voice was different as James said his name.

Normally there would be at least some hate or at least disdain in his voice but this time, it was more like a cautious welcome.

Cautiously, Harry nodded and waited. Normally, he would have already been shoved against a wall and stripped**,** but today, everything was different.

For a moment, the Slytherin wondered if the older man had been hit by the troll's club a few days ago**,** but then he discarded that idea as stupid. James had been no where close to the beast before the professor had stupefied it.

As his father started to talk, he stopped wondering and just concentrated on the present.

"I don't want to see you anywhere this weekend." It seemed as if James had a hard time finding the right words to say, which made no sense to Harry but he listened closely anyway.

"I want you to stay in your room or somewhere I won't have to see you. You are not allowed to go to the Quidditch match or to the library. If I see you, you will get a detention again and that time, I won't be as gracious as now."

The ex-gryffindor stopped again, looked nervously around the room, nodded and continued his strange speech.

"I think that the shock with the troll is a sufficient punishment for your misdemeanour of this months, so don't make me rethink this decision. I'm merciful enough with you ungrateful, little…"

James had big troubles stopping himself continuing, but he did.

Harry was just confused what could have happened to his father to make him act to strangely.

"Do you understand?"

James hardly looked at him but Harry nodded anyway.

"Yes, I won't leave my room this weekend and won't watch the Quidditch game or go to the library. I understand, sir." Harry answered and then watched, as his father wasted no time to leave the room as fast as possible without running.

All and all, the professor left a very confused Slytherin behind.

After a moment, Harry shrugged and left the dungeon, thankful that he didn't have to look after his wounds. He wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, even a strange one like this.

In the end, no one saw neither hide nor hair of him for the rest of the day and weekend but Harry wasn't really concerned. It wasn't as if anyone would really notice.

* * *

Harry was sitting outside on one of the Quidditch stands. He really liked to sit on these high benches when there was no game and no loud pupils screaming at each other. He hadn't watched the first Quidditch game of Slytherin in November because of that strange detention after Halloween.

That peculiar punishment still left him wondering what had happened to his father at that time, but whatever it had been, it wasn't going to repeat itself.

Only after a week of James odd behaviour which extended to leaving Harry alone even when he met him, he started going back to his old behaviour pattern. Harry had no idea why the older Potter had even started with his neutral behaviour but Harry knew that it wasn't very likely to return.

Maybe it had really been the shock of the troll but Harry doubted it. It wasn't as if someone else had suddenly started caring about Harry after it.

The only ones, who had been worried after the troll incident, had been Madam Pomfrey and Boris. Madam Pomfrey had kept him for the night even though he had been fine after the calming draught. And then he had to come back the next day for a check-up. Luckily, they had been only talking, for which Harry had been very thankful because Madam Pomfrey hadn't done a full health analysis of him. He only hoped that it stayed this way.

Well, and Boris had written back as fast as humanly, or to be exact, _owly_ possible after he had sent him a short letter about the incident. He had wanted to know if he was had talked to someone about it and if he was alright, if he had seen the nurse for his injuries even though Harry had told him he had none. And he also said that if Harry wanted, he could of course write to him even more often and more detailed. Harry had only smiled at the letter and his good friend. It was nice to be cared for and Harry had even replied every letter a bit faster than before.

At the moment, Harry was answering the last letter Boris had sent him. Boris had told him that Professor Snape was quite depressed that Harry wasn't at Hogwarts but at the same time relieved because he still could go to a school. It seemed that the potions master had feared the worst when he hadn't been able to find Harry and had been afraid that his relatives hadn't let him attend the wizarding school.

The ironic part of this story was that Professor Snape had said that at least he was thankful that Lucas hadn't been in danger of meeting a troll. Harry was thankful that he had written about a boggart and not the truth about a troll. He had also told Boris that the incident happened a few days after Halloween to squash any connection the man might see between his incident and the one in Hogwarts.

He hadn't told him what his boggart was and knew that Boris would know that it was a very personal thing to Harry and that he wanted it to keep for himself.

In the new letter Harry was writing, he left the parts mentioning Snape unanswered and wrote as detailed as possible about his life at his school without giving away any names. He told Boris all about his studies and that he was one of the best in his year but that he hadn't found any real friends, yet.

Harry tried to make it sound as if he had some friend he hung out with but no best friend. But he knew that Boris would probably read between the lines and knew that he was on his own. And because he knew that Boris would be angry on his behalf he already felt better.

Harry finished writing the letter a few minutes later and put it back into his bag to bring it to the owlery later on. He stretched and looked on last time down on the Quidditch pitch. He really liked this place. He had found out that this part of the stands were perfect to just sit and read or write and enjoy the weather. And the best was that he was nearly invisible due to the wooden boundaries that enclosed the stands. So even if one of the team had Quidditch training he wouldn't be seen and could enjoy the day outside without worrying about being bullied by some kids.

He closed his eyes and felt the cold wind blowing in his hair. It was at the end of November and the day was unusually warm. Harry had still used a warming charm he had looked up, so that he could sit outside for a few hours without worrying about the cold. But even though it was a sunny day and his warming charms were working nicely, it soon became too chilly to sit outside any longer. Therefore after a few minutes after finishing the letter, Harry stood up, stretched and made his way down the benches and back to the school.

He walked slowly to the entrance door and enjoyed the last sunlight before he walked into the dark entrance hall. He closed his eyes for a moment to make it easier to see again in the much darker hall and when he opened then again, the Slytherin Quidditch team just came up the stairs.

Flint, the prefect and also the captain of the time spared him just a short glance but just kept on walking. But some of the other Slytherins weren't so nice. One of the boys, Harry recognized him as the same huge boy who regularly bullied him in the common room, stopped and smirked nastily at him.

"Well, if this isn't our little wrongly sorted Gryffindork! What were you doing outside? Trying to decide if you want to jump in the lake and give us all an early Christmas present? If you need any help, don't hesitate to ask, Potty!"

Two others of the team laughed but Harry didn't pay any attention to them and just kept walking. The bad thing was that he had to pass the Slytherins so he hoped they would start moving again soon. Only Flint had already passed him and was nearly outside.

Harry was so determined to ignore the Quidditch team, that he missed the warning look Flint gave the fifth year from the entrance door. But he did hear the captain say quite clearly "Derrick" in a slightly threatening tone when the boy opened his mouth again, probably to insult him some more.

Derrick closed his mouth but seemed to think about what he could say next. Flint didn't look back again and disappeared outside. Derrick smiled cruelly at him and would have probably spouted some more nonsense if not for Adrian Snape.

Harry hadn't even seen him behind the other Slytherin. He hadn't even known that Professor Snape's son was on the Quidditch team but then he remembered that Snape had told him that Adrian loved that sport.

But Harry focused on the situation at hand and surveyed the second year. He had black hair and black eyes just like his father but his skin wasn't as pale, probably because he spent more time outside. He also didn't have the crooked nose his father was famous for and would probably become even taller than the professor because he was already quite tall for a second year.

In the short time Harry had looked Adrian over from head to toe, the Slytherin had started to walk in front of the other boys.

"Come on, guys. I really want to go to the pitch on time and use every minute of it. Captain Flint is already outside and you know that he doesn't like us to be late. So, if you are so keen on tormenting some first year, then please do it some other time, alright?"

And with these words, Adrian walked past Harry and out of the entrance hall. Harry could have sworn that the boy even winked at him before leaving, but he wasn't really sure.

But Adrian's small speech worked and the other Slytherin hurried after the second year and didn't spare Harry another look.

Harry decided then and there that maybe there was still a chance for him to belong to Slytherin. Obviously, Snape's son liked him or at least didn't hate him and that had to count for something, right?

Maybe the new year would be better for him. He couldn't wait for New Year's Eve.

* * *

It was already December when his father handed out his monthly detention to him. Harry was still surprised that no one noticed the regular detentions. Or maybe they did and just thought that it was more a chance to talk for father and son.

"Detention, Mister Potter. Tonight at 8 o'clock in my office," said James Potter with a disappointed face as if it was Harry's fault that he didn't know the answer. Harry had known the answer, of course, but he had learned the lesson of being intelligent in his first weeks.

After the failed attempt of his father to give him points for the most ridiculous things and trying to make the Slytherins hate him, he had chosen a different approach. He would ask Harry questions or make him demonstrate some spell in front of the class and then appoint him a large amount of points. And the more points Harry got, the more strikes he would get later.

Thankfully, Harry had already hid his knowledge and talent in his other subjects and also in defence so that he could give wrong answers without the other being too suspicious. In the beginning, the Slytherins had hated him a bit more for not giving the right answer when they were sure he knew it, but after a while they came to the conclusion that Defence Against the Dark Arts was really a subject he had no talent for.

It was a good thing that he had no friends who knew his grades and could tell the others that he was one of the best in his classes. But he applied himself only on the written tests and when he had to complete a spell or transformation to get full marks.

The teacher just thought that he was too shy to speak up in front of the class, which suited him perfectly. But his father, of course, didn't respect his wishes and still found ways to make his life hell. Therefore it came to no big surprise when the detention was handed out without an acceptable reason.

"Yes, Sir," Harry answered his professor and looked back down on his book. He knew that the detention wouldn't be in the office but in one of the dungeon rooms where no one would find them. Harry closed his eyes a moment to draw some strength from within him and then continued as if nothing had happened. Or as if nothing was going to happen…

* * *

"Hold still!"

His fath…Professor Potter pushed him harshly back against the cold wall. They were in the same room in the dungeons; they had been the last time. It was as far as way as one could be without getting lost in the endless hallways.

Harry had thought that his punishment had been over but it seemed as if his father wasn't finished yet. He just hoped that he wouldn't add too many strikes or he didn't know if he could walk back to his room. He had already problems thinking clearly while his back was on fire.

Harry turned his back to his father, put his hands over his head again and waited for the next strike.

But it never came.

Instead, he heard some mumbled words and the pain in his back lessened. His fa…professor healed most of his wounds until he could be sure that none of them would hurt so much that Harry couldn't hide them.

While he was healing gash after gash Professor Potter began speaking.

"As I am a professor, we will stay at Hogwarts this Christmas, so you will as well. I hope you don't expect any presents but if anyone should ask you," his tone of voice let Harry knew how possible it seemed for the older man, "you have received some new books about defence against dark creatures and duelling and some new clothes and sweets. I also expect from you that you will stay in your room on Christmas Eve and on Christmas Day, so that Jonathan and I can spend some time together. I will send you a house-elf for food, so you shouldn't be hungry and have no reason to get out of your room. If anyone asks, you tell them that you spend both days with us talking, playing chess and exchanging presents. Don't forget anything or the consequences will be dire."

James Potter paused for a moment as if waiting for his son to say anything but Harry only nodded without turning around.

"Put some clothes on and go back to your common room. It's nearly curfew and I wouldn't want to take points from Slytherin because you are too slow." And with these words, the DADA-professor turned his back on his son and walked out of the room.

Only after Harry was sure that the man had left, he turned around and let his hateful glance fall on the door where his professor had walked through. It wasn't the first time Harry hated someone with every fibre of his body but it was the first time he knew, that this opinion of James Potter would never change.

And as he put on his clothes, mindful of his injuries, he made a little promise to himself.

"One day, you will pay for everything you've put me through."

And as he started to put on his Slytherin tie, he held the green-silver cloth in front of his face for a moment and glared at it for a long moment.

"And one day, all of you oh-so-cunning-Slytherins will know that they made a grave mistake the moment they started bullying me and making my life hell. One day, you will all be so sorry, but then it will be too late."

With these words, Harry fastened the tie around his neck and thought of all the different ways of making someone hurt. But then he thought of Draco, Blaise and Adrian who even though they hadn't helped him outright or stood by him, were still trying to make a difference and helped him with small things. And as he acknowledged that these people may still deserve a chance, he couldn't chase away another face in his head who wouldn't get a second chance.

"Yes, one day, you will be a very sorry man, Professor Snape."

And as he left the room and looked back to the wall he had stood against for half an hour and been hurt by his own father, he wondered why no one noticed, especially his head of house. But Harry just shook his head and walked back to his room.

"And when you know the truth, Professor Snape, and you are a very sorry man, I don't know if I'm going to be a very merciful boy."

And with these words, he pushed his thoughts about his last detention, Slytherins and potions master to the back of his mind.

* * *

_Okay…that was chapter 21. I hope you liked it!!!_

_I'm sorry that here is no direct Snape – Harry confrontation but at least we know a bit more about Snape through Boris' letters to Harry :)_

_But there will be much more of Snape in the next chapter, I promise :D_

_Some people asked about Lily's curse:_

_First of all for those who have asked why Lily didn't talk to Snape:  
She was only able to let one person see her, that's the restricted of the ritual used. She decided to go and lecture James, so she couldn't be seen by her son or Snape._

_Secondly, why the curse ended:_

_Even though Lily was in James dream and the curse and all was real, it stopped working after a while. Because Halloween **is** the holiday where the dead and living are as much bounded as possible, it's the only possibility that charm and the curses work. After a while, they loose their effect because the two worlds depart from each other again and the force behind the curse becomes less and less._

_I hope you understand my reasoning :)_

_And to my little bully named Derrick:_

_I didn't find an exact date for his attendance, so in my fic he will be a fifth year. I think it also explains why no one in Slytherin even tries to defend Harry in the common room because Derrick is on the Quidditch team and therefore has a lot of respect. It doesn't make it right but hey…nothing is really fair and especially not in this fic ;)_

_And my fic created its own scene again…_

_I hope you like the extra pages you got out of this idea but the best way is always to write me a review :D_

_So…thank you for reading and have a great week and weekend!!!_

_Chau,_

_Sam :)_


	23. Chapter TwentyTwo

**_And Still Can't Stop Hoping_**

* * *

**_Summary:_**_AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harrys mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

**_Disclamer: _**_Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you dont know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J., Im only using them ;)_

_Sentences written in ____Italics__ are Harry's thoughts._

_A HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!_

_I'm sorry you had to wait so long again but well...Christmas was more hectic that year and so, sadly, this Christmas chapter is a bit late...but I hope, you'll like it anyway :)_

**_AND_**_a really good thing is that this chapter is the longest I've ever written...so enjoy :) _

_Thank you all for being so patient and I can only promise that I won't abandon this story, even if it takes me fifty years to finish ;)_

_Bye, Sam :)_

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Severus Snape was sitting in his office, drinking a hot cup of tea and reading the last letter from Boris.

His old friend had written him of the boggart Lucas had to face, about his studies and how well he did in all of them. Severus was really proud of the first year and a bit sad that Lucas' potions instructor wasn't as well educated as he had hoped.

Maybe Lucas might come to Hogwarts one day and Severus could instruct himself.

He thought of his first years and knew that he couldn't complain that much. He had two really good potions brewer in that class – Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger. In the beginning he had suspected that the Potter boy could have some talent for potions but after nearly four months of classes, there were still days when his potions ended up completely wrong.

But still, Severus wished that Lucas would attend Hogwarts, so that he could practise with him and teach him more. But he didn't know where the boy attended school and so he couldn't really know who was instructing him so inadequately.

Severus had even written to his old acquaintance Igor Karkaroff and asked if there was a first year named Lucas. The reply was short and negative and so Severus had searched again. But he couldn't ask every headmaster in Europe about their students, as Dumbledore had kindly pointed out as Severus had asked him to write a letter to Madam Maxime, the headmistress of Beauxbatons.

All the letters Severus had tried to send to Lucas had failed. Even when he tried the method Boris used, the owl would just stay where it was. They just wouldn't leave the owlery and therefore, after about twenty attempts, he had stopped.

But as he was reading Boris' letter, he suddenly had an idea. On second thought, he wondered why he had never thought of it before, but there was no use crying over spilled milk. He would just ask Boris to send Severus' letter with his own.

Severus smiled and just started writing a letter to Lucas, when his office door opened and his son came in.

"Adrian, how are you?"

His son shut the door behind him and sat down in front of desk.

"I am well, but I think you should really do something for your first years or at least one of them."

His son looked sternly at him, which was quite funny as his son was only twelve years old but he didn't smile. Severus wouldn't want his son to think that he didn't take him seriously.

"You mean the Potter boy, don't you?" Severus asked calmly.

"See! You even call him _Potter boy_. It's not his name, it's Harry, you know? But I think a lot of the Slytherins think exactly like that and make his life hell. Why don't you do something against it? I thought Slytherins stick together?"

Severus sighed.

He really didn't want to think of the boy because he didn't know what to do about him anymore either. In the beginning, it had seemed so easy. Warn his snakes to be cautious, ignore the Slytherin as best as he could so that he wouldn't be mean to a Slytherin just because he looked like James Potter and then after a while, everything should be obvious.

But it hadn't worked out his way.

Severus had probably done more harm than good with ignoring the Slytherin because of the other snakes it was sign enough to know that there was something different with the boy. Well, and his warnings in the beginning of the year hadn't really helped either.

"I thought that Draco wanted to talk to him and maybe get him to join his little group of friends?" He asked his son.

"He wanted to in the beginning. But it wasn't so easy because I think that Harry didn't even notice or just didn't believe that it wasn't a joke or something. I mean, it was a bit late for it, don't you think? Four months in the first school year and then Draco finally makes a move? And didn't you notice that Harry has changed? He is even more withdrawn than before and well…he's different somehow, I just don't know how."

Adrian seemed to be angered at himself for not figuring it out. Severus was proud that his son noticed that much more than he himself had and told him so.

"But I still don't know if that isn't a plot of his father to spy on my snakes, Adrian. I know I might be paranoid but how can I not be with his father and brother?"

And the mention of Jonathan Potter, Adrian wrinkles his nose.

"I know, with these two as family you never know, but still. Shouldn't we leave room for doubt? I mean…wasn't that what made your own school days so hard? Because of these prejudices?"

Severus closed as eyes for a moment. Sometimes, his son was too smart for his own good, but still he couldn't help but disagree.

"The Potter b…", because of the look his son was giving him, he corrected himself, "_Harry_ isn't like me. He has his father who pampers his sons and he has his brother even though they are in different houses. I've seen them talking normally enough in the library a few times."

Well, he had only seen it once but that didn't matter now.

"Whatever, I didn't come here to only talk about him." Adrian smiled at him and so the conversation shifted to other topics like Quidditch, potions, homework and what else Adrian had done since the last time he had talked to his father.

Severus put the letter for Lucas one the side of his desk to finish it later.

* * *

As Adrian had noticed, Harry's behaviour changed slightly. Of course, the boy in question thought that no one really noticed it but for a few of the bullies who had always taken great pleasure in tormenting him.

It wasn't as if he really acted differently but there was a new, determined aura around him. His face became more and more closed off, so that the mask he had worn before only in the presence of his father or the Dursleys became his constant friend.

His eyes lost all their feelings in them and became as cold as his mask.

But even thought he changed so much on the outside, he was still the same boy inside. But his decision to make everyone pay once it was the time helped him to sustain the mask and there were less taunts everyday. But of course, they wouldn't stop completely.

The only person, with whom Harry could still be himself, was Madam Pomfrey. They often met to drink some tea and eat biscuits and Harry loved these times when he could talk to someone who really cared about him.

Professor Snape still hadn't changed his behaviour that much but Harry could have sworn that the potions master had looked at him more closely since his decision to become less of a target.

Harry didn't know what to make of it but became a bit more cautious on his way to his brewing place anyway.

He had even thought that Professor Snape wanted to talk to him after one lesson but even if that had been the case, the potions master seemed to have thought better of it and had stalked out of the room.

Harry had just looked confused after him.

Another person who changed a bit was Adrian.

Harry didn't know why but at least twice a week, the young Snape would sit at his table in the library, read, do his homework and sometimes even ask him about it. Harry didn't know yet what Adrian thought he accomplished with it but he didn't mind him.

It even helped because whenever Adrian sat with him, the other Slytherins who liked to bully him would stay away. But still, Harry had never asked Adrian anything or talked to him about anything different than the older boy's homework.

He had thought he could trust a Snape once, he wouldn't do so easily again.

It was on one of these days when they were sitting in the library that Harry remembered that today was the 24th of December and he had to stay in his room beginning this evening. It was nearly four o'clock when Harry packed his things and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Adrian asked him. Normally they would pack their bags silently and walk to dinner together without saying anything (at least on Harry's part) but as it was still early, Adrian was confused.

"It's Christmas Eve and my father will await me soon in his rooms."

Harry said shortly, wished the other boy a merry Christmas and walked out of the library. He only hoped that his wishes hadn't come out too bitter.

Adrian instead wondered why the younger boy seemed to be so depressed about Christmas. As the boy thought about it, he tried to remember a time when the younger Slytherin had seemed happy about the feast. He couldn't recall a sole moment.

* * *

It was Christmas Eve and Harry was sitting on his bed, reading a book. He had already sent his presents off the day before and pretended that today was an ordinary day, just like any other in the year.

He was reading a book on healing potions that could help him later on, if he really got apprenticed by Madam Pomfrey. His present for her was a small package of the tea and the biscuits she liked so much. He had even made the biscuits by himself and hoped that she liked them.

To Boris, he had sent some of the potions the older man had always needed the most in his shop when Harry had been working there. And because the man was one of two who was interested in his school work, he even sent him a little green-black stone which he had transfigured out of a cotton ball. As Professor McGonagall had suggested, he had sent it to a dear friend.

He had even bought a little present for his brother. Why, he wasn't really sure because Jonathan was still a brat most of the times but then, sometimes, when no one else was around, he spoke to him as if he really was his brother and not some nuisance he was related to.

And because of these few times, Harry still had some hope left for his brother and had sent him some chocolate frogs and a book about defence against the dark arts. It was one of the few subjects his brother really enjoyed and Harry hoped that Jonathan would like his present.

And then he was at the end of the people to send presents to.

And when he thought of how many presents he might receive, he counted even less.

* * *

Harry awoke the next morning to somebody complaining loudly. He thought it sounded a lot like someone imitating a snake but he wasn't really sure why anyone would do that.

Slowly, he rose so he was sitting on his bed and looked at the end of it, where the complaints were coming from.

"_Where am I? I want to get out of here! It's too cold, I have no food and it's too cold! Stupid humans with their stupid actions. The next one I'll see will never ever wish to see a snake again."_

At these words, Harry set up a bit straighter.

He could understand something that a **snake** said?

That was not good, so not good at all.

Harry put his head into his hands and tried to stay calm.

He could understand snakes.

He was a Parselmouth.

He sighed.

"_Come here, stupid human. I can smell you…just come a bit closer and I give you a really, really nice present…with my nice, long teeth."_

Harry snorted. At least he wouldn't die if he could really speak to it.

Harry cleared his throat and opened his mouth to try to speak to the snake btu then he thought better of it and shook his head.

How stupid could one be?

He hadn't even opened the present which stood among a few others at the end of his bed. Maybe this was just a joke of some sorts and there wasn't even a real snake in it but just the sounds of one. Maybe someone just wanted to frighten him.

Slowly, he crawled to the end of the bed and took a medium sized present where he thought the sounds came from. A moment later, this suspicion was confirmed when another round of complaints was heard.

"_Stupid, stupid human._ _Of course, just take the present and shake it. No, of course snakes love to be thrown up and down in a box."_

This time, Harry laughed and put the box softly in front of him on the blanket. Carefully, he unwrapped the gift paper and revealed a glass box with an European viper in it. It lacked any pattern and was entirely dark. The scales were shimmering softly from the fire in the fireplace. And even though it wasn't speaking at the moment, Harry could see that the snake was really irritated.

"_And now welcome to "Out of the box" or "Why ugly humans look stupid when rudely watching other people or snakes."_

Harry laughed again and this time he didn't try to stop himself from speaking.

"_Why hello to you, too. You are the first snake that I've met that speaks."_

"_Of course do I speak. You humans are only too stupid to understand us mighty creatures."_

Harry looked amused at the arrogant snake and waited until it dawned to it that a human had just talked to her.

He didn't have to wait too long.

The head suddenly soared to the front of the glass and looked at Harry with much more interest than before.

"_You speak. Maybe I don't have to kill you at all then."_

"_How very generous of you."_ Harry answered sarcastically but he smiled.

"_So…may I take you out of the box? Only if you promise not to bite me, of course."_ He told it.

_"I promise, so you may take me out of this shabby box, human. And you may also handle me with utmost care." _

Harry didn't answer but opened the glass box and took the snake carefully out of it. Boy and snake just looked at each other for a long time until the snake seemed to nod.

"_You are worthy of taking care of me. My name is Salem. And if you take good care of me, human, I'll even name you. And you can begin earning your name by getting me something to eat. I prefer white mice if you'd please be so kind…"_

Harry laughed and got up to get his new friend the requested food.

* * *

Harry was sitting on his bed unwrapping his other presents after his new friend had fallen asleep on his pillow. Well, said friend was acting more like Harry was the pet and it the owner but he didn't mind. It was kind of refreshing to have someone so sarcastic and snobby to talk to, because he knew that it wasn't meant to be hurtful. But he'd probably need some more time to get used to Salem.

Of course, he was a bit shocked that he was a Parselmouth. It just seemed to fit into the picture of the dark, bad Slytherin and Death Eater in training his father had already of him. But if it meant that he had a new friend, Harry just couldn't bring himself to feel bad about it.

Now that said friend was finally sated and asleep, Harry was able to open the other presents.

From Madam Pomfrey, he had got an animated doll of a human which showed him all the asked details of the human body when pointed to the interested area. It would help him a lot understanding healing because he could see the described areas a spell or potion affected.

From Boris, he had received a chess board where the chess pieces were different potions, potions master or ingredients. It was quite beautiful and Harry loved it very much. He had also got an elegant black potions diary, so that he could write his experiments into it. With these two presents, he had received a letter wishing him merry Christmas and telling him about Boris' shop and also about Professor Snape.

It seemed that the professor had tried to send him many letters but not one owl could be found who would deliver it or at least leave the school. They both didn't know what happened, so the professor was going to send his letters with Boris from now on.

With shaking hands, Harry took the second letter and opened it slowly. But before he could read it, he put it down again.

He stared at it as if it would bite him but the boy just didn't know what to do.

On the one hand, he wanted nothing more than to get back to the way things were before.

But on the other hand, the potions master had shown time and time again that he wasn't to be trusted.

But then Harry remembered that the professor had changed a bit over the last few weeks and had shown more interest in him.

Harry didn't know what to do about it.

His sight fell on a small present he hadn't noticed before. With shaking hands, he unwrapped it and looked at the silver pendant in his hands. It was a beautiful crafted caduceus, a staff entwined by two serpents and on top of it were two delicate wings which fluttered softly as Harry moved the pendant slowly.

In the present was a small note: "To keep you safe from boggarts and other dark creatures. – SS"

Harry held the beautiful gift to his heart and couldn't help but start crying.

He looked at the letter as if it could answer all his questions.

Why was Master Snape so nice to him?

And why did Professor Snape hate him?

Harry let himself cry for a few moments before putting the letter with the pendent on top on his desk. But a second later, the boy took the pendent again and put the smooth necklace around his neck, the caduceus cool against his skin.

Smiling softly, he looked at his presents from Boris and Madam Pomfrey.

He didn't allow his smile to slip as he noticed that he hadn't got anything from Jonathan.

* * *

The next morning, Harry was walking down the stairs to the Slytherin common room. Harry was allowed to go to the Great Hall again and planned to have breakfast there. Even though a house elf had brought him all the meals to his room, he still needed to get out of it and take a walk on the grounds. Salem had gone back to sleep after getting Harry's promise to bring him food.

The letter from Master Snape still lay unopened on his desk but now he had a plan to decide what he should do.

After breakfast, he would go to the professor's office and ask him for permission of owning a snake. Of course, he wouldn't tell him that he already had one but it might show Harry a bit more about the man – or at least, that's what he was hoping for.

His thoughts were interrupted by his least favourite person.

„And little Gryffindor? Do you like our present?" Derrick asked loudly so that everyone in the common room could hear it. There weren't a lot of people, yet, as it was still early and many Slytherins had gone home to their families but the few already up seemed interested in the confrontation.

Derrick's friends were already laughing at Harry.

But the first year just ignored the boy and walked on to the exit. At least he now knew who had given him Salem. It was funny that a nasty intended joke of a bully had resulted into a new friend, but Harry wouldn't tell him that.

"Hey! I was talking to you! Obviously you weren't bitten or we would finally be Gryffindor-free again but what did you do to the snake?" The boy asked rudely but he couldn't quite hide his curiosity.

Harry stopped for a second, turned around and said coolly. "I killed it, of course. What did you think I would do to a _snake_?" For effect, he raised his left eyebrow, mustered the boy coldly and waited for an answer.

But the older Slytherin was apparently too shocked by the first-year's answer and after waiting a second longer, Harry left the common room without further interruption.

* * *

Harry stood in front of the potions master door and knocked calmly. The sign that last time had given him so much hope was now just a silent reminder of how the potions master had disappointed him.

**"****Office of the current Potions Master and Head of Slytherin House**  
**Severus Snape"**

'Yes,' Harry thought, 'and he did such a good job of being the perfect head of Slytherin house to me.'

Harry shook his head to make these thoughts disappear. Now was not the time to think about it. He would see what the professor said to his request and then, in the safety of his room, he might think, react and be sad all he wanted.

A loud 'Come in!' made his thoughts finally disappear and Harry opened the door to the office. With some irony, he noted that at least this time, he saw the interior of the office.

The first thing Harry noticed was the big desk in the middle of the room, behind it Hogwarts' potions master. A fire was lit in the fireplace which gave the room a warm glow. Every wall was lined with high shelves in which glass jars with different potions or potions ingredients were stored. Only the shelf behind the desk was filled with books of different sizes and colours. In one of the corners was a closed store, so that no one could see its contents. Next to the store was a door and one of the few torches that helped to lit the office.

Harry noticed that the office was quite large, too, for it held an extra desk and chair in another corner. As he heard the ticking of a clock, he realized that he might have needed more time looking around than the professor would probably spare him, so he looked finally at the face of his head of house.

To his surprise, the older man didn't seem to be irritated at Harry being in his office. When the potions master saw that he had the first year's attention, he bid him with a hand motion to take a seat.

"How may I help you, Mister Potter?" Professor Snape asked him in a neutral tone.

Harry couldn't help but be surprised. He hadn't expected such a polite welcome. Cautiously, he sat down on the offered chair and started speaking.

"I wanted to ask you about the rule about familiars in the school, sir. I wanted to know if this rule only applies to animals in the school or if it also applies to animals only kept in our dorm."

The potions master mustered him critically and answered finally guardedly.

"Normally, this rule also applies to familiars in your dorm but as this rule was established as a consideration to ones room mates, I think that in your case, we might make an exception. You do live alone, don't you, Mister Potter?"

A bit ashamed, but hopefully without showing it, Harry nodded. It wasn't as if he didn't like his private room, but to know that it was something that happened so seldom, still made him feel like an outsider. Even though it was the truth, Harry didn't like to be reminded of it.

But in this case, it was a good thing, he assured himself, because it allowed him to keep Salem. So, Harry sat up a bit straighter in his chair and looked his head of the house into the eyes. The black eyes were as piercing as they had been the first time he had looked into them and suddenly he knew that the professor was trying to use Legilimency on him.

It was a good thing that he hadn't neglected his Occlumency exercises and even managed to become better at it. The only thing the professor would be able to see where thoughts about having a pet for his room and his plans to go to breakfast after this conversation.

"Yes, I do live alone." Harry answered as if nothing had happened in the last seconds. The professor blinked twice and the stare wasn't quite as sharp as before anymore.

"As you don't have any other familiars, I'll allow you to have this one. But if you don't mind asking, Mister Potter…what pet did you obtain?"

Harry couldn't keep his shock quite out of his face at that easy admission to his request but it only lasted a second before he looked as collected as ever. And it was only fair to tell the professor what pet he had got.

"Some of my house mates thought it was a nice idea to get me a present, since it was obvious that I wouldn't get many. So they bought me a beautiful snake. Do you know where I might get some things for it since they didn't think of that little bit?"

Harry asked that question immediately afterwards, so that the professor wouldn't concentrate on the fact that his house mates had got him a snake as a present. Because he was sure that the professor would know that it hadn't been meant as a nice gift.

At the same time, Harry acknowledged that he was very confused by his head of house's behaviour. He didn't know what to think. Until now, the professor hadn't acted at all like he thought he would. He hadn't thrown him out of his office the moment he had seen him, he hadn't shouted at him or had been degrading at all. Harry was quite surprised by his professor but he wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

"A snake? I hope it hasn't hurt you?" The potions master waited until Harry nodded affirmative before continuing. Harry was proud of himself that he didn't show any shock at this question. Since when was the older interested in his health?

"I will give you a catalogue to order from Magical Menagerie. I'm certain that they have adequate equipment for your snake, if that is alright with you. I'm sure that you will find something that makes it feel at home in Slytherin."

Harry nodded respectfully to professor Snape, thanked him and stood up. He thought for a second to only say goodbye but he couldn't stop the words coming out of his mouth.

"Thank you a lot, professor. I promise I'll take care of the snake. Not only because I'm a Slytherin, because I would have taken care of it even if I hadn't been sorted into Slytherin. I swear I will do anything I can to keep it safe and so will everyone else in Slytherin. I mean, no one would harm Salazar Slytherin's pet, would they?"

And with these words, which had a bit too much feeling in them for Harry's taste, he left the office and shut the door softly behind him. He closed his eyes, breathed deeply in and out, and after a short moment, opened them again and walked to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Harry hadn't seen the confused expression on the potions master face as he had been walking out of the room but he hadn't needed to. He was sure that these words might have triggered something in the memory of the older man, but he doubted that the professor would remember where he had heard them.

Or that the potions master himself had been the one to say them to a small, hopeful boy he had lost the moment of the first night of the school year without even knowing.

* * *

_Please review!!! I hope you liked it!! (or if not, please tell me which parts you didn't like)_

_I hope that you had a wonderful time with your families, friends, significant other or whoever on Christmas Eve and Boxing day ...and New Year's Eve, of course :)_

_Have a nice weekend and thank you for your patience :),  
Chau, Sam_


	24. Chapter TwentyThree

**_And Still Can't Stop Hoping_**

* * *

**_Summary: _**_AU: Neville was named the Boy-who-lived. Harry's mother died giving birth to him and his father blames him for her death. And if you already have an heir in your family who really needs someone like Lucas Harry Potter?_

**_Disclamer: _**_Nothing but the idea, some new characters which you don't know from the books 1-6 are mine. Anything else like the characters belong to J., I'm only using them ;)_

_Well…new year, new luck and already a new chapter :D I really have to thank Brightfeather for her fast work!!! And I also want to say THANK YOU to the person who nominated this story for the **Quibbler Awards** (which you can find at quibbler dot this-paradise dot com) because it motivated me to write and finish this chapter so fast. So thank you! _

_Now…enjoy the chapter, my dear readers!_

_Chau,_

_Sam :)_

* * *

_**Chapter 23**_

After a nice long walk on the grounds, Harry was just on the way to the library when he heard his name being shouted. First he thought of ignoring the boy but when the Gryffindor called out again, Harry sighed, turned and waited for his brother to catch up.

Jonathan slowed down and walked up to his brother.

"Harry! Merry Christmas! I thought you would celebrate with us but then dad said that you had your own Slytherin party down there. Sorry, if I'd known I would have sent you your present to your dorm."

Harry was thankful that his brother turned away to take the present out of his bag because he couldn't conceal his shock. He had really thought that his brother just hadn't thought of giving him something or hadn't wanted to but to think that it had been only a misunderstanding…

Harry pushed the thought, that his brother had only bought something for him after receiving his, to the back of his mind. If Jonathan hadn't thought to get a present for Harry, he wouldn't have bothered to get one afterwards.

Therefore, Harry waited smiling for his brother to find the present.

"There you go. I know it's not much, but I hope you like it anyway," his older brother said and gave him a badly wrapped present. But before Harry could unwrap it, his brother cleared his throat.

"I know that you love books and all but then I was unsure which books you already had, so I thought I give you something that you probably hadn't got but still liked, so…I hope you like it!"

Bemused, Harry looked at his older brother who was blushing a deeper red with every second he talked. Most times he really wondered who of the two was the older brother and who the younger.

"Thank you, Jonathan," Harry said and without thinking about it, he gave his brother a short hug. It seemed enough because his brother beamed at him and then walked away after saying good-bye.

Harry smiled a bit longer, put the present in his bag and then walked in the library.

He sat down on his table and after making sure that no one was watching, took out his present. He unwrapped it slowly and when he saw the title of the book, he blinked.

He blinked again and before thinking about the significance, opened it on the first page. There, written in Jonathan's scrawl, was a short Christmas salutation.

_To my little brother for his first Christmas at Hogwarts._

_So that he knows that I know how different snakes can be._

_~ Jonathan ~_

Harry looked again at the cover of the book. The title '_1001 snakes and where they live'_ was written on it and Harry laughed and then smiled.

Jonathan's acceptance of his house was completely unexpected and therefore so much worth. And now he could even find out what kind of food Salem liked the most.

Smiling, he opened the book and looked through the pictures to find a snake that looked like Salem.

* * *

The next few days passed very quickly for Harry.

He had read everything he could about European vipers, what weather they liked, what they liked to eat and so on. Jonathan's book had been a great help and he had thanked him again for the book.

But now, on New Year's Eve, Harry still had one thing on his mind that wouldn't get away no matter how hard he tried to ignore it.

Professor Snape's letter.

It was still lying on his desk and Harry had been looking at it for the last ten minutes.

He couldn't even concentrate on his Occlumency exercises anymore and therefore it was clear to him – he had to read that letter.

Harry went to the desk and took the innocent looking letter and walked back to the bed where he had been sitting before.

He turned the white paper around and around but finally, he sighed and opened it slowly.

It was the last day of the year and therefore probably the best time to open the letter. Depending on the content of it, he could at least decide on a resolution for New Year.

With one last deep breath, Harry took the piece of paper out of the envelope, unfolded it and started reading.

_Dear Lucas,_

_How are you?_

_I'm sorry that I haven't sent you a letter sooner, but somehow, no owl wanted to leave Hogwarts to find you. Wherever you are, it seems to be well protected from the outerworld. I just hope that you have been safe and there have been no other incidents with Dark Creatures._

_If you should every encounter one, I hope that the present I've sent you, will help you. It is designed to shield you against subtle mental attacks and also lower keyed charms and hexes. I hope, of course, that you won't be in need of it**,** but one can never know._

_I wish you a merry Christmas and hope that you can enjoy it a bit._

_Adrian and I will spend it at Hogwarts again and I can only hope that my snakes behave so I may spend some time with my son. Even though we both live in the castle, we don't have nearly as much time to talk than I'd like. I can't even imagine what it would be like for us if I weren't working here as a professor._

_I'm still very sad that you haven't been able to come to Hogwarts. I think you might have fitted in nicely. I miss you especially in my potions class. This year, there are two students who will probably be decent potions brewer but no one of your knowledge and instincts._

_But at the same time I can't think but be a bit happy that at least haven't seen me behaving very un-slytherin. I've disregarded my own rules of house unity and equality and now I'm trying to make up for it. I hope it's not too late for it, but I'll try._

_You might wonder why I tell you this._

_I started writing this letter when my son came into my office and we talked about a boy I have likely treated unjustifiably badly. After he has left and I've continued writing this letter and I couldn't help but think what your reaction might have been. Or even what it would have been if you had been that boy._

_I couldn't stand that thought and so I hope that I will amend my behaviour. You can think of it as a New Year's resolution, if you like to._

_But enough of me and my plans._

_I hope that you have a great Christmas and that you like your presents. _

_If you still have some questions about potions, Hogwarts or anything at all, I'd love to help you._

_Merry Christmas and a happy New Year,_

_Master Severus Snape_

Harry stared at the letter a long time, not knowing if he should laugh because of the irony that Master Snape would write about him as Harry, or cry because he didn't know what to do about this knowledge.

In the end he did both.

* * *

The next day, Harry finished reading in the library late in the evening. He hadn't noticed that Madam Pince hadn't been there and therefore, no one had told him that curfew was only two minutes away.

Hurriedly, Harry put the book back on the shelf and walked fast out of his favourite place in Hogwarts. As he only had few minutes left until he would lose points for being out of the common room, he took a route he rarely used. Therefore, he hoped that the professor wouldn't look there first.

He was just walking down a narrow corridor when a light caught his eye.

It shone out from a disused room to his left from which the door was slightly ajar.

Looking at his watch he saw that he was already late, he shrugged and decided to have a look at whatever was glowing. He opened the door a bit more, walked in and closed the door quietly behind him.

It was dark inside the room and fell over a waste-paper basket which fell to the floor. Thankfully, it was made of something that looked like willow, and didn't make a sound. Now, Harry was very carefully to knock over some piled up chairs or desks and walked slowly to the object that had caused him to overlook the basket in the first place.

It was a beautiful, tall mirror with an adorned gold frame.

"Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on whosi", Harry read quietly and considered the words for a moment before he smiled.

_I show not your face but your heart's desire._

He was already moving towards it but stopped himself after only two steps.

Did he really want to know his own desire?

But then he nodded to himself.

Of course, this knowledge could only help him and made him more aware of his thoughts and wishes. So taking a deep breath, Harry took the last steps and looked into the mirror.

To his shock, his real face was looking back at him and not his glamoured self.

He conjured a little mirror and looked at it. To his relief, the glamour was still in place and then he hit himself.

The mirror was a magical mirror and showed his heart's desire. It was no real surprise that he would also show his real face. He smiled to himself when he thought that the inscription said that it wouldn't show his face.

He took another breath and looked into the mirror again.

Again, his real self looked back at him but he was smiling happily. His other self was just standing there for a short while, but then another person stepped up to him and gave him a hug.

Tears gathered in his eyes as he saw how beautiful his mom was and how lovingly she looked at him in the mirror. But then, another person appeared and Harry's sad smile slipped.

Of course.

He had deceived himself to believe that the opinion of Master Snape didn't matter to him anymore. But this mirror showed the truth. He still longed for the approval and warmth of the relationship he once had with the potions master.

Harry didn't noticed his father appearing in the background, broken with remorse and looked away in a prison or his brother standing a little behind him and casting hateful glares at their father. These two were only in the background and his father ever being remorseful was as impossible as his mother being there for him again.

For a moment, Harry was very tempted to curse the mirror but in the end, he didn't.

With one last sad gaze, he left the room and swore to himself to never look into it again.

Why agonize over something he'd never have?

* * *

After the incident with the meeting, Harry still didn't answer to Professor Snape's letter.

He wrote to Boris a few days after reading the other man's letter but he just couldn't bring himself to answer his potions master.

Especially now that he know how much the potions master approval and companionship meant to him, he couldn't risk to lose the last hope he still had for him.

Because even though the man had written that he was trying to make amends, Harry just didn't know what to write to him. Oh, well. If the Slytherin was honest, he knew exactly what he would write him but he didn't think the older man would appreciate his words.

His head of house had promised that he would better himself but Harry had yet to see it. And one incident in particular had shown him that the professor's words might be well meant but he hadn't acted on them.

Not once.

School had started a month ago and nothing had changed in the class room. Most times, he was still ignored by his potions professor and he only got cutting words the other time when he had managed to get some attention – mostly by ruining a potion by trying one something differently.

Well, when ruining that specific potion he had been just very bored. And he had always wanted to try out what would happen if he added the crushed dung beetle into an anti-hiccough potion while keeping the potion over the flames.

When the potion's colour changed from dark brown to a fiery red instead of the supposed orange, Harry was close to smiling. When even bright yellow bubbles from on the surface of his potion, he couldn't stop the small smile.

He wouldn't have thought that the reaction between dung beetles and dissolved frog eyes would bring such colourful results when they came in contact while being boiled.

Of course, professor Snape just snapped at him, vanished the potion and gave him a zero for that day's work.

Harry didn't care.

Because Snape already hated Harry. And if he still had his hope that he would at least still like Lucas, he could continue to hope for better.

That's why he also left the second letter from Snape unanswered.

* * *

The days dragged by and became weeks and finally months.

Harry spent his days studying, reading, writing letters to Boris, not responding to letters from Professor Snape and meeting with Madam Pomfrey.

Adrian Snape still kept him company in the library and they've even spoken a bit about their likes and dislikes. Only about food and drinks but it was progress. Sometimes, he also met with his brother to talk about Quidditch or homework.

Well, mostly, they spoke about homework because that was mainly the reason his brother sought him out but they've even managed some small talk. It wasn't much but Harry was still happy about the few times they managed to talk a bit like he thought normal brothers talked and acted around each other.

But the majority of his time spent with another student was with Adrian.

The other boy was nearly always there with him in the library, asking him about his homework, asking him of his opinion to his own homework. Sometimes, Adrian spoke about his Quidditch team and the new moves he had trained or about lessons and professors.

These were the times Harry liked best, not that he would tell the other boy that. But he cherished these moments the most because he could almost make himself believe that Adrian was his friend and that the other boy was talking to him because he liked him.

But still, Harry hadn't opened up that much to the other boy. If he was honest with himself, it was mostly because he was Professor Snape's son. And when he thought about that he had to wonder how he could make the same mistake in judging someone because of his parents when that was what had made him an outsider.

But he couldn't banish the doubts that Adrian was only trying to befriend him because of a strange try of the potions master to help Harry. The first-year couldn't stand the thought that someone would make such an effort to befriend him only because of orders of someone else, but he couldn't help himself.

Experience had taught him all about distrust and now it wouldn't leave him.

At the moment, Harry was again sitting at his work table in the library with Adrian.

He looked at his watch and saw that he had still fifteen minutes left before he had to go to lunch. For a while, he watched the other Slytherin working on his homework on the other side of the table.

Adrian was concentrating solely on the words he wrote but sometimes, he would stop, stare confused at his paper and then read a paragraph in the opened book before him. Then, nearly every time he started writing again, some strand of his black hair would have found its way into his eyes and he would thrust it back behind his ear.

Maybe, he could talk to someone like him. He **had** been very patient, even if Harry had no other idea why the boy even tried than to spy on him for his father. But it might not be so bad to have someone else to talk to besides Boris and Madam Pomfrey.

In the next moment, Harry rethought it and another idea came to him. How did he know that Adrian wasn't just sitting here **because** Harry didn't talk and no one else would sit down? What if the older had been only looking for a quiet place to do his homework and then just stayed on the same table.

"You're finished?"

Harry jumped and looked at the other Slytherin. He hadn't even noticed that the other boy had finished his homework. Only his mask kept him from blushing. But then he thought better of it. Normally, he didn't wear it when he was working here and over the time, he had even stopped being cautious around Adrian.

This time, he did blush because the other looked amused at him. Of course, some moments have already passed and Harry hadn't replied yet.

"Yes, I am. Sorry, I was just lost in thought." Harry answered.

While Harry was thinking about what he could say, the other boy seemed to have the same problem. Or he looked more like he was thinking about asking Harry a specific question. It seemed he was right, because Adrian nodded to himself and then looked back at the younger boy.

"If you don't mind me asking… Why are you always sitting alone here? I mean, I know that the other first years have asked you a few times to join time. Or at least, I know that Draco and Blaise have asked you but you always said no. Why?"

The black eyes were looking at him intently. Harry didn't know how to react or how to answer that question.

Should he be honest?

Harry thought for a moment longer but then he shrugged. It was nothing damaging that could hurt him in anyway if Adrian told it someone.

"I don't trust them." He said and the older Slytherin looked a bit taken aback. Harry knew that the answer was probably not enough for him.

"When I arrived here, no one would talk to me, or at least not in a nice way. Draco welcomed me very…warmly to Slytherin, Blaise wouldn't talk to me anymore even though he had been friendly enough on the train. And now, after nearly eight months, they've suddenly decided to become my friends? I don't think so." Harry snorted at that thought.

He couldn't deny that he **had** wished for it but he had hoped so often and it had never came true. Why should it now?

Furthermore, at the moment, he was happy with his life. He learned a lot, no one bullied him any longer since Derrick thought that he had killed the snake and didn't show any emotion around him any longer. He was one speaking terms with his brother and even though he still was punished by his father once a month, it was nowhere so bad as it had been.

Somehow, after the strange behaviour James Potter had shown six months ago, he had become more cautious and less violent. The hateful words and stares didn't affect him anymore.

"_Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me again."_

He didn't know where he had heard or read it, but he stuck with it. And most times, he succeeded.

Harry didn't know if he had been lost in thoughts for only a short time or Adrian had just not know what to say, but the other boy was still thinking.

"But don't you think that you might give it a try? I mean, I think they really mean it and would try to become your friends if you only let them."

Harry looked at him. He sounded so earnest as if he believed that after a few words of advice he would suddenly say "Let's be friends!". In that moment, Harry couldn't help himself and stared pointedly at the house badge to assure him that Adrian Snape was really a Slytherin.

It seemed that the other boy interpreted his look correctly because he looked a bit uncomfortable. Harry waited but he said nothing further.

"And just why do you think I would trust you? We are no more friends than I and Crabbe or Goyle. If your words were true, I'd thank you for your advice. But as I have no way idea if it is, I'll just ignore what you said, alright?"

Harry didn't know what else to say.

It was stupid of Adrian to think that he would jump at the chance to become friends with Malfoy and Blaise. He stood up and put his things into his bag. When he was finished with his task, he shouldered the bag and after a moment longer, he looked at Adrian and told him a few of his thoughts.

"You know, if you had told me this three, four months earlier, I might have listened. I might have even taken the chance to make a fool of myself in front of Malfoy and the others for the chance of becoming his friend."

He paused for a moment; then he smiled sadly at the older boy.

"But now…sorry, it's just too little, too late. And even now, I don't even know if you are speaking the truth."

Harry turned and walked to the door, where he turned on last time.

"Have a nice lunch and thank you for the talk, Adrian."

He left.

* * *

_So…how do you like this long chapter? Please review and tell me!!!!_

_Do you know how hard it is to work with these characters?  
In chapter 22, Adrian wasn't planned at all but just came into my Severus-thinking-in-his-office-scene. And in this chapter…Adrian wasn't planned (again)…strange, isn't it? He's never planned…maybe that's the reason why he always appears anyway ;)_

_And now Jonathan becomes more sympathetic with every scene he's in and I'm already wondering what I'm to do in later chapters, which have been planned out so nicely and now probably won't fit anymore :(_

_Ah, well…at least, Harry is happier^^_

_And I already want to thank everyone who might vote for my story at the Quibbler Awards, so **thank** **you**!!! (Voting begins on the 10th of January and ends on the 20th)_

_Another_ _big thanks to __**handadeath**__ for your advice. Could you write me another pm but with your mail in it? I wanted to reply but I can't send you pms :(_

_Thanks again to everyone reading and have a great weekend!!!_

_Chau,_

_Sam :)_


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